


Passengers

by Pyreneese



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga), Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: But they're still handcuffed, Enemies to Lovers, Having to work Together, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light has his memories, M/M, No prior knowledge of Infinity Train needed, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 61,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27740668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyreneese/pseuds/Pyreneese
Summary: It comes in the middle of the night, on the eve of L's death. Both L and Light find themselves on a train right out of science fiction, handcuffed and totally unprepared.**NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE OF INFINITY TRAIN REQUIRED**
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 275
Kudos: 255





	1. The Beach Car

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that's been stewing in my brain for a while. I have different versions of a first chapter, but I think I like the way this one came out :D. Like the summary says, no prior knowledge of Infinity Train required. If you don't know anything about the show, then you'll be learning about the train with our poor boys :). But I do highly recommend it, the show is just *chef's kiss* and it's in danger of not getting a season 4, which I'm bummed about T-T.

November 4th, 2007

L stared at the pillow, a foreboding feeling in his chest. Bells rang in his head, warning him and ticking down each passing second towards what felt like inevitability. His eyes slowly traveled to the chain connecting him to his suspect. Somehow, Light always slept. Through his guilt and the thousands of lives he'd single-handedly snuffed out... he slept. L watched the quiet form, the rise and fall of the other's breath. His looming death hung over him like a cloud, and he had no doubts that Light would revel in his victory. It left L feeling more bitter than he would've imagined and he found himself wanting to- to _reach out_ \- to his would-be killer. Sighing, L twisted around so he was staring at the ceiling, listening to the beginning pitter-patter of rain.

Light woke up at some point, staring at his pillow. Killing L was as... disheartening... as it was exhilarating. In another universe, he could've seen himself being invincible with L by his side. But, alas. L's competitiveness attracted Light just as much as it repelled him. They were fated to be on different sides, chasing each other until one died.

"You're awake, aren't you?" Light asked, assuming L's insomnia.

"Very much so," came the quiet response. "Thinking of a new plan to find the second death note," L lied masterfully.

Light snorted in amusement.

"It took us months to find this one."

"... Then it'll take a few more months to find the second," L responded cooly. Although, they both knew the truth. L wouldn't be around long enough for 'months' to pass.

The both of them stayed stretched out, awake and thinking in the darkness... when L's ears prickled at the sound of a train's horn. He faltered, twisting his neck in curiosity. Light heard it too and actually sat up, tilting his head. He'd never heard train horns in the building before.

"Must be a loud one," he chuckled.

L didn't respond, humming thoughtfully.

Light was about to stretch back down when the horn came louder... closer. They froze, glancing at each other, the hairs on the back of their necks standing. Light's brow stitched and he opened his mouth. The train sounded alarmingly close. He opened his mouth to say something.

A train phased right through the wall, zooming in between the bed and private bathroom, the tracks booming in their chests. L gasped, his hair being blown back by the force. He instinctively shielded his face, yelping at every noise. The horn blared, filling his brain and making it rattle. Light, who was closer to the train, shrieked, jerking back and staring with wide eyes.

It looked like a normal train to Light, sleek and efficient. The kind you'd see in Tokyo.

For L, however... the train looked old and mysterious. It reminded him of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient, one of his favorite novels.

They stared in a shocked awe, neither daring to move. The train came to a screeching stop, making items vibrate in the room. Steam and dust blew up where it stopped, momentarily clouding their vision. They shrank back, their eyes wide. A door to the train slid open, inviting them into a void of pure darkness. L blinked.

"... Uhhh..."

Light mouthed ' _what the fuck_ ', trying to peer into the darkness. They'd both seen their fair share of the odd and extraordinary in Shinigami and killer notebooks... why the Hell not add 'weird ass train' to the group? The train had gone unnervingly quiet. Light slowly crept forward, towards the waiting behemoth, stopping at the edge of the bed. L's eyes flashed in alarm as he tried tugging the chain back.

"What are you doing?" He hissed.

Light waved him off. This wouldn't be his first time exploring the supernatural. Perhaps it was simply an innate curiosity. A need to acquaint himself with what he didn't understand. L had that same curiosity, but he stared at the train mistrustfully, a thumb going to his lips. He didn't like this. And he didn't like how drawn Light was to it. Although... the train did have a certain... pull. Light crawled until he was stepping off the bed, his bare feet touching the cool floor and sending small shocks up his spine. He swallowed thickly, stepping slowly for the abyss of black and still not seeing anything of substance through the door.

"Um... hello?" He called out, stepping closer.

L stayed as still as a statue, gripping the chain apprehensively. He bit his thumb, his ears pounding. This was bad. As if the prospect of dying by death note wasn't bad enough, now they had to worry about this? His eyes darted for the coms on the wall, ready to call Watari. Light tilted his head. He wasn't planning on boarding the train, but he placed a foot on the bottom step, trying to get a better view.

Something shone in the distance.

He squinted, before his eyes popped and Light tried jumping out. A bright green light flashed outwards, encompassing him. A cry of surprise tore through Light's throat, his vision blinding from the light. L yelled behind him, trying to scramble backwards. The chain pulled him forward though, making him sprawl over the bed as the same white light flashed over him, bathing him in a swirl of white and green.

Light's eyes widened. A tunnel...? He could see it forming in the distance... His vision started fading and he could hear the panic fresh in L's voice.

"Light!"

Everything shot to black.

* * *

L stirred, his brow furrowed. He blinked, the world a haze.

There was sea salt in the air, mixed with the sounds of birds and the kiss of a gentle breeze. It was peaceful.

He was resting on something warm... L craned his neck down and he gaped. He was sprawled on top of Light, the other's chiseled muscles pressed against L's limbs. He could feel Light's heartbeat against his ear and his slow, almost methodical breathing. Blinking, L tried moving back. The chain tugged him, making it impossible to get too far away. The other was still unconscious, his head tipped back and resting against sand.

Sand?

W-where was the investigation building? L looked around and blanched.

They were on a beach, the ocean to their right. Waves gently lapped against the shore, followed by sea gulls soaring and dipping, their cries mixing with swaying grass. L shrank, his throat bobbing nervously.

"Light," he breathed urgently, poking the other's arm.

Light grumbled in his sleep, twisting to escape L's touch. When his eyes fluttered open, he stared at the sand for a solid minute before bolting to a sitting position.

"What the _fuck_?!"

"I don't know." For once, L had no snarky comeback or underhanded comment. He ran a hand through his wild hair. "I just... I don't know."

Light followed the hand with his eyes, his lips pursed. His jaw fell open, something between terror and shock passing over his features as he stared at L's hand. L allowed himself to humor that the expression didn't fit Light's handsome features.

"Your hand!" Light exclaimed, grabbing L's wrist.

L inhaled sharply at the rough grasp, but he looked down along with the other. Both of their hands had... glowing green numbers... they were in neat rows around the hand, bleeding out onto their wrists and disappearing beneath their sleeves. L almost didn't want to remove his shirt to see how far the numbers went, but he forced himself to. He tore off his usual white shirt, struggling to crane his neck and see the numbers.

Light glanced at him, inspecting lithe, tight muscles packed into a lean torso, a paradox of weight, muscle and health. L smoothed a hand over his skin, finding that the numbers snaked around his arm and ticked up to the top of his shoulder, stopping there. He ran an awed finger over the anomaly, marveling in their limey glow. Each little number was lit up, making his arm beam.

"This is weird," he murmured.

All Light could do was nod.

Light gently tugged at his own shirt, nervous about what he'd see if he took it off. Would the numbers be up to his shoulder too? As he slipped it off, L reeled back. Those large eyes of his somehow got larger.

The numbers were everywhere.

They passed Light's shoulder, wrapped around his entire torso and back. They then went along his other arm, finally stopping at the forearm.

The numbers lit up Light like a beacon, the light reflecting in L's cool grey eyes.

Light's lip quivered, genuine fear worming up his chest. He quickly put his shirt back on, holding his arms protectively. He didn't say anything, averting his eyes and trying to stop himself from shaking. On a good day, he hated no knowing something. This... this was beyond him.

"It's a single number," L whispered.

Light's eyes snapped in his direction.

"What?"

"There aren't any breaks or decimals and it has an end. They're both really... large... numbers."

Light didn't respond right away. On one hand, it felt like irrelevant information. Yet at the same time... fuck if he knew what was relevant or not at the moment.

L struggled to his feet, looking around the beach. He didn't even think they were in Tokyo anymore. There weren't any buildings as far as the eye could see. He took a cautious step from the sand onto the grass, feeling the blades between his toes.

"Where are we?" L murmured.

What happened to the train? 

Light struggled to his own feet, shaking the sand out of his chestnut strands. He glanced around, amber eyes instantly analyzing. Fuck, he didn't have his death note on him. And if he didn't see Ryuk... a part of him wondered if he was so far away from the book that it was impossible for the Shinigami to reach him.

L did a slow circle, taking in the environment. By all means, it was serene and calm, lulling him and making him want to sleep. His eyes went out over the water and he paused, seeing one of the close waves rising and bubbling.

"We should go," he said urgently, tugging on the chain.

Light growled in annoyance, but followed the man's gaze. Something was... emerging... from the water. A large tentacle that writhed and twisted. Light swallowed thickly, almost falling on his backside. The tentacle was huge, stretching high in the sky. All Light could do was stare in a quiet horror, his throat closed on him. L was the first to react.

He ran.

Now, Light knew from their tennis match that L was at least somewhat athletic. What he didn't expect was the full out _sprint_. Light squeaked, the chain dragging him through the dirt and L pulling him along as if he weighed nothing. He tried to open his mouth to tell L to let him get up, but dirt kicked up against his tongue, his face smooshing into the grass.

In that moment, L didn't really care about Light's wellbeing. He tore across the grass, not even daring to look back at the creature. From somewhere behind, a roar shook the ground, making him stumble and almost fall. It was just the amount of time Light needed to scramble to his feet. The two of them tore in the opposite direction of the ocean, racing up a hill. Kira had long been forgotten and neither of them even really thought much of the death note.

The creature in the waves growled, the tentacle dipping back beneath the water. That didn't stop L and Light though. They kept running until they reached the top of the hill, looking out over a valley. In the middle of the valley was a red door, not attached to any building or structure.

L bit his thumb so hard that he drew blood. If it meant finding out what the Hell was happening, he'd take any lead. L started moving for the red door, but Light dug his heels into the dirt.

"What if it's dangerous?" His voice was tight with apprehension.

L barely spared him a glance.

"That's why I'm the one checking. You were already planning on killing me soon anyway, were you not?"

Light blinked, averting his eyes. He didn't say anything, a sour taste on his tongue. Why did L's words bother him? He was right. If they were in headquarters, he'd be preparing for the man's death.

"Ryuzaki."

L looked at him in earnest, tilting his head curiously. Light's tongue went heavy. He wasn't even sure what he'd been planning on saying. He sighed.

"I'm not Kira." But the words felt hollow. Especially here and now, where priority dictated that Kira didn't even matter.

Large, grey owlish eyes settled on him, analyzing and slightly amused, even though L's expression never changed.

"I'm sure you're not," he responded sarcastically and continued marching for the door.

Light followed more slowly, staring at the thing suspiciously. The door handle was all weird, reminding Light for an infinity sign cut in half. L poked at the handle. He tried pulling and pushing, but the door didn't give way. Light scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Maybe try twisting it?"

L hummed and did as Light suggested. The sign turned and a pair of double doors swung open. L's knees went weak, the blood rushing through his system at uncomfortable speeds as he stared out the door, his voice strained.

"We're _on_ the train," he whispered.

Light looked around him, suddenly wishing he was back home. Under his blanket and shutting out the world. A part of him didn't even care whether or not he could keep the death note. He just wanted to go home.

They were in one of the train cars, the car a thousand times bigger than what they'd seen in their bedroom. The metal was old and slightly rusted, giant wheels as large as the building spinning at impossible speeds. The wind was harsh, making it difficult to squint out towards a thin metal bridge that led to the next car. L took a cautious step forward on the platform between the door and the bridge, staring at it. He wanted to speak. To say _something_. But for the first time in his life, his genius brain was at a loss. He stepped around the short platform, looking outwards.

Wherever this train was, it wasn't on Earth. Before him stretched wasteland, the landscape red and scarred under a clouded sky. Terrifying lightning flashed every few seconds, lighting up the black clouds and charred, dead trees littered around the wasteland. Light's nostrils flared, his hair whipping in the wind. This was wrong on so many levels.

Suddenly, the Kira investigation didn't matter as Light took a step back and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Ryuk! Ryuk, where are you?!... Rem?!"

L's eyes slid in his direction, silent and observing.

Light dropped his hands, hyperventilation threatening to take over. He didn't understand. This violated logic, more so than the death note. His mind strained, threatening to shut down in an effort to protect itself.

L's gaze traveled to their feet, still bare from having been in bed. He always slept in a white shirt and loose jeans, partly from his training and the precaution of having to leave a country in the middle of the night if things were going south. Light, though... he was wearing a loose shirt that billowed, his pants so large and comfortable that they were slipping. L forced his brain to focus on the task at hand. One problem after another. It was the only way they'd make any progress.

He motioned towards their feet.

"If we cut our feet on the bridge, I could see us getting tetanus or some other infection."

He ducked his head, moving back for the door they'd just come out of. Light swallowed thickly, his feet rooted to the spot.

"But..."

"Come on. We can make temporary shoes from the grass," L answered gruffly.

He couldn't let the situation linger in his brain. If he actually started thinking about their predicament, he knew he'd start panicking. Light gaped, looking on the verge of arguing. But after a few seconds, he realized he didn't have his usual fire.

Light quietly nodded, shuffling after L and returning to the valley.


	2. The Duck Car

"It's a train. It must have a conductor, someone who could help us and maybe even get us off the train." L muttered, pacing.

"You're assuming there is a conductor," Light replied airily. "For all we know, the train's automated."

The other didn't respond. Just glancing out the train revealed that thing seemed infinite on both ends. But the vehicle was traveling in one direction, which seemed to indicate an engine of some sort... but they had no timeframe for how long it'd take to get there. It could be anywhere from months to years to decades. Light sat up, holding his hand out. The numbers glowed their green light, making a shiver run up L's spine.

"Okay, okay. This thing is huge, right? We can't possibly be the only people here..."

L watched him in interest, dipping his head in concession.

"True. There could be others who've been here longer and can give us some information... Or the humans can be the most dangerous aspect of the train."

It was no secret what L thought of people. To him, they were all just disgusting liars. Monsters who wanted to devour and consume. Light pursed his lips, not wanting to admit that L had a point. Anyone who spent too long in this realm of illogic probably went insane just from the stress alone.

"We could always travel in the direction of the engine while looking for people," Light offered, shrugging.

L stared at him. It was barely a plan, but it was the best they had at the moment. He nodded slowly, looking out over the valley. It was true they'd have to move at some point... the valley had no food or materials for tools. And if they tries going on the beach again, that sea monster would make a reappearance. L gave a short nod.

"Agreed."

* * *

Light wiggled his toes in the grass shoes. They were uncomfortable and crude, but he supposed effective. Although, if he were being honest, he wasn't looking forward to leaving the valley at all. Who knew what was in the next car? But then again, they needed to know what this place was about, past this one car and what they could see. He glanced in L's direction, trying to gage the man's reactions. L's face was as infuriatingly neutral as ever. Light blinked, trying to get back to the task at hand.

"Ready?"

L's gunmetal, determined gaze never changed.

"Ready."

They shared an expression. One of mutual understanding. Not trust... never trust... L wanted to laugh. He was relying on someone he didn't trust. How fucking great. L didn't know how he'd be able to survive with Light. The man _was_ Kira, and as such, L didn't trust him further than he could throw him. L glanced down at their handcuffs in annoyance, wishing he could chew through his arm and just run. Alas. He supposed he needed Light. Holding their breaths, they walked across the thin bridge to the next car's platform. Everything went smoothly, no surprises, which both were eternally grateful for.

Light was the one standing in front of the next door, wondering what would be inside the car. Would it be a beach and valley, similar to their first car? Some strange, new alien world? He'd always wanted something to challenge his brain, but he hated not being the best. To actually feel vulnerable and... scared... in this situation.

L looked out over the wasteland, flinching every time there was a flash of lightning. It seemed endless. He tried counting the time between flashes, but never got past 1. There was an old adage to not fear what one doesn't understand. Easier said than done. L was terrified. He wanted to curl up in bed and actually get some sleep. L didn't let it show on his features, though. He'd become good about hiding his fear over the years. L looked out down the side of the train and winced. There were cars as far as the eye could see in both directions. No indication of a beginning or end to the train in sight. Maybe it really was useless trying to get to an engine room. Perhaps it went on for forever, full of little pocket dimensions...

Light pushed the fear down and slowly opened the doors, a part of him expecting the worst.

He blinked.

"... Ducks."

L turned around.

"What?"

The car... was indeed... full of ducks. They were so tightly packed together that they'd literally have to swim through ducks to get to the other side of the car. Their quacks filled the air, none of them so much as looking at the boys. L gaped. He opened and closed his mouth, pursing his lips.

"Okay. Ducks. I can deal with ducks."

Light nodded slowly, taking a cautious step into the absolute ocean of ducks. His nose wrinkled.

"Disgusting animals."

L couldn't help a small smirk that graced his lips.

"Careful, Light. They say apathy towards animals is often a sign of psychopathy."

Light scoffed, shooting the other a glare, but chose not to dignify that with a response. Instead, he forced himself into the car, shoving ducks aside. He growled, fighting his way in.

"You know, someone created this train. Someone _put_ ducks here."

"How do you know the train was created by 'someone'? What if it's its own entity?" L countered, pushing in after Light.

Light grunted, yelping as a duck's ass bounced square against his face.

"Because everything comes from somewhere. Whether divine or manmade, the train has to have an origin."

L hummed thoughtfully. He shielded his face when a few more ducks toppled over him, all of them quaking unconcernedly, as if they weren't there.

"I suppose," he conceded, picking out feathers from his hair, "but counter-point. What if the train's alive?"

"Unless you're suggesting the train itself is a deity, it still has to come from somewhere."

L nodded, latching his thumbnail between his teeth. It was interesting to speculate and theorize, but theories wouldn't get them home.

Light made an 'aha' sound, finding the door. He pushed the doors open and squeaked when a few ducks fell out, leading to a small avalanche. Light was dropped onto his butt on the platform, blinking and still processing. L managed to squeeze his way out without too much damage to the ducks. He hesitantly tried pushing the doors closed again, growling at the resistance. Taking a step back, L charged at the doors, shoving them closed and finally turning the half-infinity symbol.

"Ducks."

"I don't care what you say," Light grumbled, "someone had to have the idea to put ducks in a car."

L looked at him... and the detective couldn't help a drawn-out snort, his nose wrinkling. He gripped his sides, shaking his head with a chuckle.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck?"

Light watched him, blinking. The last time he saw L laugh was when the detective had seen Misa. This felt much more... genuine. L's entire face changed with his laugh. Light's cheeks went slightly warm, but he ignored it, opting to stand and stretch.

"Alright. What do you think's in the next car? Geese?"

L wheezed another laugh, his lips twitched and disbelieving.

"Swans would be nice."

Before Light could respond, there was a rumbling.

They exchanged tense glances, their eyes wide. Light gasped as the bridge to the other car started retracting, the metal railing falling flat as the bridge disappeared. L's brow furrowed, but the rumbling only got worse.

They gaped as the car that'd been in front of them shifted forward and a new car zoomed overhead... traveling on top of the train. It slid down and clicked into place between the duck car and the unknown car, settling in. A thin bridge extended, now connecting the duck car to it. They stared, sent into a stunned silence. Light was the one to break it, taking a cautious step onto the bridge.

"So the cars shift... that's good to know."

L looked at the ground, exhaling slowly.

"Hm."

If the cars moved... any hope of actually reaching some sort of engine room dashed. He straightened, eyes flickering over the new car, much larger than L's building and looking old. L pointed a finger at the top of the car.

"Maybe the trip would go faster if we traveled on top of the train?"

Light's eyes snapped in his direction. He hadn't considered that. He didn't _like_ that he didn't consider that. Light growled, tugging L across the bridge and towards the door.

"We're not traveling on top of the train."

"There are grooves on the top. Some for the wheels and others that I don't know the purpose of. If we stay in the grooves, we'd be protected from wind."

Light growled and rolled his eyes.

"Well, I think we should go through the door."

"And I think not." L's voice had gone frigid.

Light whirled, baring his teeth and trying to look intimidating.

"I'm going through the door."

"Not as long as you're attached to me, you're not."

L's voice dripped with venom, dangerous and threatening. Light scowled, his fists bunching at his sides.

"You don't get to make all the decisions, Ryuzaki!"

"You want to bet?" There was an eery evenness to L's tone.

Eyes blazing, Light grasped L's shirt, pulling him forward. The detective was unfazed by the rough grab. He simply held eye contact with Light, a danger brewing between them. Light reeled back, looking ready to punch the man. L tensed, his capoeira training already kicking in. Light infuriated him on so many levels, made him question his own sanity and judgement. He hated Light for it. He wanted to smash his foot into that perfect face.

They stopped when they heard a buzzing sound. L craned his neck, still in Light's grip. There was something... flying towards the train. It was a black form, almost difficult to make out. As it got closer, L shrank. Light let go of L's shirt in a daze, taking a step for the door. It was a... thing... the size of a large dog and had the legs of one. But the top... reminded L of a cockroach with a hard shell and insect wings.

"Okay, you win this round. Car, _now_!"

Light fumbled with the door, practically throwing it open. The creature shrieked an unnatural, horrifying sound, landing on the platform. L gasped, throwing his weight for the door to close it, but the creature was too quick. It threw its own weight and managed to push through, antenna writhing wildly. L cried out in surprise, falling onto his back. The thing pounced on him, pinning him. L cried out, struggling to move, his eyes wide.

"L!" Light screamed, rushing forward.

L stared up at hundreds of feelers looming over him, large antenna touching his face and sending him in a locking, numbing terror. He froze when a blue light emanated from the creature's mouth... and L could literally feel his soul starting to leave his body. His skin started to tighten, his youth and everything he was being forcefully sucked out of his body. _I'm dying_. A scream ripped from his throat, sobs choking his chest as he felt his own life being drained out. He was slipping, unable to concentrate or fight.

Light roared, body-slamming the beast. It was enough for L to gasp, returning to normal quickly. He coughed, rolling to his side and struggling to his feet, his vision swimming.

The creature pounced at Light next, but L snarled, delivering the most vicious, calculated kick that he'd ever done. It yelped, falling to the side and whining. Neither stuck around to watch it get up.

L and Light tore through the car, a desert landscape. They noticed little creatures, inhabitants of the desert no doubt, cowering behind cacti and staring at the creature, whimpering. Light could hear the beast's footsteps, the shriek it gave making him weak in the knees. Tears stung the back of his eyes. He could practically feel it on his back. They tore for the door, L wheezing fearfully. He was the one to reach it first.

Light raced out and L slammed the door in the creature's face. He quickly locked it and held the door in place, panting heavily. L stared at it, listening to the pounding and howls of frustration on the other side. He slowly slid down, sitting on cold metal and heaving.

Light scanned the other, finding himself feeling... sorry... for L.

"What was it like?" He whispered.

L rested his temple against the door and shuddered, massaging the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to do anything. L just wanted to shrivel up and disappear. He hung his head and hugged his knees close to his chest, his voice barely above a breath.

"... Like I was being forced out of my own body. Like everything I was was being torn apart."

He closed his eyes, feeling weak and vulnerable. He tried to remind himself that he couldn't be that. That he had to be emotionless and strong... but L couldn't help a quiet whimper that resonated through his throat. It was easily the most terrifying experience of his life.

The whimper made Light's eyes widen a fraction. He'd never heard L like this. It was... unnerving. Light didn't know how to comfort him. He didn't know _why_ he wanted to comfort the man at all. He swallowed thickly and leaned down, touching L's shoulder.

"Let's um... get to the next car before more show up?"

L looked up at the younger, swallowing thickly. He nodded and quietly followed Light, still listening to the distant banging behind them.

They crossed the thin bridge, now scanning the wasteland for those things. They could see some in the far, far distance. But they were too far to notice L or Light or to get to them in time.

Pulling open the door, Light ushered the other inside. He scanned for danger outside before closing the doors and breathing heavily, his limbs trembling. Behind him, L looked up and around, a faint, weak smile crossing his lips.

They were in a library... for the first time, the temperature felt truly nice. There were about four large armchairs set up around a crackling fireplace. The car was soothingly quiet and had a darker, romantic light created by the fire. When L looked up, the bookcases seemed to go up forever. He waited for a few moments to see if there were any inhabitants. No one came out or said anything. Moving for a large, cushiony seat, L curled up, his heart still moving at a million miles.

Light hadn't moved from the door, his nostrils flaring. He looked at L, quirking an eyebrow.

"Getting comfortable?"

"We didn't sleep before getting on the train," L yawned, giving the younger his back, "we need to keep our energy up. This seems as good a place as any."

Light hummed thoughtfully, still on edge. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to sleep... but he practically collapsed onto one of the armchairs, his eyelids heavy. He glanced in L's direction, at the detective's back. Light wondered if L had actually fallen asleep. He couldn't possibly imagine so... Well... that was L's problem. Not his.

He turned on his side, resting his cheek on one of the pillows. At this point, Light was so exhausted that he fell asleep quickly.


	3. The Sweets Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA the one where L goes to Heaven XD.

L wasn't sure when he fell asleep.

He must've fallen asleep because he was waking up at some point. At first, he didn't know where he was. His very first thought was that he was in the Wammy's House library, curled up and surrounded by books, being warmed by the fireplace. He always loved that little corner of the orphanage, tucked away from everyone else and in his own small world. It wasn't until he felt the handcuffs on his wrist that he realized where he was. L slowly turned around in the armchair. Whereas he'd stretched out like a cat, Light slept sitting, his cheek resting on the soft chair's cushion. L didn't want to wake him. They were both still drained and exhausted. But he watched Light... the way his chestnut hair fell over his golden features. L briefly wondered how a human being could naturally look like that. Of course, the perfection was just an illusion, just like everything else about Light.

Holding his knees to his chest, L stared at his jeans, his heart... twisting. Now that everything was calm enough that he was thinking about the orphanage... his throat felt tight on him. _I want to go home_. He'd never prescribed the word 'home' to the place, but now...

"Home," he breathed, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to stave off a wave of emotion.

L felt a slight tingling sensation on his shoulder. His brow furrowed and he rolled his sleeve up. He blinked, slowly poking at his number. It had... gone down... the last two digits had been a 92. But those two numbers had shifted down to a 33. L stared at the new glowing numbers, passing a finger over them. His number was changing? He swallowed thickly, casting a worried look in Light's direction.

The other stirred and groaned, his eyes fluttering. L quickly pushed down his sleeve, his pulse thundering. He watched the other get up and stretch, in the process of waking. L simply observed, debating whether or not he should mention it. Knowing Light, the teen would probably find a way to use this against him. And L... L hated being in the dark. Not knowing what was happening and scared. Scared like a fucking child. No. He had to maintain his mask.

Light yawned and rolled his neck, gently massaging his face. He glanced down at the detective.

"Sleep any?"

L shrugged, scratching his arm through his sleeve consciously.

"Enough. Come on. Let's go."

Light's brow quirked... but he could appreciate the fact that L saw no need in pleasantries. What was the point of saying 'good morning' if it obviously wasn't? He quietly followed L, glancing down at their grass shoes. After running away from that creature, the things were beat up, frayed and almost undone. He didn't even want to think about how baad he looked... un-showered, teeth not brushed... disgusting. Light sighed heavily, grumbling under his breath.

"The next car better have actual shoes."

They made their way across the bridge, ignoring how the lightning made the hairs on the back of their neck stand. They were about half-way across when the train came to a screeching halt, almost pitching them forward.

L caught himself on the railing with a yelp, his knuckles white on the metal. Light breathed heavily, his nostrils flaring and adrenaline preparing him for any danger. His eyes darted around the wasteland, the arid air swirling in his lungs.

L was the one who looked up first. He gasped, his entire face going pale. Light followed the look. The storm clouds were swirling together, looking like they were about to drop a tornado. Instead of a tornado though... an energy beam snaked down. Yellowish and crackling with its own electricity. Without even realizing he was doing it, Light moved closer to L. Seeking safety, or to provide it was another matter entirely. The beam moved down and picked a random car about twenty away, going straight through the wall.

They tensed, watching in unabashed horror as the faint outline of a person floated outside of the train, completely encased in the energy. Just as soon as the person appeared... they disintegrated into the energy... becoming nothing but particles.

Light had to suppress a scream. L simply stared, swallowing thickly.

As quickly as it had happened, the beam retreated back into the clouds. Steam blew up and the wheels made a loud noise, starting to move again. They stayed in their position, listening as the train crept forward, picking up speed until it was racing again. Neither said anything, the wind whipping their hair backwards. L glanced at Light, his voice quiet and as unemotional as he could muster.

"Let's keep moving."

Light scowled. He wanted to protest. He was a god, surely he could help these people... but... he gave a 'hmph', following behind. Maybe someday, he'd dismantle this train and free the people. They'd thank him and at least he'd find his godhood _somewhere_. Light glared at the chain, sighing. There hadn't been anything in the library that could pick the lock. As long as L was around, godhood of any kind was just a dream.

L opened the next car's doors. Light wanted to snort at the view before them, and he did. The entire car was made out of candy. L looked like he'd fall dead then and there.

A pathway made out of chocolate stretched into a forest with gingerbread trees and grass made from lollipops. Large bushes of cotton candy filled the forest, gumdrops in their soft wisps like fruit on a bush. Light stepped inside in awe, taking in the view. To their left was a lake of melted ice cream, jawbreakers acting as boulders and pebbles. In the distance were mountains seemingly made out of cake, frosting on the top making them appear as a snow-covered mountain range. And the _smell_... fresh-baked fudge mixed with about any sweet imaginable.

L squeaked.

Light did a double-take. _L **squeaked**_.

The detective pointed a slow finger, motioning over the forest and looking at Light. Those large grey eyes were lit up, practically bugging out of the man's head.

"Light, ca- you- loo-" He said incoherently.

"I mean, I am hungry," Light murmured, "I just... hoped we'd find something with a little more... nutritional value."

L smacked Light's arm. The younger yelped, glaring at the detective. Without apologizing or making sure he was okay, L pulled them forward, violently tugging on the chain. Light was no match. All he could do was jog to keep up as L proceeded to fling himself into the field of lollipops. Light's nose wrinkled.

"What the Hell is wrong with you? You're going to get all sticky and-"

The man didn't answer. L shot Light a look that said 'I've been waiting my whole life for this moment. Shut up.' He shoved a lollipop into his mouth, giving a giddy sound and racing for the nearest tree, running a hand over the smooth, crumby surface. L bounced a bit on his feet, looking like a kid in a... well, a candy store.

"It's gingerbread!" L cried out.

His neck craned forward and he bit direction onto the tree. Light watched, letting a long, condescending laugh. So caution really did go right out the window with the detective when sweets were involved. Maybe Light could've laid some kind of mousetrap during the investigation. It would've been a lot easier than all the complicated shit he'd done.

L shoveled cotton candy into his mouth, already jumping to the next sweet. It didn't help that his stomach was absolutely _aching_ for food. L popped a hard caramel into his mouth. A serene smile crossed his lips at the hit of buttery caramel that coated his tongue and made his mouth warm. Light leaned against a tree nonchalantly and tilted his head curiously, hair falling over his face.

"For all you know, it's poisoned."

"Light, look around. This is a dream come true. Nothing you say's going to get to me."

Light pursed his lips, the statement deeply... annoying. _I can totally get under his skin whenever I want_. But he didn't say anything, opting to just listen to the sounds of the car and L practically inhaling whatever he could. Light _was_ hungry... he snapped a piece of licorice and stared at it, wrinkling his nose. He'd given up sweet stuff a long time ago. He nibbled at it, savoring the strong and nearly perfect flavor. Okay, fine, it was... good. Still holding his licorice, Light followed L from a distance, making sure the idiot didn't do anything to hurt himself.

L jogged down the path, every once in a while stooping to pick up some loose candy. Light couldn't help but watch on amusedly, marveling at the sheer joy and surrender he didn't even know L was capable of.

It was hard to keep track of how far they'd walked. This was easily the biggest car they'd been in thus far. And that honestly worked for L.

They came up on a small village with about five gingerbread houses. L blinked, desperately wanting to take a bite out of the wall, but... that might've been a bit more frowned upon. He had to admit the houses were beautiful, though. Frosting outlined the edges, decorated with sprinkles and crumbled up candy cane. Each house had its own garden of candy, practically calling to L. He crunched down on his lollipop to keep his quickly-salivating mouth occupied.

A gingerbread man hobbled out the door and L chewed the lollipop's stick. Light gave him a sideways glance, snorting.

"It's probably best if you don't eat the local population," he chuckled.

L's glare snapped in his direction and he made a show of rolling his eyes.

"I wasn't going to!"

"But you were thinking about it," Light purred.

L huffed, opting to ignore the other as he marched for the gingerbread man. The thing looked up with gumdrop eyes, a mouth of frosting spreading into a wide smile.

"Passengers...? We have passengers!"

Before L could say anything, the little treat was turning towards the house.

"Ginger! Ginger, we have passengers!"

A gingerbread woman poked her head out the door and she gasped excitedly.

"Passengers! Come on, Breadley, help me put together the guest room!"

Who L could assume to be 'Breadley' rushed inside, chipping excitedly. L and Light exchanged a look, until Light smiled.

"They seem pretty friendly."

L's own lips twitched. He looked back at the other houses to see more inhabitants gathering outside and whispering excitedly to themselves. They started crowding forward and L couldn't escape his usual claustrophobia. It'd never been debilitating... but being watched and surrounded always made him weak at the knees. Breadley marched towards the crowd, telling the others to step back.

Ginger bustled out, her smile kindly.

"Why don't you come in and relax? It's very rare for us to get passengers but the ones we do meet are always tired."

Perhaps it was just in L's nature to be suspicious. Light gently tugged on the chain, scanning L's features. The detective was stony-faced, but small flickers in his eyes told Light that L had his reservations.

"This is an opportunity to get some answers," Light reminded quietly.

Right. Answers. What they'd been looking for. L searched the other's face and nodded slowly, following Ginger into her home. The house was small. L had to hunch over even more than usual. And even then, his hair scraped the ceiling. Ginger ushered them to sit as she fetched some bowls.

Light sighed when she set candy-soup in front of them. He wasn't even sure what he was expecting. Just the licorice had given him a stomach ache. Looking at the creature, he gave his most charming smile, placing his chin in the cup of his hand.

"You have a lovely home here."

Ginger giggled, red frosting appearing on her cheeks.

"You're too kind. How long have you been on the train?"

L swallowed thickly, his brain working. It'd been difficult to keep track with constantly running for his life and being bombarded by so many new and seemingly impossible things. But he did a quick count in his head.

"I guess..." He glanced at Light, shrugging, "this is our second day?"

Light nodded slowly.

"Hm, I think that sounds about right."

 _We need to find water_. Light sighed at the thought. Ginger listened in interest, blinking rapidly.

"Two days? You poor things..."

Light hummed in agreement, crossing his arms. He tilted his head inquisitively.

"It has been difficult... maybe you can answer a few questions?"

Ginger blinked and nodded, her face friendly. L's thumb went to his lips, his teeth leaving gentle indentations on the skin as he listened intently. Light cleared his throat. He presented his hand, the green glow instantly lighting up his face.

"Do you know what these numbers are?"

"Only that every passenger has one," she shrugged, "I don't know what they mean, though. We don't get too many visitors."

Light nodded thoughtfully, poking at his number. He leaned back, tilting his head.

"Do you know whether or not the train has a conductor?"

Ginger tapped her chin and brightened.

"I think we actually do have one of those!" She giggled. " _Someone_ has to be controlling this train, don't they?"

"Yes..." Light murmured slowly, scanning her, "you wouldn't happen to know how far the engine is, right?"

Ginger shook her head.

"I've never left my car!"

The two of them sighed, frustrated that not many of their questions had been satisfied. L nibbled on his thumb, biting down a bit too hard and drawing a spot of blood. He was the one who spoke up curiously, cocking his head.

"Is there anyone who does know?"

Ginger considered, tapping her cookie hand against her temple. L tried not to stare.

"The Cat is pretty knowledgeable. She seems to go everywhere on the train and seems familiar with almost every car. If you're looking for answers, she can probably help you. I'm just a regular denizen who's never left her little corner of the universe... sorry."

The Cat... L sighed softly, his eyes moving in Light's direction. At least now they had _something_. One could hardly call it a name, but it was a start. Someone to look for. Light nodded gratefully, flashing a dazzling smile.

"I see. Thank you so much for your help..." He glanced at the other, "As much as Ryuzaki and I would like to stay, we really need to get going... find supplies and try to figure things out."

L tried not to pout. Light was right. They needed water and... actual... food. But the thought of leaving this amazing car made him sag depressedly. Light snorted.

"We can always come back."

L's jaw squared and his face went blank, expertly hiding his disappointment.

"That'd be counter-productive."

Light shrugged, his lips twitching teasingly.

"Whatever you say."

L wanted to kick him.

Ginger stood, taking their bowls.

"I understand! I'll escort you to the door."


	4. The Market Car

L sighed dramatically as they left the candy car, Ginger and Breadley waving behind them. Of course, the detective managed to absolutely stuff his pockets with sweet treats and Light just knew the man would hoard them like treasure. Light watched the other out of the corner of his eye. The second they stepped out of the car, L's mask was back up, his face blank and emotionless as his eyes scanned their surroundings analytically. It left Light with an... odd... feeling. He'd never seen the detective enjoy himself with such abandonment, and... he wanted to see it again. Light rationalized that he was just intrigued. It was simply a new facet of L for him to explore and become acquainted with before destroying the detective. Even so, the sentiment still stood.

Light wanted to see that side of L again.

They continued onwards, passing through different cars and friendly denizens. Sometimes the denizens would ask for help with things, but L and Light denied them. They were getting worried about their lack of supplies. Neither of them really stopped, making their way through cars as fast as possible and seeking water, maybe even some food. No, water was the most important. As it was, they'd wasted so much energy running and dehydrating themselves.

As they marched through a car full of gossiping birds, L faltered, his knees going weak.

"Water," he rasped.

Light nodded, his own vision swimming.

"One more car and then we'll rest," he promised.

L bit his lip. They'd gone through nine cars between where they were and the candy car. Every step felt more and more hopeless. They trudged across the bridge and Light threw the door open. He gasped, his eyes wide.

Rain. The floor, walls and ceiling looked like clouds, creating the appearance of them standing in the sky and being rained on. Light could see the exit in the far distance, just a red dot floating among the clouds. L perked up, his lips twitching. He moved into the car and gasped at the feeling of cold water hitting his face. Light was close behind, a relieved laugh escaping him. Tipping his head back, his mouth opened, simply allowing the water to hit his tongue and the back of his dry throat.

L did the same, savoring each drop. Who knew rain could be so euphoric? He closed his eyes, feeling himself rejuvenate.

Light's eyes slid in L's direction... at the way the rain bounced off the man's delicate, porcelain features... droplets hanging and falling from L's strands... Light blinked, averting his eyes. He told himself he didn't think anything of it. He sighed, speaking above the rain.

"I don't have a bottle to collect, you?"

L shook his head with a heavy sigh. He cupped his hands and drank the water, looking in Light's direction.

"... No. Maybe we should move on."

Light pursed his lips, but nodded. They left the rain car, their clothing now sopping and sticking to their skin. L shivered, the cold making him huddle into himself.

"We need to- to find a good place soon. Somewhere with clothing and food and water and supplies..."

They could only go for so long... Every car they went through came up with useless items. A car full of nothing but green things, empty cardboard boxes set up in a giant maze, a burning city being destroyed by Kaiju.

They ran really fast through that one.

The train was such a surreal place that felt incomprehensible. Neither of them had really experienced hunger or thirst quite like this. It was an annoying combination that left them on the end of their nerves. L popped a lollipop into his mouth, trying to use the energy to keep him going. He wanted so badly to collapse and curl up into a ball.

Light paused in front of the next door, glaring at it.

"This is going to suck, isn't it?"

"Just open the damn door," L growled, crunching down on his sweet.

Grumbling, Light swung it open.

They were instantly assaulted by the smell of... food... barbecue, teriyaki, baked meat... and the sounds of people talking and laughing. L gasped, looking over Light's shoulder. It was nighttime and the car was a giant outdoors market, lit up by various lanterns and torches. Denizens crowded the streets at stalls and behind alleys, large snails who didn't pay L or Light any mind.

Light's eyes instantly slid towards the cooking meat, his mouth salivating. He tugged on the chain, pulling L along as he made a beeline for the stand. The snail was easily a foot taller than Light, its large brown shell big enough to encase him. It sprinkled on some spices onto what looked like beef, its movements slow but purposeful. All around it was plates of food being kept warm, rice that called out to Light and made him weak in the knees. Even L who'd never cared about 'real food' found himself leaning towards the meal, his nostrils flaring in desire. Light blinked, clearing his throat and trying not to stare at the snail.

"U-um, hi. I'll have a plate of beef and rice?" _Please let it be beef, please let it be beef, please let it be beef_.

To both his shock and relief, the snail used some tongs to pick out some meat from the grill, arranging on a plate and scooping out a heaping of rice. Light grinned in anticipation, holding out his hands. He could smell it... his stomach rumbled excitedly, flipping and needing to shove food into his mouth. But the snail didn't pass it over.

"That'll be five shells."

Light glared.

"...Excuse me?"

"I said," the slug's voice gurgled, "that'll be five shells. You know, shells." As if proving his point, he held up a small golden shell the size of a quarter.

Light's eye twitched. _Four days_. The only thing he'd eaten in four days was the godforsaken candy. His eyes narrowed, his voice going dangerous.

"Listen here, you piece of-"

"I have candy," L interjected, carefully placing his last few pieces on the counter. "Is there anyway we can trade?"

The snail snickered, pushing the pieces to the ground.

"I don't trade. Especially not with things so meaningless."

L stiffened, looking down at his candy now covered in dirt. A film of sadness passed over his features and Light suddenly felt like punching the snail. He didn't know why, but the _rage_ that suddenly overcame him... Light's eyes snapped in the snail's direction, his lips twisted into a snarl.

"I'm two second away from pouring salt all over you," he growled.

The snail barked a harsh laugh.

"Security will be here before you can do diddly squat. No shells, no service... hm, I will take that watch, though."

Light froze. He chewed his lip, trying to hide his watch out of sight. The scrap inside was his last connection to the death note. Who knew how long he'd be here on this train... long enough that his memories might be automatically erased if he didn't keep in contact with the paper. No... he couldn't lose the scrap.

"It was a gift from my father... it's not for sale."

The snail's brow quirked, but he shrugged.

"No shells, no service."

The pair stared at the denizen, wet, hungry and cold. It was difficult keeping up masks of indifference when they were so miserable.

"I'm not in charity work," the snail barked, "stop loitering!"

They both whimpered, neither wanting to move away from the food. They tried going to other food stands, but they were told the same. No shells, no service. Clothing stands... no shells, no service... places selling canteens of water...

After having checked about fifteen separate stands, they finally moved between some buildings. It was under the guise of figuring out their next moves. In reality, they were just exhausted.

L slumped in the alley. Light paced like a wild animal, kicking his foot hard against a metal wall, barely even registering the pain.

"I'm going to kill that slimy insect!" He snarled.

L stayed sitting against the wall, looking almost bored with Light's outburst. But his heart was absolutely cracking. His last eight pieces... gone...

"Well, killing him would be on-brand for you," he snorted.

Light's head whirled in the detective's direction, eyes blazing amber.

"This isn't funny," he hissed.

"Of course it's not," L snapped back impatiently, "but we can't get water, food, or shoes so what else can I do or say, hm?!"

Light groaned, sliding a hand through his hair.

"We'll just have to find other stands."

"I think we'll run into similar issues," L grumbled.

"Oh, I'm sorry! You have a better idea?!"

"It's hard to think when there's this annoying guy pacing and distracting me."

Light bared his teeth. After a few seconds, he sighed and sat next to L. He rested his head against the wall, looking up at a starless, inky black sky, the anger from before starting to diffuse.

"Sorry if I'm getting a bit testy," Light finally mumbled.

L gazed at him silently, analyzing and surprisingly soft. He nodded slowly.

"I'm hungry too," he whispered, swallowing thickly, "... and parched. After everything, I'd kill to sleep in a normal apartment with normal food and water." L shivered, closing his eyes. His lips twitched upwards. "And a nice hot shower... throw on a movie and curl up with my laptop..."

Light felt a pang of homesickness. He hummed in agreement, staring at the ground. His voice came out more croaky than he would have anticipated.

"I miss Sayu... I always joked about her being annoying, but... I miss her." Light brought his knees to his chest and hugged his legs, resting his chin on his knees. "Ryuzaki... how do you think time works on the train vs our world? If we ever get back, do you think only a moment would have passed, or... weeks?"

L didn't say anything at first, not wanting to consider the possibility. If he was gone for too long, Watari would select either Near or Mello to be the next L. There were no pictures of him, so truly the only one who'd mourn him would be Watari. L supposed... life would go on without him.

"There's no use torturing ourselves by speculating," L breathed.

"Mm."

They weren't sure how long they stayed there, listening to the bustling night market. Light blinked, realizing how... horrible... it would be if he was stuck on the train alone... even if his only companion was an asshole he wanted to kill, still. At least he wasn't alone.

Light paused when he heard a voice in the distance.

"Donut holers! Certified and approved by my close confidant, the conductor! Get your own donut holers!"

Light picked his head up, peering around the corner. It was hard to see among the snails moving and blocking his view. He exchanged a look with L, who shrugged helplessly and started forcing himself to his feet. Light did so as well and they followed the call, weaving among denizens.

They found themselves at a small crowd gathered. In the middle of the clearing was a regular-sized cat wearing a rather distinguished brown vest and sitting on a box, addressing the snails. L tilted his head curiously, leaning forward. Just looking at the cat, he could see a deep, cunning intelligence in those large yellow eyes. She held up a rusted, old pipe over a hat, aiming it for the center of the hat and continuing her presentation.

"Observe." She violently smashed in the end of the pipe into the hat, leaving a torn hole. "Presto! Donut. With the train-popular donut holer, you can turn any common item into a donut. Am I going too fast for you?"

Her voice was smooth, yet rumbled with a slight purr. L instantly profiled her as a con-artist... a trickster who knew how to play to crowds. Light's brow quirked.

"I guess that's The Cat..."

"I suppose I'll have to concur," L conceded.

They watched her quietly, observing the way she played to the crowd and got the snails genuinely interested in her 'donut holer'. After a few moments, her large golden eyes found them. Her ears pricked in interest, her tail flicking as she examined them quietly. She looked back over her customers, flashing a smile.

"If you'll excuse me, my associate Randall will take your orders!"

Water leaked out from beneath the box and stretched up into a vertical blob with a smiling face. L gaped, a part of wishing he could study the water. Hell, he'd give anything for the proper resources and supplies to study the train... as long as he wasn't trapped on it...

The Cat hopped off her box and padded up to them, inspecting them curiously.

"Handcuffed and scuffled Passengers with grass shoes... You two are an odd pair," she purred.

Light's brow quirked and he chuckled, crossing his arms.

"Surely we're not the weirdest thing in this car?"

She stared at him for a few seconds before huffing a short laugh, her lips curling.

"Matter of perspective, Kitten. Come, the two of you look hungry."

Their eyes widened, trying not to look too eager. L exchanged a glance with Light in silent understanding. There was something untrustworthy about her. Light returned the look with a slight nod.

 _We'll protect each other_.

* * *

The stand was much more like an outdoor restaurant, with tables and chairs set up around the stall. Four snails worked in the kitchen and cleaned the surrounding tables, taking orders and ringing up customers. The stand was near one of the busiest intersections, the noise making it hard for L and Light to hear their own thoughts.

A snail brought out their plates and the cat brightened.

"Merci!"

She tossed him some shells as he gently placed the food down.

Light salivated, his throat bobbing. Fuck, it looked so good. And the _smell_. He grabbed his fork, a part of him worried about some inter-dimensional rift or something taking away his dinner. L tried playing it a bit more cool, like he wasn't desperate. But after a bite of juicy, seasoned meat... his carefully constructed face went out the window. He dug into the meal, shoveling it into his mouth.

The Cat watched on in amusement. She cleaned her claws against her fur and inspected them lazily, not bothering to interrupt their meal.

Light forced himself to pause, not wanting to consume everything in one gulp. But he wanted to. God, he wanted to. Exhaling and trying to compose himself, he took a delicate sip of water. His eyes moved to her. If it wasn't for the vest and the fact that she could talk, he would've thought she was any regular cat. She sat on the table across from them, languidly licking her fur.

L swallowed and tapped his fork against the plate thoughtfully, his grey eyes lost in thought. He tilted his head.

"I take it you're the cat?... We've heard about you."

"That's The Cat, Kitten," she corrected airily, her gaze gleaming, "but, yes. I suppose that is me. And you are?"

Light nodded slowly and dipped his head respectfully.

"Our apologies... my name is Light." He grinned cordially.

The Cat touched a paw to her chin curiously.

"Light? Well what _kind_ of light, hm? Sunshine, lightbulb, fire?"

Beside him, L let out a snort.

"Oh yeah, everyone definitely calls him Sunshine. I'm Ryuzaki."

Light kicked him under the table, earning a satisfying but muffled yelp from the other. The Cat seemed unfazed, her tail swinging freely as she hummed.

"Light and Ryuzaki. Interesting. I can tell just by looking at a Passenger. You haven't been on the train for very long, hm?"

"Approximately four or five days," L murmured, taking a sip of water.

Light nodded his agreement. This seemed to peak her interest and she straightened, cocking her head.

"So you two came on the train already cuffed? Très intéressant. I'd be very interested in that story. After all..." She blinked innocently, "I _did_ buy you dinner."

L's brow quirked. _A true businesswoman_. He picked at his food, his fork dangling between his fingers. A part of him didn't want to tell her. Considering how quiet Light was, he guessed the other felt the same way. Light flashed one of his famously dazzling smiles.

"It's really a boring story... months filled with nothingness and just trying to find activities that wouldn't drive us insane." He laughed lightly.

The Cat chuckled. She made a show of rolling her eyes.

"Why, hm? Murdered someone? Coming across a Passenger who has murdered is a lot more common than you think."

L and Light blanched. Light's eyes went to his plate, a chill running up his spine. _Note to self, avoid Passengers._ She shrugged, her neck craning down as she licked at her own bowl of water.

"Secretive bunch. I can appreciate that." She looked up at them, eyes glittering, "Let me guess. You want information about the train. You're lost and confused and looking for help... I wish I could, Kittens. But you know what they say. Nothing comes free... especially not information... and I'm afraid you don't have anything of interest."

They looked at each other apprehensively. Of course. They had nothing to offer... L blinked and slowly leaned forward, a thumb going to his lips, his genius mind working.

"Everyone has _some_ problem. You don't have yours? The two of us are pretty smart, we can probably help."

The Cat's face stayed blank for a few seconds, before her lips curled.

"Hm. I like you. Now that you mention it, I have a vehicle that lets me travel on top of the train quickly. It's broken, and I'd fix it, but," she sighed, holding up a paw, "no opposable thumbs. Help a poor girl out?"

L's lips twitched.

"Of course. For a price, that is."

The Cat snorted softly and stretched languidly.

"Now you're speaking my language, Kitten."


	5. The Chess Car

They followed The Cat, weaving among snails until she stopped in front of a strange little vehicle. It was a ball sitting atop a stand, just big enough for The Cat to fit in... it was with intricate gold vines wrapping around it. When they glanced into the glass, they could see a mountain of red pillows and cat-specific controls like paw-scanners inside the vehicle. The Cat's tail flicked.

"My shuttlecraft. It helps me get around, but something's wrong. It won't start up. Here."

She hopped into her sphere and tossed them a manual. Light's brow quirked as he scooped it up, idly flipping through the pages. It was difficult to follow, intricate diagrams and writing so small that he had to squint. Light glanced at The Cat, holding up the manual.

"I think it's only fair we set terms before fixing your craft..." Light's lips twitched, "after all... how do we know you won't try just disappearing on us?"

L nodded, watching her carefully. The Cat's smile was slow and languid, her eyes glittering intelligently.

"It's a fair concern, Kitten. People will always try taking advantage of others."

She climbed to the top of her vehicle and curled up, her tail swishing as she rummaged through her vest's pocket. She gave a triumphant sound, holding up a stretched out pin.

"How about this for a deal, hm? I'll pick those handcuffs of yours. You'll help me with my craft, and then I'll go ask the conductor about getting you off the train." She held out the pin, "that way, if I mysteriously vanish, at least you still get _something_ out of the deal. Duly keep in mind that it'll still take a few weeks for me to get to the engine."

They stared at the pin and exchanged glances. L pursed his lips. He didn't trust her. Not for a fucking second. Light hummed in agreement, but he slowly nodded, squinting at her.

"Throw in 30 shells for us to get supplies for these 'few weeks' and it's a deal."

The Cat's brow quirked, but she blinked in concession, fishing out the money for them. L stuffed them in his pocket and he and Light held out a hand expectantly. Sighing, The Cat placed the pin in his outstretched palm and waited patiently while Light worked on the lock.

L gasped when the cuffs clattered to the ground. He touched his fingers to his wrist, marveling in the freedom. Light motioned to him.

"You take care of the supplies, I'll fix her craft."

L stiffened. Figures Light would want the well of information to himself and trying to take charge. And yet, L couldn't complain because then that'd make him the childish one. Or maybe his and Light's game didn't matter anymore... except on some level, it did. Especially since... L had never told Light about his number going down. He cursed inwardly, touching a hand to the spot. L gave a tight smile, stepping backwards.

"Sounds good."

He hadn't checked his number since the library. A part of him was afraid to. But he'd have to ask The Cat if he got the chance. Steeling himself, L slipped out among the snails and disappeared.

Light sat horizontal and slid beneath the vehicle, holding the manual up with one hand and starting to fiddle with wires with the other. The Cat dropped to the ground, watching in a quiet interest. Light gave her a sideways glance, careful about the tone of his voice.

"So. You must know a lot about the train."

"I do." She conceded with a purr.

Light nodded slightly. He smiled cordially, the friendliness practiced and rehearsed.

"Wow, you're pretty smart. I can't figure out this train for the life of me!"

The Cat's brow quirked, but she otherwise didn't say anything. It felt like forever before she sighed heavily.

"The train comes at a crossroads in your life, Kitten. A decision or action that'll drastically change your life. A child running away, another about to turn thief... the train helps people find their way."

Light glanced at her, blinking slowly. The next thing he said was completely genuine to him.

"... But I don't need to find my way. I was about to become a god. The train must've made a mistake."

The Cat stared at him, her yellow eyes captivating. She nodded slowly, humming in apology, although her voice dripped sarcastically.

"Oh yes, the train definitely made a mistake..."

Light ignored the tone in his voice, squinting at the manual and looking back at the circuitry with a grumble. He was having difficulty focusing though. A crossroad? He hadn't been at one! And then... what was L's crossroad? He yelped when the wires sparked.

"Damn, this is impossible."

But he continued, carefully attaching and looking through the wires. He glanced in The Cat's direction, biting his lip.

"It seems like we're going to be here a while... have you ever guided Passengers?"

Light tilted his head questioningly. It would be beneficial to have someone who knew the train so well... although he had a pretty good idea what her answer would be. The Cat blinked and let out a long, squeaky laugh. He fell back, rolling on her sides and wheezing, her brow quirked.

"Sorry, Kitten, you're on your own."

"Come on, you haven't guided any other Passengers?" Light asked sweetly, resting his chin in the cup of his hand.

The Cat hesitated, her ears twitching in uncertainty. She looked down at the ground, her voice soft.

"My last one... didn't turn out so well. He was a ten year old-"

Light's eyes snapped in her direction, wide and surprised.

"They can come on the train that young?"

The Cat winced and nodded, dragging her tongue along her paw.

"I've seen Passengers as young as six... they arrive alone and scared... and ill-equipped to survive the train."

She shuddered, avoiding Light's intensely curious gaze.

"That boy... I thought he died. And I never went back to check. It turned out he survived and he'd..." Her ears flattened, "lost his way."

She stared at the ground and Light sensed the conversation was over. At least she was done talking about it. Light nodded, continuing to work. He worked in silence for what felt like forever, just listening to the sounds around him. He was an adult who got stuck with someone he knew. To be such a kid... it must've been traumatic on so many levels.

"Did he ever make it back home?" Light whispered.

The Cat smiled sadly.

"Actually, he's around your age now... he grew up here. Last I knew, he was still on the train."

Years? Light stared at the wires, his heart racing. Years... years on this train... the thought made him sick to his stomach. He'd miss Sayu's graduation, his entire life...

"I don't understand. If the train's supposed to help people, then why is it so dangerous?"

The Cat sighed, stretching out languidly and inspecting her claws lazily.

"The train's not _for_ you. There's no car here that caters to you specifically. Think of it like a toolbox. It holds all the tools anyone could possibly need to work through their problems. With said tools, you could either create something beautiful... or seriously hurt yourself."

"But if the train wants-"

"Stop treating the train like it's alive," she practically snapped. The Cat sighed, composing herself. "The train doesn't care about you. It doesn't care if you live, die, solve your problems, or create new ones. It doesn't interfere if you become the best version of yourself or if you become cruel. The train will never 'save' you. It's possible to come here as a child and eventually die from old age."

Light craned his neck, unable to keep the fear from his eyes. Die from old age? Here...? Never. Light would do whatever it took to get home. He swallowed thickly, searching her face.

"... How do I get home?"

The Cat's tail swished, and her lips twitched upwards.

"Now, where would be the show in that, hm? If you're really a god, you should be able to figure it out."

Light's lips pursed. _Great. I wasn't **expecting** a Ryuk, but it's so **fucking** great I got one anyway_.

* * *

Light had just managed to fix the sphere when L came back. There was a new backpack slung over his shoulder, as well as sturdy shoes on his feet. His lips twitched as he held out sneakers for Light.

"I don't mean to brag, but my bargaining skills _are_ unmatched."

Light snorted, taking the new shoes. L rummaged through the backpack, showing the other their new supplies.

"A canteen filled with water that we can refill whenever, a bunch of nonperishables, and even a rudimentary first aid kit." L actually smiled proudly.

"Mon Dieu, you're quite the resourceful one," The Cat complimented.

L dipped his head.

"Je vous remercie. Je voyage beaucoup et j'ai appris à marchander."

Light's jaw tightened. He recognized it as French, but had no damn idea what they were saying. The Cat's face lit up at hearing the French.

"Tu parles français?"

"Oui. Douze langues."

"Impressionnant. Je peux parler cinquante."

L balked. Light sighed in exasperation and cleared his throat pointedly. L's smile faltered, his chest drumming in annoyance. He still had questions... he didn't get the alone-time that Light did! It was unfair! He tried opening his mouth again, but The Cat had seemed to move on, turning her back to him. He growled at Light, who simply grinned innocently. L made it a point to keep the bag on his shoulder. He was the one carrying it. Light's face soured for just a moment, but he remained quiet.

She smiled guiltily, hopping into her sphere. Her lips twitched as she hummed.

"Well, I hope I was able to help you a bit... because I fear I'm no help to you from now on."

They stiffened. L's eyes narrowed.

"You are going to talk to the conductor, right?"

"I can talk," she sighed dramatically, closing the glass around her. The Cat's lips curled, "the deal was that I'd talk... not that I could actually get you off the train. The truth is, Kittens, the conductor cares even less about Passengers than the train does."

The sphere whirred on and Light ground his teeth together as she held up a paw.

"Besides. It's impossible for the conductor to send you home."

The two blanched.

She snorted. The crown of the sphere turned and shot out, soaring above all the stands and snails. L and Light gasped, shouting in protest and trying to stop the shuttlecraft. The top of the sphere crackled though, and before they could say anything, it zipped up over the market... being attracted to the crown. They watched after her, their eyes narrowed and angry. Light gruffly crossed his arms, grumbling under his breath.

"Fucking hate cats... what were the two of you even talking about?!"

L rolled his eyes.

"Languages. She said she speaks fifty. I should be asking you that! Did you find out anything important?"

Light's jaw clamped. So came the natural desire for him to lie... to have the upper-hand. Knowing L, the detective probably had some secrets and lies up his sleeve as well. Light forced a shrug, moving for the car's exit.

"She was pretty cryptic and unhelpful."

L's brow quirked, but he nodded slowly. Fuck, he didn't believe that either. It was in their nature to lie and deceive. He was about to follow after Light, when he stepped on the handcuffs, gathering dirt. He stared down at them, debating, before he quickly stuffed them into the backpack, at the bottom. Just in case. L jogged after Light, ducking around denizens until they eventually made it to the door.

They stepped out and The Cat was already long gone, off to who-knew-where. At least it hadn't been a total loss... Light paused in front of the next door and sighed.

"Onwards, I guess."

L hummed in agreement, her words swirling around his brain. So the conductor couldn't help? What were they supposed to do? Aimlessly wander until they got some answers? L sighed, looking out over the wasteland. He shrank back when Light threw open the door.

They blinked.

The car was much smaller than the market. It was just a giant chess set with pieces as tall as them between their door and the exit. L released a breath in awe, running his fingers over a cool marble rook. Each piece was beautifully sculpted, hard rock that impressed him. L sighed, remembering his games with Near and Mello. Near had always been more reserved, always playing defense, whereas Mello had always been too quick and liberal in his sacrifices.

And his games with Light... well, those usually ended in a stalemate. Both of them knew just what to give and what to hold back to get the advantage. 

As such, usually neither of them won.

"Ah! A new challenger!" A voice boomed.

They straightened, instantly on alert. L and Light looked around in confusion, trying to pinpoint the voice. Their eyes slowly moved to the king opposite their color. The king was swaying on his square, making noises of interest. There wasn't any face or discernible mouth... but the voice definitely came from there.

"Yes, _two_ new challengers!" He giggled excitedly, bouncing on his square. The hard rock of his jumps made the entire board tremble and almost sent L and Light falling. His voice went coy and teasing. "Duly note that the door is locked and will remain locked until you beat me in a game! Who will win, I wonder? Will you be stuck here forever?!"

Locked doors? The doors could lock? Light stepped back, trying to open the door they'd just come through. It wouldn't budge... he gaped, looking between L and the king. Despite the fact they were trapped, L swirled a thumb around his lips, grey eyes lit with intrigue. A giant chess set... he glanced at Light, trying not to smirk.

"Well, as far as puzzles go, I'd say this is right up our alley, no?"

Light stared, examining the man's features. He fought a smile as he nodded definitively.

"No one stands a chance against us."


	6. The Galaxy Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: A bit of internalized homophobia.

"I think we should do a queen trade."

Light bristled at that, his gaze snapping in L's direction.

"What?! You want to sacrifice our _queen_?!"

L made a show of rolling his eyes.

"It's a valid strategic move... and it's not a sacrifice, it's a trade. Sometimes you must be willing to lose the strongest piece if it means winning the game."

Light threw his hands up in exasperation, arguing against L's logic. The entire game had been this way, each of them feeling like they knew what was best and how to win. Sometimes they were in unison, knowing which pieces to take and which to sacrifice. Light found himself wishing this game was between the two of them instead of with this weird king figure. If it was just him and L, he'd pummel the detective with his skills. L straightened defiantly, his jaw squared confidently. He would never suggest such a move if he didn't find benefit in it. And the fact that Light was questioning his logic was honestly insulting.

The king on the other side of the board listened, humming nervously. His quivering made the entire board tremble.

"U-um, boys? It's-it's just a game."

"Shut up," they both snarled in unison.

The king cowered quietly, wisely deciding to hush up.

Light pointed an accusatory finger at L's chest, growling darkly.

"I think it's a bad move. The queen's our best offense and defense."

"Our king is in a vulnerable position. We need his queen!"

"Retreat the queen, or so help me I will-"

"You'll _what_? Punch me?! That's worked _so_ well for you in the past."

L took a challenging step towards Light, his teeth bared. Light met the expression, his blood sparking dangerously. A queen trade was definitely risky, presenting benefits and pitfalls. They glared at each other, and Light realized for the first time how close they were... so close that he could practically feel L's angry, hot breath. He quickly pushed the thought out of his mind and huffed, making a show of crossing his arms.

"Fine. But when we lose, don't come crying to me."

"I won't," L replied gruffly.

He grunted as he pushed the tall stone queen, throwing what little weight he had into the piece. The thing was easily a head taller than him and made of pure marble. L ground his teeth with the effort while Light purposefully leaned against one of their pawns, watching with a small smirk. L wanted to kick those perfect teeth in. The king looked between the two of them, still cowering. He wasn't sure if he'd ever met two Passengers who were so fierce. He briefly considered not taking the queen trade they'd offered, but realized they'd probably smash him to pieces. The king chuckled nervously, sending his queen to kill theirs.

Light sighed as he watched their queen shatter. Pebbles littered the floor and smoke curled as the opponent's queen swung a sword clean through their own. Finally deciding to help L again, the two of them shoved their rook against the offending queen.

The rook killed her as well in retaliation. Inspecting the board, L nodded to himself. Light hated to admit it, but in the long-term, the move did help them. Getting rid of the opponent's queen meant two of their pieces could suddenly move freely. It allowed their rook to get behind enemy lines and absolutely slaughter the king's side from behind. Light watched the carnage as rocks flew into the air, marble cracked and exploded, showering the board with debris.

L winced, shaking some dust out of his hair. The king made a panicked sound, trying to salvage the situation, but it was no use. L and Light managed to corner him in with their rooks, interchanging them until they had the piece at a checkmate.

The king yelped, looking down the board at the two rooks signaling his doom.

"Hold on here, let's just think for a minute-"

One of the rooks shot forward, decapitating the denizen. The stone head collided into the ground, leaving a large impact mark that spiderwebbed across the board. Light flinched at the sound of it hitting, but inhaled sharply.

There was a key resting in its neck where the head had been detached. L carefully stepped over the head, trying not to look down at it as he grabbed the key and held it to the light.

"Do you think the game will reset when we leave the car?"

Light hummed thoughtfully, rolling his shoulders.

"I can't see how it won't. A new key must be spawned for the next Passenger."

L nodded, quickly moving to insert the key into the door. Turning the handles, he sighed in relief when the two red doors swung open and the arid air of the wasteland hit his face. L motioned towards Light.

"I guess we won't be around to find out."

Light's lips twitched, but he nodded, following after L. For all their bickering, the chess car was a lot more fun than he gave it credit for. His brain loved the puzzle, urging him to find out more. To explore and challenge his mind. When L reached the next door, Light slowly touched the train's metal, shivering in awe at how much the vehicle vibrated. L paused, watching him curiously. Now that the adrenaline had mostly worn off for him as well, L found he was eager to learn. This train... it went against everything in the universe, making it single-handedly the most intriguing thing L had ever come across.

"How do you think it runs?" Light pondered, "coal? Electricity?"

It seemed like any answer he provided was insufficient. Mundane and boring. Not worthy of the train. L considered, listening to the rattling of the coupling and examining the large platform.

"I don't know," he admitted.

One would've thought he'd be frustrated at not knowing. And to a certain degree, he was. But he couldn't help the shiver of excitement at the prospect of the mystery. Light straightened, his lips tugging upwards.

"Sorry. Just speculating."

"Don't apologize... I get it."

Of course L did. Light was sure no one else in the world would understand. They made their way into the car and absolutely balked.

It was like a mini galaxy. There wasn't any solid ground, and they were surrounded by thousands of stars. L gaped, his heart jumping at just how... beautiful it was... Light swept out a hand into the darkness, blinking when his shirt's sleeve tugged upwards.

"No gravity," he murmured, his eyes wide.

No gravity? Excitement shot up L's spine. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen anything so beautiful... and he'd get to fly in it?

He took a cautious step into the inky ocean of nothingness, his pulse racing nervously for just a moment. L's foot left the doorway and he gasped, floating in mid-air. It was incredible... being suspended in the sky and surrounded by the small, glowing stars. He let out a soft laugh, holding his arms out as if that'd give him any support.

Light bit his lip, his eyes darting around the car. The door was in the distance, sitting on top of a rocky pedestal. The only solid thing in the car.

Inhaling deeply, he pushed off the doorway and into no gravity. Light gasped, the feeling unnatural and alien. Even with swimming in water, one's body is always touching something. Here... he was floating completely in nothingness, twisting and dipping. Light fought a smile, hesitantly reaching out to one of the stars. It didn't react to being touched, and he didn't really feel anything, but it didn't diminish the thing's beauty. L grunted, struggling to move and feeling suspended there. Light could help a chuckle, attempting his own ungraceful swim towards the other.

He tried stopping, but couldn't. Light winced as he crashed into L, sending the two of them careening and turning circles. Without thinking, he quickly wrapped his arms around L, trying to steady both of them as they kept flipping and spinning. Light shivered, his vision blurring. His stomach turned on him, gurgling threateningly and suddenly not finding any of this fun anymore.

L craned his neck downwards, blinking at the feeling of Light clinging to him. He clung back, not sure how to stop the two of them from spinning. Swallowing thickly, L gasped when his back hit something and they bounced off. Twisting to look, he realized they'd bounced off the door they'd entered through. It was still open, the two doors swinging lazily. The bump did make them stop spinning though, allowing them to peacefully float in the direction of the other door.

Light didn't let go though, his heart still pounding. Even though he knew he hadn't been in any danger, losing control like that... unable to move his own body and being at the mercy of literal nothingness... he adverted his eyes, not even caring that he was still latched on to L in an awkward hug.

L sensed the other's turbulent emotions and hesitantly put a hand to Light's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

He meant it genuinely... wanted to make sure Light was okay... Light searched his gaze, those dark amber eyes cryptic and unrevealing. L's tongue went heavy in his mouth. Their lips were so close... everything about him was so close and it was so dark. Why did he have the urge to press his lips to Light's? Here in the dark, where everything had an almost dream-like quality... to the point where L wondered if he was actually asleep. Light stared at him, his throat thick. L's lips looked so thin yet... warm... Light inadvertently tightened his grip, scanning his enemy's face. Why did his enemy's face have to look like that?

"Yeah," he breathed, his insides twisting.

L nodded slowly, those large grey eyes still too close for comfort. Light was about to open his mouth again, when they passed over the rock pedestal and gravity seemed to turn back on. They yelped, crashing to the hard floor in front of the door and groaning, pain blossoming where they'd impacted. Light realized they were sprawled together, their limbs tangled. He quickly retreated, standing and pointedly brushing himself off.

"Interesting car," he said flippantly, swinging the doors open.

L was still on the ground in a daze, remembering how close they were. How well he was able to see that sculpted face, even in the dark. His sluggish heart beat a little faster, and he found his neck growing warm. Clearing his throat, L nodded and pushed past Light, quietly stalking across the bridge, his skin prickling.

Light quietly followed, neither of them saying a word. He hated how his blood itself seemed to feel itchy. Like it was on fire and needed to be put out. But he ignored it, staring at the ground. That was ridiculous. He wasn't attracted to L in any way. He wasn't gay! He was currently in a relationship with Misa. Light had to stop himself from groaning. Okay, maybe thinking about Misa didn't exactly help the problem. But the point still stood. He. Wasn't. Gay.

Neither spoke as L opened the next doors. He hesitantly looked at Light, appearing as though he wanted to say something. Instead, he disappeared into the next car, adjusting the backpack.

* * *

Time really did seem to lose meaning. Some cars were shrouded in night, others seemingly endless days. They traveled from car to car, keeping stock of their rations and exploring the different environments and denizens they came across.

If L had to guess... he'd say weeks had passed. Maybe three or four. Sometimes they'd go long stretches of cars without food, other times they'd find miles of cars with nothing but food and water.

The train was as beautiful as it could be terrifying. L lost count of how many times they ran for their lives, tearing through the car and slamming the doors behind them.

For each danger was a marvel though. So L supposed it was an okay tradeoff. He'd even gotten to recording their encounters in a journal, documenting everything he found and researching some of the denizens they came across. Many denizens offered to accompany them on their travels to provide companionship, but L and Light always politely declined. What they were doing at the moment was keeping them alive. Besides, they'd be constantly worrying about any companion they took on, always fearing it'd meet its end and its family wouldn't know what happened to it.

They came to a sort of rhythm, to the point where sometimes it felt like they knew what the other wanted without saying anything. L supposed there were worse people to be stuck on the train with.

They entered a car that looked like an old bookshop, except the books were alive and flapping around, chattering and gossiping. While Light entered the maze of shelves to look for the exit, L rolled up his sleeve. His brow furrowed slightly. His number had gone down by five. When had that happened? L pursed his lips, a foreboding feeling in his chest. Why? He quickly pushed his sleeve back down, trying to tell himself out of sight, out of mind. Why stress himself out? Hm. Maybe he was just scared to think about it.

Light came back saying he found the way to the next car.

As they exited, they heard the familiar sound of a car making its way over the train. Sure enough, one of them shot over and moved down in place in front of them.

Upon entering it, they froze.

It was an origami car, but... the denizens were destroyed, shredded to a million pieces. Paper littered the ground, paper birds twitching in agony. Light's eyes widened as he bent, gently poking at one of the birds. The wing was crumpled and stepped on. He slowly cupped his hands around it, gently bringing it up. It let out an alarmed sound, shaking in his grip. He carefully held it protectively to his chest.

"Who would do something like this?" He breathed.

L shook his head slowly, looking over the carnage. There was a sick feeling in his stomach, deep and ugly as his eyes widened a fraction.

"Up ahead."

"Hm?"

"... This car. How far up ahead do you think it came from?"

Light's skin crawled as the prospect and implication. As far as he knew, it was impossible to tell how far up the train the car had come from. It could've been years down the line, or ten cars over. He chewed his lip.

"I don't know."

L exhaled, his nostrils flaring worriedly.

Somewhere ahead of them was something willing to shred paper denizens, stomp and hurt them for what looked like no reason. And the carnage spread throughout the whole car, indicating... whoever did it was having fun. He sank his teeth into his thumb until he tasted blood, hoping that whatever happened was years away.


	7. The Swamp Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Implied past physical abuse.

The two sat around their fire. They'd decided to make camp in a car full of building-tall flowers, making them feel like ants. Light held out the little origami bird, feeling it still shiver in his hands as he inspected the wing. It chirped in alarm when he gently gripped and smoothed out the injury. He found that he genuinely wanted to help it. As a benevolent god, it was his duty to protect the innocent.

L watched on in interest, hugging his knees to his chest.

"You think you can help it?"

Light hummed thoughtfully.

"I haven't done origami since I was a kid, but... hopefully?"

Neither was sure how long they stayed there, until the bird gave an experimental flap. There were still faint creases in its wing, looking like scars but hopefully flat enough for it to fly. Light held it up, inspecting the little bird. It gave a grateful tweet, nuzzling Light's fingers, drawing a small smile from the man. Light was barely aware of a slight tingling on his arm, but it wasn't enough to concern him as he turned the bird over in his hand, holding his arm out. He was prepared for it to fly away, but blinked in surprise when it didn't.

L's lips twitched and he hummed.

"Hm. Looks like you made a new friend."

Light snorted. His cheeks heated though, not expecting the bird to actually _stay_. He carefully ran a finger over its head, chuckling when it cooed softly.

"Huh... I guess so... I guess it needs a name, hm?"

L rested his chin in the cup of his hand, trying not to smile.

"How about something ironic? Like Shred or Tear?"

Light's brow quirked, and he couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped. Holding the bird up, he bit his lip.

"That's so mean... but I'm particular to Scrap?"

"Scrap..." L actually chuckled, the fire making his grey eyes dance silver and golden warmth.

Light swallowed, nodding in affirmation. The name was definitely a bit mean... but there was something about it he liked. His eyes wandered back in L's direction, at how the fire made him glow. He quickly pushed all of those thoughts out of his mind, settling down. Scrap hopped onto his chest, nuzzling and folding into his body heat. Light watched the small bird quietly, gently petting with his fingers every once in a while. It was a beautiful marvel... if anything, being in that car simply reaffirmed his resolve.

Kira was needed. In the world, on the train... humans were rotten creatures who wished to spread their rot, corrupting anything beautiful and pure. How could L not see how needed Kira was? He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to let sleep take him. This train... had left him without what made him a god. It'd taken away his power and now innocents like Scrap were suffering. Light tried to fall asleep, telling himself there was nothing he could do.

* * *

L's nose wrinkled at the horrible-smelling swamp that lay before them.

It had become second-nature at this point for him to fish out his journal and start recording, his pen scratching along.

"Okay... Swamp Car. Seems pretty large. At least large enough that we can't see the exit right away."

Light nodded, gingerly trying to find solid ground to step in. But it was all mud. Sinking, trapping mud surrounded by filthy water. Scrap flew from Light's shoulder, landing on top of his scalp and chirping in alarm.

The swamp was spooky, a thick mist covering the area and hiding their line of sight. It blocked out most of the sunlight, leaving them chilled. L carefully stepped along some tree roots, his eyes darting as creeps raced along his spine. Light was the one to stop them, holding up a hand and motioning towards a sign.

In poorly scrawled, giant letters were the words 'Beware the Swamp Sirens. They show your deepest desires'. Light leaned forward and recoiled, his voice a hiss.

"Blood... the message's written in blood."

L shrank back, his eyes narrowed and on high-alert. His gaze flickered over the distorted shapes and shadows, wishing he could be anywhere but here... his entire being was teeming, warning him of danger. They continued cautiously, until even the door they'd come through was well out of sight.

Light froze when he heard a soft singing. It carried over the eerily still water, leaving him tense and nervous. The sirens...? Fuck no... but the singing grew louder. He instinctively moved closer to L.

"You know martial arts, right?"

"Capoeira," L whispered, trying to look for the source of the singing.

They were so caught up in the sounds that they didn't notice the vines slowly creeping along the trees, edging in their direction.

The vines shot out, wrapping around L. He gave a cry of surprise, struggling against the binds. Light gasped, instantly trying to tear the vines to shreds, but it wasn't working. More just kept shooting out and wrapping around L, squeezing against his torso and pinning his arms to his sides. His feet swung out wildly, but soon, those were being held together too. L spat out curses, squirming desperately and roaring. Light kept pulling at the vines, digging into them with his fingers.

L gave some panicked sounds, his eyes locking with Light's. His voice was so small and terrified that it caught Light off-guard.

"Light... h-help-"

One of the vines snaked up L's neck and slithered into his ear. L gasped, his face twisting in terror. Light's eyes widened in horror as L went limp in the vines' grips. Light tried stepping away, but a whole new set of vines ensnared him. He screamed, bucking and wrenching his arms. It was all useless. They were stronger than he would've ever anticipated. Light shrieked, fear clouding his vision. Scrap jumped off Light's head in a panic, flapping towards the top of the nearest tree.

"Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki!"

A vine found its way into his ear as well, slimy and wet, writhing and slowly sinking in deeper. Light whimpered, rendered completely immobile as his vision spotted and faded. The sign said the sirens would show him his deepest desire... at least he'd get to see his perfect world before he died...

* * *

L's eyes fluttered open, trying to get a bearing on his surroundings.

He was in a child's room... little model airplanes hanging from the ceiling. L shifted on the bed and yawned, stretching. How old was he...? He had the vague thought that he was in his mid-twenties, but quickly shook his head. That was ridiculous! He was five years old! Yes. That sounded about right. L faltered when he smelled a delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen. He blinked, tugging his blanket tightly around his shoulders and slowly but quietly moving out his bedroom's door and down the hall.

He stepped into the kitchen and froze.

His parents were moving about the kitchen, talking and laughing as they prepared food. _They look exactly how I always imagined they would_... L swayed on his feet, his thoughts muddled. Imagined? Why did he feel like he'd never met them before? They were standing right there! His mother with her long black hair tied into a braid, looking at his father with warm grey eyes. And his father... brown hair with soft blue eyes that made L smile. Yes. These were his parents.

Not figures he'd dreamt up when he was little, never having known his real parents... not that at all...

"Elly-boy! Up already? Dinner's not ready yet." His father beamed.

L stared at him. Something felt... off... about the whole situation. He swallowed thickly and shook his head, clearing it of such thoughts. Instead, his eyes misted and he sniffled, burrowing into his blanket.

"Mummy... Daddy..." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I had a nightmare!"

His mother gasped and before he knew it, she was hugging him, tenderly running a hand through his strands. L sagged into her grip, burying his little face into the crook of her neck and sobbing. His father enveloped the two of them, kissing the top of L's head.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Kiddo," he whispered, "you want to talk about it?"

L's sobs came out in ragged breaths. Hugging his mother, he trembled from what must've been a nightmare.

"No one knew who the two of you were!" L closed his eyes, his head aching. He felt a touch more... lucid. "I-I was simply found living in abandoned warehouse when I was three... I think- I think my mum had... disappeared... I never found out what happened to her or remembered what she looked like... I was taken to some random man's home a-and they called him my fost-fost..."

"Foster father?" His mother breathed.

He nodded tearfully.

His mother smiled, making him feel warm. She gently touched his cheek.

"Baby... you know I'd never let anything like that happen to you. Ever."

L's lip quivered.

"Y-you have to promise! It was so scary, and... he hurt me." Tears kept falling, but he frantically wiped at them. "He hurt me so badly."

He was enveloped again. A hug that made him feel safe and loved. His mother kissed the top of his head.

"I promise... Now! Who wants to make cookies?"

L's face lit up. He nodded rapidly, following her into the kitchen and giggling as his father hoisted him so he could help to make the dough.

* * *

Candlelight illuminated the room in a romantic glow. Light groaned, his head feeling stuffed as he slowly turned it. He could feel lips pressed to his jaw, sloppily moving along it and softly nipping at the skin. Pleasure flared in his body and he pressed into the mouth, his fingers tangling through dark hair.

L rolled on top of him, his lighter weight pressing down on Light, but he didn't mind. Light examined the other, his lover half-hidden beneath the sheets. But his top half was out, pale, bony and intricate as L brought his shoulder up, making him look delicate. He looked at Light, his eyes like mirrors that both reflected and trapped. Light was hypnotized by them, wanting every inch of L.

He moaned quietly, grinding his hips against L's. Light could feel the other's member pressed to his thigh, L's long fingers tangling throughout Light's strands. The man's voice was low and luscious, sending Light's entire body quivering.

"I want to ride you, Kira," he whispered breathlessly, "Use me... just fuck me."

Shivers pulsed Light's fingers, electricity just beneath his skin. He turned the two of them around, spreading L's hair around his head like a dark halo. L's large eyes were soft, his pupils dilated in desire and... love... Light's neck craned down so he was nuzzling that thin neck, taking the skin between his teeth. L tasted amazing. _Every inch. I need him._ L keened with a positively sinful moan, his fingers latching into Light's shoulder blades.

"Oohhh... _Light_... _fuck_ , yes. Use me... I want you to fucking use me until I'm spent, Master."

Light stopped. He blinked, the world taking on that same haziness. _Master_...? He swayed, trying to get his grip on reality. Okay, okay. He was here with L. His lover. So then... why did it all feel so... wrong? L reached up, gently cupping a hand against Light's cheek. Tenderness bled through the man's gaze, his skin like smooth porcelain in the low light.

"Light... I love you."

"But..." Light massaged his brow. "... You called me Master..."

"I did... it's what you want." L purred. He brought Light closer, leaving feathery kisses along the shell of Light's ear.

Light gave a short laugh, everything around him warping and bubbling.

"Y-yeah... I'd love for you to call me Master... but you'd never." Light swallowed thickly, his voice barely above a breath. "Ryuzaki would never."

L's tongue darted out, licking around the ear. Light gasped softly, feeling himself slipping. The dream-like spotting of the candles mixed with L's actions and noises were making it easier and easier to dip back down, to just let go of his suspicions. This was L, after all. His lover.

Something light hit against his forehead. Light's brow scrunched feeling the object. The thought came before he could register it. _Scrap_. Scrap was... bouncing off his forehead... all at once, the world tilted and lost focus. L's eyes flashed in concern and he held the sides of Light's face.

"Love?" He whispered worriedly, "are you alright...? You don't want to stay here with me? I can be whatever you desire."

"No. I-"

Light scrambled off the bed. Off of L. When the apparition stood to follow, Light averted his eyes, his breathing going heavy.

"This isn't my greatest desire! M-my desire's to be the god of a new world no one fears!"

His voice sounded unsure though. The apparition tilted his head, his lips twitching.

"You're lying to yourself," he whispered, eyes glinting, "Figures a master of lying can even trick his own mind. But there are no tricks with me. I see into the deepest parts of your soul..."

He kept advancing and it took all Light had not to look at the other's naked body... lithe muscles... a lean frame that was both delicate and powerful... He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his ears and trying to drown out the siren.

"No! This is my desire!" He yelled, his nostrils flaring, "I want to _kill_ L! I want him **_dead_**!"

"You want me in every sense of the word." 

" _No! I don't! Leave me alone!_ "

Light's eyes flew open and the first thing he sensed was the swamp's stench.

He blinked and groaned, rolling his head. Scrap was still bouncing off of it, his chirps high and alarmed. Light looked down to see the vine in his ear had fallen out and all the ones holding him had gone brittle and dead. They cracked and shattered as he fought to escape, falling onto unsteady legs. But he was okay. Light stumbled, his vision swimming. What... his head pounded with pain, his muscles aching.

Looking beside him, he faltered.

The vines wrapped around L were healthy. Better than healthy, they seemed to be growing in both length and thickness. The vine was still deep in the man's ear... and Light could see dark veins stretching along the side of L's face, popping and ugly against the paleness. _It's eating him from the inside out while he's in his greatest fantasy_... He shivered. Light was about to step forward, when he stopped himself. That vision... it was wrong. He didn't care about L! L wasn't his greatest desire!

So why did he have the overwhelming need to save him?

Light swallowed thickly, tripping away from the other, swamp water soaking his pants and going into his shoes. His breathing quickened, everything around him still hazy. H-he didn't need L to survive! He could do it himself!

Turning, he ran, fear leading him more than rational thought. L-leaving L would free Kira... it was a necessity. Besides... h-he'd already been planning on killing the man. Light's heart pounded in his ears as he scrambled through the swamp, whimpering and tearing through brush, frantically looking for the exit.

 _I'm sorry, Ryuzaki_.


	8. The Mineshaft Car

Light ran, his heart racing a million miles a second. He saw the exit up ahead and sighed from relief, waddling unsteadily. Vines curled around trees, almost as if watching him and daring him to leave. He tripped, but didn't let that stop him. Adrenaline and fear led the way. He was about to grip the door's handles when Scrap zoomed in front of him, blocking him. Light gasped, his eyes narrowing.

"Get out of my _way,_ " he growled.

When Scrap didn't move, Light's hand shot out and gripped the little bird, holding it close to his face. His voice was soft, but dangerous.

"I'm not afraid to hurt those who get in my way... _Move._ "

Scrap quivered in his grip. Light could feel a tingling all over his torso, had ever since he started running. Breathing heavily, he rode his shirt up. All of the numbers were changing, shifting upwards. He quickly looked at his forearm where the number ended to see it had gone up another two rows down his arm. _It's going up?_ Light stared at the little glowing numbers, his heart palpitating. The numbers could change? Did L know?

_Knowing him, he probably did._

He hissed out a breath, hesitating. Scrap chirped pleadingly, squirming in his grip. Blinking in a daze, Light let go. He looked behind him, at the dreary swamp. The fog was so thick that he couldn't even see L anymore. He hugged his arms in consideration, his eyes flickering. Looking back at Scrap, he hummed.

"I'm just doing this because Ryuzaki still has all the supplies."

Scrap flapped its wings, zooming happily around Light's head. Ignoring the bird, Light waded back in the direction he'd come from, grabbing a large, pointy stick and holding it protectively like a bat. He could feel eyes on him as he treaded through the murky water.

* * *

L sat, curled up in his mother's body heat, a serene smile on his lips. His father had put on some music, giving the entire house a peaceful feeling. It was a soothing lull that made his eyelids heavy, his entire body feeling like lead. It was curious… he really did feel exhausted. More than he probably should've been. He looked up at his mother, his bangs slipping against his face.

She met his gaze with a loving expression, so beautiful and sweet that it made L's eyes mist. Mist? Why was he crying? Why did this feel so foreign? Sniffling, he buried his face into her chest.

He was so tired.

A gentle hand ran through his hair.

"Sleep," she whispered reassuringly. "I'll be here when you wake up. You don't have to deaden your heart to protect yourself anymore."

His eyes fluttered, the sweet release of sleep calling him, the world going hazy. L's eyes went sluggish, looking up at the distorted face above him. He tilted his little head, his voice small and desperate.

"Say that you love me..."

"I love you." She smiled warmth and tenderness.

L shivered, trying to remember the last time anyone had told him that. As far as he could remember... he'd never heard the words directed towards him. L nodded slowly, ready to be dragged under.

* * *

Light froze, his face falling. He hadn't been gone for long and already L looked much worse. The vines practically encompassed him, the only visible part being his head. Even then, there was still the vine in his ear and a new vine had entered the man's mouth... The popping black veins completely covered his face, looking like intermittent shadows on his pale skin. His eyes which had been closed before were open and glassy, his gaze glazed over and unblinking. A part of him wondered if L was already dead. Light stared, not even sure where to begin in saving the other.

He stepped forward cautiously, taking the vine in his ear and giving it a harsh tug.

L's head tipped back and he shrieked in agony, letting out a choked sob. Light gasped, jumping back as if he'd been burnt. Tears streamed down the corners of L's eyes, fighting their way down the bridge of his nose. But as soon as Light let go, the man slumped, his head rolling forward and quiet again.

Light swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He had to snap L out of it... Moving towards the other, Light grasped the man's hair and held L's head up straight, grabbing his cheek. He could see his own reflection in the man's eyes.

"Ryuzaki!" He yelled right into his face.

When L didn't respond, Light cursed under his breath. He grasped the sides of L's face, shaking him.

"Ryuzaki! Wake up!"

* * *

L snuggled against his mother, his ear resting over her heart. He could hear the steady beats, making him sway sleepily. He could almost distantly hear someone screaming for him, but he dropped the thought when she gently touched his cheek, her eyes shining adoringly.

"Guess what, Baby! Tomorrow, we're going to go get ice cream with Beyond!"

L brightened. He'd always wanted nothing more than to be Beyond's friend! He squirmed, but the yelling voice kept worming into his brain, interfering with his thoughts. Beyond...

But...

He stared at her, the world warping slightly. How did she know about Beyond...? How did he know Beyond? Who was Beyond? L gripped the armrest, his vision swimming uncomfortably. N-no, he didn't want to be Beyond's friend, the guy was unstable! But then again, didn't he? _It's not real_.

No! No, it had to be real! The nightmare couldn't have been the real one! L gripped the sides of his head, feeling sick to his stomach.

"L?" She cooed.

He flinched, looking up at her with wide eyes. The voice in the back of his mind was getting louder... more insistent and scared. He recognized that voice, didn't he?

 _Light_.

Light. All at once, flashes filled his mind. Images of Light. So many confusing memories, swirling and threatening to drown him...

L gasped, his eyes flying open. Even though the light was filtered through fog, it was too bright, making him give a panicked sound. He was shaking so badly. Light inhaled sharply, stiffening when he saw the vines go dry and brittle. They cracked, sending L crashing forward. The man started to tumble like a ragdoll before Light enveloped him, keeping him upright. L groaned, his senses sensitive and still not calibrated, everything assaulting him. He was still in the headspace of a little kid, everything surrounding him nightmarish and overwhelming.

"Mummy? Daddy?" He called out weakly, his eyes rolling back, "take me back... I'm sorry!"

He'd done something wrong to deserve this, hadn't he? He trembled in the other's grip, whimpering.

Light looked on in a quiet shock. Tears had welled in L's eyes, making his grey eyes glassy and reflective. Something... protective... welled up in Light's chest. He slung one of L's arms around his shoulders, holding the other up in a strange sort of hug. L clung to him, and Light was certain he'd never seen the man more vulnerable before.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

L let out a soft cry, shaking his head and stumbling.

"I want my mummy..."

The other didn't respond. L's parents? Was that what the man saw? Light was shocked by twinges of sympathy that stabbed his stomach. It seemed like such a simple dream. No wonder the man wanted to return to it.

"Y-yeah. Don't worry about it, okay? Just focus on getting out."

L whined, hiding his face into the crook of the other's shoulder. Light tensed, sensing a million gazes still watching him, but he forged ahead, being mindful of his surroundings. L's head bobbed with every movement, his feet dragging behind him. He was on the verge of passing out and didn't have the wherewithal to force himself conscious. Light practically dragged him, shoving him out of the car. He slammed the doors behind them, his grip wavering. That was insane. Why the fuck did he go back for L?

L landed hard on is front, staring at the old metal and the wasteland in the distance. He stayed in that position, feeling the wind whip through his hair. His eyes misted, everything in his body hurting.

_"Ryuzaki?"_

The voice was distant. L hugged himself, curling into a little ball on the platform.

 _It wasn't real_. His eyes fluttered.

* * *

When L next woke up, he could feel the heat and hear the crackling of a campfire. He'd been wrapped up in a makeshift blanket. Even so, his body was still shivering. His eyes sluggishly moved in Light's direction.

Light was roasting something. Some animal. He glanced at L and held up the skewer with a wince.

"I was hungry."

L didn't respond, his eyes slowly going over the car. They were in a gigantic mineshaft, dark and a nice temperature. It shrouded them in darkness, but as far as L could hear, there weren't any other sounds coming from down the tunnel. He slowly sat up, groaning as his head pounded and his ears rang. Pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders, he stared at the fire quietly, his eyes despondent. His parents had been ripped away from him. Again. _A poor little orphan with no one to love him_. L shrank.

Light watched, not saying anything for the longest time. Clearing his throat, he hugged his knees. He meant for his voice to sound authoritative, but it sounded so small to his ears.

"My number... it went up... and then down."

Sighing, Light rode up his sleeve. Where his number had originally been on his forearm, it was now only up to the shoulder. L looked at him, those owlish eyes large and curious, the sadness temporarily put on hold. He hesitated, fiddling with the hem of the blanket. Finally, he hummed, pushing up his sleeve to reveal his shoulder.

"My number hasn't gone up, but it has gone down."

Light's brow quirked.

"You didn't think this was important to mention?"

L quietly rolled the sleeve back down. There were still exhaustion lines under his eyes, but he managed a harsh glare in the younger's direction.

"And what about you? You spent all that time with The Cat. Am I really supposed to believe you learned nothing useful?"

Light swallowed thickly, trying not to wince. He sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"This train... apparently it comes at a crossroad in our lives."

"... I see." L whispered, hunching in on himself and taking in the new information. A crossroads? It was fairly easy to imagine Light having one, but him? He had his whole life figured out. His eyes went to his hand, to the glowing numbers that illuminated his face. "What were you doing when your number changed?"

Light's face tinged red, not wanting to admit that he'd been intent on leaving the man behind. He cracked off a leg from the animal, offering it. L didn't take the offering.

"... Leaving you. It went up when I left you and down when I went back."

There wasn't any surprise on the older's face at the notion that Light left him. That was almost... annoying... to Light. He wondered how L could be so infuriating without saying anything. The man didn't care that Light had almost left him to die? L nibbled on his thumb, watching the flames dance thoughtfully.

"Intriguing. Mine seems to be more random. In the library, I was just sitting there and then I didn't check it again until randomly and saw it'd gone down another five in the weeks we've been here."

Light leaned back, nodding in interest.

"So you've known numbers can change since the library?"

L didn't respond.

Huffing a short laugh, Light nodded, angrily biting into the meat.

"I should've left you to become plant food," he grumbled.

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of chances to leave me behind," L replied flippantly, his emotions carefully guarded.

Light glared, and his brow rose quizzically. Damn with that same fucking cryptic expression. He sneered, his voice a growl.

"Maybe you'd like that. Maybe you want to spend more time with 'mummy and daddy'."

L froze. For the first time, Light could see flickers of emotion. Of pain, embarrassment and sadness. He recognized it was a low blow, but in that moment, he couldn't make himself care. He just wanted to evoke _some_ emotion in L. His number ticked up another seven digits. To his dismay though, L simply rolled onto his side, giving Light his back.

"Just leave me alone."

Light wanted to argue. He bit his lip, remembering his own vision. The siren must've been mistaken. There were many things in the world he desired. L was not one of them.

They continued onwards, the air tense and thick between them. L still felt a bit sick, unsteady on his feet and always needing to take a break. He hated this so much. After about a week of pure silence and awkward tension, Light glanced at him curiously.

"So... I take it you're an orphan?"

L glared. Personal information was dangerous. Although... his parents were already dead. And Light wouldn't be able to find out about Wammy's... L nodded slowly.

"I was young. I don't know anything about them."

Light nodded. He couldn't imagine not having his family. Everything he was...

"I'm sorry to hear that. No one deserves that."

And he was being genuine. L. His enemy. The first real friend he'd ever had. Light despised that he wanted to comfort the man as much as he wanted to kill him. L watched warily, nodding slowly.

"Thank you... I wish they shared the same sentiment." He chuckled humorlessly. L bit his lip. "Is there any point in me asking about your fantasy?"

Of course, he was assuming Kira. As such, he doubted Light would ever tell him. Light's cheeks tinged pink, his skin flushed. His pupils dilated at the memory and L's eyes widened, his genius brain picking up on all the subtle changes.

"Sex."

Light started.

"What?!"

"You totally fantasized about sex," L declared, gaping and trying not to smirk.

Light scowled, crossing his arms.

"Did not!"

"What, your biggest dream is to lose your virginity?" L snorted.

Light scoffed, his features twisting.

"Fuck you, I'm not a virgin."

"Mhm," L chuckled teasingly.

"I'm not!" Light roughly pushed L's arm, but the detective was unfazed.

"Uh huh, Light, whatever you say."

"Goddamn, I'm going to strangle you."

"Should I take that as your Kira confession?"

"Fuck you."


	9. The Musical Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some implied past LxB

L sighed, curling under the blanket.

Sunlight spliced across his eyes and he grumbled, forcing himself into a sitting position. Even with the extra sleep, there were harsh lines under his eyes. Of course he'd never let it show in his expression that seeing his parents plucked from his imagination was still bothering him. It'd been a relatively long time, maybe a week or two, and he figured he should've been over it by now. But then again, there were so many clocks on the train. It gave a whole new meaning to time being relative. He looked around the farmhouse's little guest room, grateful for the actual bed and clean pajamas. It'd been so long since he slept in one, both him and Light forced to use sofas, hay and dirt. And the pajamas... not really what L was used to, but God, were they comfortable. Just regular plaid pants and a slightly wooly shirt that tickled his cheek. L stretched out the tiredness from his muscles, blinking in surprise when he realized Light had already gotten up for the day. Scrap was resting on the dresser, the little bird's wings tucked against its body as it snored gently.

L smiled softly watching the small creature. Getting out of bed, the noise woke Scrap, but the bird simply fell on its side and went back to sleep. He shrugged and started making his way downstairs, smiling politely.

"Good morning, Lilly."

The bipedal horse was at the stove cooking some eggs in a flowery pink dress. She whirled her large head, a smile lighting up her features as her ear flicked.

"Morning, hon! Oh, your clothes are drying on the clothesline, they should be done pretty soon. Your friend there is out in the barn. I asked him if he could milk the cows."

L faltered, his eyes wide. His lips twitched and he tilted, trying not to sound eager.

"... _Light._.. is milking the cows?"

She nodded, beaming. L bit his lip.

He had to see this.

Stepping out and towards the barn, L passed dozens of chickens and some sheep grazing. If it weren't for the horse living in the house, he'd say this car was about the most normal one they'd come across.

He leaned against the barn's doorway, watching amusedly.

Light was cursing, trying to get a grip on the cow's utters, but she kept moving and stepping out of his reach. Light growled, pushing the bucket back beneath her.

"You insufferable little-"

L snickered, which caught Light's attention.

Light's cheeks burned a hot red and he scoffed, crossing his arms with a sneer. On one hand, he absolutely hated being caught like this. On the other... L hadn't so much as snickered in what felt like weeks. He hated that he liked it. Light rationalized with himself that it was just his brain craving jovial company rather than depressed.

"Ryuzaki. Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, just getting my daily entertainment," L chuckled, taking a long sip of his coffee.

Oh, coffee how he'd missed it. Light made a show of rolling his eyes, motioning to the cow.

"Okay, well, while you're getting your _entertainment_ , I'm trying to help our hostess."

"The only reason you're helping her is because she asked you to do this," L giggled.

Light's face soured, but he chose not to dignify that with a response. Instead, he made a point of kicking the bucket in L's direction, a slow languid smirk creeping up his lips.

"Fine. You do it then."

L's brow quirked. But it wasn't as if he was about to turn down a challenge. He shrugged dramatically, picking up the bucket and grinning challengingly. Light followed him with his eyes, trying not to laugh as L settled next to the cow. The second L's fingers touched the utters, the cow made an annoyed sound, walking ahead and out of range of the bucket. L blinked, his lips pursing.

"Pfft. Rude," he mumbled.

Light bit back a laugh, his eyes dancing every time L tried and failed to get the damn cow to stand still. Every failure made L bristle in frustration, his soothing voice towards the cow become strained and commanding. Light snorted, his brow quirking.

"Not as easy as you thought?"

L huffed and threw hay at the other. Light yelped, growling and trying to shake it out from his strands. Fuck, it was sticking and getting tangled. He glared murderously at the detective.

"You brat," he breathed in awe, amber eyes snapping towards L's shit-eating grin, "you absolute fucking brat."

Almost as if in defiance, L threw some more hay at him. Light gasped and slowly gathered hay of his own. L's lips twitched, his feet ready to run. Roaring Light charged at him. L gave out a cry of surprise as the other managed to stuff some of the hay beneath L's shirt. He yelped, racing out of the barn and keenly aware that Light was on his heels. L tried swerving, but it was no use. Before he could register it, Light was smooshing hay into his hair and down his shirt, laughing evilly.

L playfully shoved Light's arm, not even registering the genuine smile on his face.

"You're bloody insufferable!" He declared, trying to scratch out hay.

Light chuckled, continuing to assault with hay until they were horizontal, neither of them realizing it until it was too late. Until they were staring at each other. They froze, going quiet. Light became hyper-aware of his grip on L's wrist, feeling the other's pulse... it was going quick... why was L's pulse so fast? The man's entire body was pinned, his muscles quivering as if unsure whether or not to run. Light met the other's eyes, his stomach twisting oddly. He swayed, almost as if possessed and wanting... the fantasy replayed in his mind. Of having the great L beneath him... writhing and begging... Light quickly shook off the thought. No. He'd already established the dream meant nothing.

L stared up at him, charcoal eyes cryptic and unrevealing, all the man's guards up in an instant.

"Get off of me." L said curtly.

Light's cheeks went warm, but he scrambled off, scowling. He didn't know why L's coldness bothered him so much. It'd always irked him, always beckoned him to try the detective's patience. Just to keep him expressing. He smirked, his eyes going serpentine.

"Why? Still think I'm Kira and that I'll try to kill you or something?"

L moved to his own feet, slowly scanning him. He exhaled slowly and straightened, his voice frigid.

"I don't know what you're capable of, Kira."

 _Until the game's won, I won't drop my guard_. L repeated it like a mantra. This was all a game. Everything was a game of one variety or another.

Light glared, but didn't respond, marching back for the house.

"Stop calling me Kira," he snarled over his shoulder.

A shiver raced up L's spine, but he ignored it. They said goodbye to Lily and kept moving, the silence thick and heavy as they started crossing the bridge. Nothing new with the wasteland, but they supposed that was to be expected. Light paused halfway, his eyes snapping in L's direction, accusatory and gruff.

"You're not sexually attracted to me, are you?"

The question was so blunt that it took L a few seconds to process. He stared at Light, his mouth hanging.

L bristled, his nose going up haughtily.

"I have standards."

Light made a show of rolling his eyes. The comment brought prickles of anger, but he couldn't tell where the anger was directed. But he managed a snicker, his eyes narrowed towards L's back.

"You? Standards? Considering how you dress, I'm guessing any partner you've had is a disgusting slob."

L whirled on him, his eyes slits.

"Actually no, he was quite handsome."

That made Light falter. He genuinely thought L was a virgin. The idea of him with someone else... he hated this feeling. That he was always torn and trying to figure himself out. He'd never had that problem before L. But, then again... hadn't he? _Kenji_... Light shoved the name to the back of his mind, shaking his head as he resumed marching towards the next car, feeling uncomfortable all over again.

Kenji was a whole can of worms and he'd be damned if he opened it around L, of all people.

"Really? And he fucked you? His standards must've been pretty damn low."

L shrugged, looking out over the wasteland.

"Maybe. But he kept coming back for more."

Light perked up in interest, watching L out of the corner of his eye. _Why is he being so candid right now? Is he being candid_? Maybe L's brain had just been that twisted from the plant. Light bit the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood, but decided to take the bait. His curiosity was greater at the moment.

"Did you love him? You're using past tense... I'm guessing something happened."

Large eyes slowly met his, carefully guarding and impossible to decipher. Logic told Light that this was all a spun tale, something that L would somehow use to get him to expose himself. But he found that in that moment, he didn't care.

L... didn't know how to categorize B. At one point, he'd genuinely wanted to be friends with the other. But it became obvious how unstable he was. And once L realized that... it was all just a dangerous game.

"No." L finally responded, tightening the backpack around his shoulders. "I never did. I'm always craving new things to challenge my brain, and that's what sex was with him... a new game. Whoever developed emotions first lost. I won."

L blinked, feeling a tingling on his arm.

He didn't elaborate any further, and Light found there was a finality to his statements. It was a miracle the man had been so open about that much. Light was about to move for the door again when L rode up his sleeve. His number had gone down over 300 points. L stared at the number, biting his lip. He practically shoved his sleeve back down, his nostrils flaring.

He opened his mouth, and Light thought he'd say something, but L simply continued on quietly, his carefully etched face hiding his worry. They entered the next car and stopped, both of them blinking.

It was a gigantic stage overlooking a sea of chairs. Light's brow quirked. He was about to comment on it when a giant overhead spotlight clicked on, the beam washing them in a blinding light. L growled, squinting against the glare and up at the rafters. Huh. He couldn't see anyone. The mystery was quickly solved when the light itself started talking, his voice practically bursting with excitement and a nervous energy.

"Performers! New performers!"

Various denizens throughout the set suddenly sprung to life. Playbills as tall as Light, gloves that moved like little people. The denizens crowded around them, cheering. Light tilted his head, but tried inching for the car's exit at the back of the theater. One of the light giggled, shining its beam onto the door.

"The door for which you seek is locked!"

L perked up. He rather liked these puzzle cars. Light, on the other hand, groaned, his jaw set. He crossed his arms, regarding one of the playbills.

"... Hey. So... the task?"

The playbill bounced amiably, giving a goofy laugh.

Rather than respond, the playbill jumped back. Music started to play from somewhere and L stiffened. The denizens didn't seriously expect them to...

" _When I look at you, I see me! When I look at me, I see you!_ "

They blanched as the denizens burst out singing, music pouring out from an unseen player. L went white as a sheet, flinching whenever the denizens danced close. Light's nose wrinkled defiantly.

"Why can't just let us through the fucking door?" He growled.

L yelped when one of the denizens shoved him, trying to prompt him to dance.

" _It may sound kind of funny at first, but you'll see._ _If you give it a try you'll like it, too."_

L's brow quirked. Never in his life did he think he'd miss the swamp. But then he was handed a lyrics sheet and he realized he'd rather have the goddamn sirens. Light glared at his own sheet, as if he could make it burst into flames with his eyes. He sighed, looking in L's direction.

"The Cat did say children come on the train... and super young."

L blinked at the information, nodding thoughtfully. He couldn't help but snort.

"You think the train feels guilty about taking away their Sesame Street?"

Light snorted much too loudly, clearing his throat and trying to hide that it'd happened. The denizens twirled around them, singing out to a nonexistent crowd. Even Scrap seemed to be getting into it, dancing in the air, dipping and swirling as it tweeted along. Light inched away, hopping off the stage and pulling at the door anyway.

Just to see.

When it didn't budge, he slumped back onto the stage, holding the sheet in front of him and singing in a disgruntled tone.

" _We're not the same, and that's a good thing-_ Oh, Jesus fucking Christ _-_ _There's a whole lot of good being different can bring."_

L snickered, covering his mouth to stop a squeaking laughter. His eyes snapped in L's direction, narrowed and telling the man it was definitely his turn. The teasing smile instantly fell. The detective shrank, his voice muffled as he scanned the sheet.

" _Life's too short to only look for difference._ _We should learn to celebrate our difference."_

Light straightened slightly. Obviously L wasn't giving it his all... but he could hear the underlying of a beautiful singing voice. Soft, low and melodic, drifting... Light didn't even realize he'd been staring until L stopped singing and watched him expectantly. Light suddenly felt self-conscious, his chest tight as he sang. His cheeks felt... hot. Fuck. But as they continued exchanging parts, they started laughing as the silliness. L would even say he got into it, shifting his shoulders to the music, and Light tapping his feet.

The song was mercifully short and the denizens lined up at the front of the stage joining what could pass for hands, looking at them proudly and clapping.

"Whoo! Take a bow!"

The denizens waited patiently until L and Light realized they wanted the two of them to join hands as well. They exchanged a look, awkwardly clasping each others' hands and not looking at each other. Even so... Light could feel the other's palm, the skin cool, yet the fingers calloused supposedly from L gnawing them. And L... he could feel the warmth in Light's hand.

They gave an awkward bow, still not looking at each other as everyone cheered. L and Light couldn't help smiling a little. It was ridiculous... but... fun. L couldn't remember the last time he just... did something ridiculous for fun. He stiffened when he felt his number shift. Close to a hundred points down. He stared at it, his brow quirked.

He exchanged a look with Light. Light tilted his head a bit, examining the number. He gasped softly when he felt his own number going down as well.

Hm. L looked around the car, biting his lip. He couldn't explain it... but at the moment, his number changing didn't really bother him. He thought maybe it should've... but... it didn't. 

Neither of them realized they were still holding hands.


	10. The Spider Car

L pouted, turning his journal over in his hands. He'd already filled all the pages. He grumbled, holding up the journal disappointedly.

"Damn."

Light nodded understandingly, biting his lip.

"That sucks. You got some really good notes though."

As if proving his point, Light took the journal and flipped through it. They'd been through 142 cars, 59 of them 'puzzle cars' where they had to do a task in order to unlock the door. He skimmed over pages and pages filled with surprisingly good illustrations, danger descriptions and theories over the denizens. He hated to admit that he would've loved to just sit down and read everything L had investigated. Light chose to shrug instead.

"Look on the bright side. If we don't make it out of this, we'll be leaving behind a well of information," Light snorted.

L made a show of rolling his eyes and snatched the book back, holding it to his chest. Like Light actually cared. Still. He supposed Light had a point. L tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Have you noticed that no denizens we've ever come across look completely human? It's a small detail, but I find it fascinating."

Light hummed thoughtfully, nodding.

"If we're following with the theory that the cars are created by someone, maybe they don't want Passengers feeling tricked? Or maybe it's just really hard to recreate a human for some reason?"

Damn. It was these types of theories and musings with the other that L loved to record. He sighed, tucking the book into the bag. His thumb instinctively went to his lips, pensive and trying to work out the problem. A comfortable energy had settled between the two of them. A fragile and delicate balance of tolerating each. L was even hesitant to say that he... greatly enjoyed... the company.

As they went into the next car, they pursed their lips. Oh yeah. Fuck this.

They were in a cave-like setting, surrounded by spiderwebs. The webs covered rock and practically every little space one could imagine. They exchanged one look that said 'this is going to suck' and proceeded.

Light cautiously stepped over some of the webbing, his nose wrinkling at the musty smell. The cave was cool, sending a chill over his skin which made all his hairs stand on-end. L's eyes slid in every direction, his nerves on high alert.

Something screeched, the sound bouncing off the walls and echoing in their very souls. Light's eyes popped.

"That's our cue."

L nodded rapidly, already sprinting. Light cursed at how fast the detective was, watching him zoom right past, out of sight, as Light was still struggling. He gasped, stepped into a gathering of web and grunting, the thick strands sticking to his leg. Light's eyes widened as he pulled at the leg, his face twisting in panic. Behind him, he could hear the scuttling of feet and didn't want to turn around. God, he didn't want to turn around. But he did, glancing back. Light whimpered, violently jerking his leg. The spider was huge, much bigger than him and moving throughout its webs, watching him hungrily.

The leg gave way, but it was too much momentum and Light stumbled backwards, falling in and getting tangled in more webbing. A scream tore through his throat, terror bleeding in his expression. The spider got closer its eyes taking him in. Light yelled, fighting against the webs as the creature slowly crawled to his side. It pulled some webbing up, throwing it around his torso. Light gasped, shaking his head.

"Ryuzaki! _Help_!"

The thing got closer, showing off fangs as long as Light's forearm, slick and dripping with venom. Light stared at the fangs, letting out pathetic whimpers as he thrashed. In that moment, he didn't care about anything else. The death note, this train, society, his family, L. All he felt was pure fear. Nothing else mattered.

"L! _Please!_ "

The sound of yelling and both the spider and Light looked up. L was running towards them as fast as he could, a large rock taking up all his arm space. Snarling viciously, L launched the rock straight at the spider's face.

It yelped, collapsing backwards and writhing. Still running on adrenaline, L roared, grabbing more rocks and throwing it at the beast. The spider hissed, putting distance between them and moving up the wall.

L held his rock protectively, his glare absolutely murderous. The spider rubbed at its face, growling. But rather than start an altercation, it scuttled along the wall, disappearing down a corridor. L breathed heavily, the rock almost slipping from his grip.

Light was still in the web and shaking, his nostrils flaring.

"Get me out of here."

He meant it to sound like a command, but it sounded small and scared. Holding his rock, L made his way over and tried slicing through the webbing with said rock. It was partly successful. Enough so for Light to tear himself out of the webbing, collapsing and sagging into L, his heart still racing. L gasped, quickly catching him. Huh... even with a week or two of not showering, L smelled... sweet... Light exhaled shakily. His mind felt fractured, his vision blurred and unable to form a coherent thought. 

Maybe it was still his 'nothing matters' attitude taking over. A recklessness that Light didn't even know he was capable of... but he crashed his lips into L's, his body still trembling and his lips desperate.

L's eyes popped and he almost stumbled back, his head spinning.

The kiss was so sudden that his genius brain had come to a grinding halt trying to make sense of it. There wasn't any tongue, but the pressure of Light's lips were hard and suffocating in their own right. Light always knew the detective had thin lips, but he would've never expected how smooth and warm they were. 

L's first reaction was to want to push Light away. But... he didn't... L didn't do anything but just stand there. Why was he just standing there? L's eyes flickered over Light's features, his stomach twisting and curling in different directions. _Move, damnit_!

They were there for about three or four seconds before the spider screeched and they broke it, running for the exit. It left both of their lips cold though, as if they'd been ripped from something they needed. Surging through the exit, they slammed the door shut and fell onto the platform, panting.

L stared at the wasteland's red sky, his lips buzzing. He caught his fingers lightly touching his lips in awe, still processing. Light had... and it was warm... the first thought that ran through L's mind was _honey._ The kiss had been like honey. Sweet, warm and filling his chest with a strange coziness. L gaped quietly, slowly running a thumb against his bottom lip. Why would Light...?

Light was on his back too, watching the swirling, dark clouds. Clouds that never seemed to rain. He didn't say anything, his lips still buzzing. Instant embarrassment and humiliation flared up in his stomach. Light's face soured, wanting to scream at L and call him a million names. But he couldn't. He'd been the one to kiss him. Fuck. He crossed his arms over his chest, still not making a motion to stand.

"This doesn't mean I'm in love with you or something."

"I never assumed anything like that," L said softly.

The detective blinked and twisted his neck.

"Was this your first time kissing a man?"

There was no hint of teasing or smugness. Genuine curiosity and Light would even say... concern. L was genuinely concerned about him. Light stared at those large eyes for what felt like ages and finally sighed, averting his gaze.

"No. My first kiss in general was with a boy named Kenji. He was my first... everything."

That made L perk up in surprise. It didn't take a genius to deduct that no one in Light's life had probably known about this 'Kenji'. It intrigued him. L opened his mouth to ask more, to ask what happened, but Light turned on his side, struggling to his feet. L quietly watched him, the wind whipping Light's hair back. Handsome. Tanned skin, chiseled jaw, soft and silky hair... L realized he was staring and quickly looked away.

"So we're going to pretend it didn't happen." He affirmed, his voice too even to be a question.

Light bit his lip.

"Yeah."

L nodded slowly.

"Okay."

He rolled to his own feet, his lips missing the warmth. It really was like being kissed by the sun. L found himself wanting to do it again, like his lips were aching and itching. He sank his teeth into his lips, hoping the pain would be an adequate distraction as they crossed the bridge.

L hated this train.

Light's knees were still wobbling, but his face was overall neutral. He wouldn't let something stupid like a spider crack his façade. He'd worked too hard for it. And besides. The kiss had only happened because there wasn't anyone else. He kept telling himself that, holding his arms. He wasn't gay, and he wasn't attracted to L. All those magazines he'd snuck peaks at were nothing. Kenji meant nothing and neither did L.

Nothing.

They stepped into the next car, and blinked. It was an insane club-setting party, a complete 180 from the spider's car. The denizens mostly consisted of dancing monsters, their expressions exaggerated and their proportions just a little bit off. The music pounded, vibrating in L's chest and making him vibrate slightly. He wasn't a fan of crowds at the best of times. Packed together body heat and the stifling air that it produced always left him nauseous. He squinted against bright flashing neon lights, trying to see past the crowd. They were cheering and laughing, their dancing uneven, but none of them seemed to care. After a few seconds, he gave up and grumbled, his eyes narrowed. L had to yell just to be heard.

"I can't see the door!"

Light nodded in agreement. He yelped as he was jostled by some dancers, almost losing his footing. It was practically impossible to navigate forward, the consistent booming and loud noises disorienting him. Glancing around, he perked up, motioning to a bar in the corner. L straightened, his brow quirked. Alcohol?

Light hoped it was alcohol. He'd give anything for a drink at the moment. The chairs were mostly empty save for a figure with a cloak and hood drawn up, a small glass with liquid and ice in front of it. The body seemed more humanoid than the rest of the denizens. The two exchanged a glance before fighting their way over the bar, grunting and worming around writhing bodies. Once they got there, they collapsed into the chairs, their feet throbbing from having walked all day. Light glanced down at his hands, silently cursing that they were still shaking.

Oh, yeah. He needed a drink.

The bartender was a sea creature, tentacles coming out from everywhere. Its glittering orange eyes sparkled excitedly.

"More customers!" It trilled, purring, "will that be an apple juice?"

L and Light stared. Light felt like screaming and even L's face painted in disappointment. It would've been... nice... to have actual alcohol. It'd been months since they'd had any. But they nodded slowly, trying for their best smiles. Apple juice it was.

Next to them, the figure snorted. Taking off the hood revealed a woman... a Passenger? L and Light inhaled sharply, their eyes wide. L scanned her, profiling her to be in her mid forties. Her eyes were a striking blue, her peppered grey and black hair tied behind her in a tight braid.

She looked completely human.

She sipped from her glass, eyes sparked in amusement as she shook her head.

"A lot of things have been kiddified because the train takes children." She turned her attention to the bartender, flashing a dazzling smile. "Nah, Dwayne. The good stuff. Like I showed you."

Dwayne simply smiled and nodded, going to work on presumably the 'good stuff'. Light watched her, taking in the woman's appearance. She had a backpack resting on the ground and from what he could see of her outfit, it was a hodgepodge of leather, warm material and differing styles. A turtleneck with long sleeves and a leather jacket under her cloak. Articles obviously taken from all different parts of the train. She seemed to be just as analytical, slowly taking in Light's appearance and leaning back in her chair in interest. Dwayne came back with two glasses identical to hers, setting them in front of the boys.

L sniffed at his, his nose wrinkling. Alcohol. Real, honest-to-God alcohol. Fuck, he missed it. He downed it in one go, relishing in the burn it left in the back of his throat. His stomach was pretty empty though, and even just one shot so quick made him blink rapidly. Light gaped, being more conservative, but still greedily gulping at the liquid. It wasn't a good idea to get too drunk. Not now that they had a stranger to worry about.

Light leaned towards the woman, nodding a bit.

"... Thank you... Ms.-?"

The woman smiled, her accent a thick British.

"Mara. Eh, the two of you looked like you needed it. New to the train?"

L rolled his shoulders.

"I'd say we've been here... maybe a couple of months?"

Mara's brow arched, a teasing smile playing at her lips.

"That's new, Hon. I've been here since... well... the year I left was 1985. What year is it now?"

Light straightened, his eyes popping. He didn't want to make a scene, but his jaw couldn't help falling open and he cried out rather loudly.

"You've been here for 22 _years_?!"

Mara tilted her head, finishing her glass.

"Hm. Yeah, that probably sounds about right."

L froze. If that was true... time ran the same on and off the train? To the rest of the world, he and Light had been missing for _months?_! His eyes widened, feeling sick to his stomach. Months... Watari had probably already chosen between Near and Mello. Did everyone think he was dead? His investigation, everything...

Light actually did almost throw up. He was missing Sayu growing up, his family, his career, going to college... the perfect life he was supposed to have! It was all falling apart before his very eyes. Light rested his temple in the cup of his hand, still despising the tremor in his fingers from before.

She stood and stretched, slinging her backpack around her shoulders. Mara chuckled, watching them.

"I've been holing up in the next car over. You can imagine how nice it is to have a club next door." She giggled, shaking her head. "Need a place to crash?"

Neither said anything at fist. They couldn't trust her. L chewed his lip. But then again, when hadn't he been willing to work with someone he didn't trust? His eyes moved in Light's direction. If she was living in the next car, that meant they'd have to go through it anyway.

Might as well be invited rather than fight their way out.

Light seemed to read his mind, but his lips were still pursed with mistrust. Mara had a certain look about her. Wickedly intelligent, yet mischievous and even something a bit reckless behind her eyes. Although to be fair, Light couldn't see how someone could live on the train for decades and _not_ become a little reckless. He idly wondered how many other people she'd encountered or if she'd been mostly isolated. She may have looked to be in her forties, but Light was willing to bet her emotional maturity was much younger, if not as young as when she got on the train.

Still. It seemed like they didn't have a choice. Spider on one side, potentially crazy Passenger on the other.

At least maybe now they'd get some answers.


	11. The Camp Car

They followed Mara into a forest car. Just stepping in, they could tell it was already a peaceful environment. Trees swayed gently in the breeze, sending up the scent of pine and cedar. All the colors seemed to pop, beautiful streaks in the sky that made L and Light feel safe. Mara led them down a dirt path, sighing happily and shaking her head.

"Home sweet home. This car basically gives you everything you need. There's a stream of fresh water, non-sentient animals to hunt, edible berries and plants. I found a couple of tents already pitched and have been making my own journals to record my findings."

L blinked, his mind wandering to his own full journal. She probably wouldn't give him any extras, would she? He tucked the possibility in the back of his mind. Light tilted his head curiously, his brow quirking.

"Record your findings?"

Mara looked at him and nodded affirmatively. She shrugged off her cloak, revealing a light blue turtleneck and leather shoulder-guard, small metal spikes sticking out of the material. The deeper into the car they walked, she took out her hairband. Almost instantly, her hair _poofed_ , no longer a tight braid, but a giant mess of tangles that water-falled down her back, the spikes and knots rivaling L's.

"Mhm! I'm a scientist. Or at least I was before I found this marvelous contraption." She smirked, biting her lip, "I've been dedicating my life to understanding the train in the pursuit of science and bettering our understanding of the universe."

Light nodded slowly, impressed. She clasped her hands together as they came up on a clearing. Three tents had been pitched up, a fire-pit in the middle of the campsite. L motioned to the other tents.

"Are there other Passengers with you?"

Mara sighed and shook her head, moving for the tent in the middle.

"There used to be others, but they all exited the train. Every other group I've tried joining has turned out to be some weird-ass cult."

L froze, his eyes wide. The words tumbled out of his mouth, rushed and shocked.

"You know Passengers who've exited the train?!"

Light was stiff, watching Mara intently. She didn't answer at first, moving from tent to tent and humming. There was something flighty about her, as if she couldn't stop and concentrate on one thing for long. She dug around in her tent, eventually coming out with warm-looking blankets and offering it to the boys. L took them gratefully, smiling softly, yet still waiting for an answer. Mara shrugged.

"Mhm. Technically speaking, I know _how_ to get off, but I just have never wanted to."

She swung her bag next to the cold fire-pit and sat on one of the logs. She searched through it, giving a triumphant sound and holding out a handful of berries.

"I have to go hunting. Protein's important. But here. Consider it an appetizer."

As they took the berries, Light watched her, scanning her features inquisitively.

"You've never wanted to leave? There's no one at home you care about?"

Her face was cryptic and unrevealing, blue eyes set icy and guarded. Light bit his lip, wondering if he'd gone too far. Mara rolled her shoulders and averted her eyes, her voice soft.

"You're always leaving someone behind. But it's better this way. Things got really fucked up really quickly and... I wasn't in the best of places." For just a moment, those blue eyes went haunted and sad, lines on her face becoming more pronounced as she seemed to shrink into her body. Her lips twitched wryly and she tapped her temple. She expertly diverted the conversation."But I'm brilliant, at least that's what they say. Got into Oxford at age 14. Got my doctorate degree in nuclear physics at 19. Being on this train... it's _fascinating_. From my wildest dreams." Her lips went into a smile. "I'd never leave such an intriguing find."

They nodded thoughtfully. L popped one of the berries in his mouth, a mixture of sweet and sour coating his tongue. He might've still been new to this train, but reading people, he could do. The way she shifted and talked, her eye movements and tone of voice... L pegged her as someone with depression and untreated trauma. Sitting on another log not too far away from her, he drew up his knees to his chest. He didn't even realize he'd taken out his journal until it was sitting innocently on top of his knees, and then L found it too awkward to find an opportunity to shove it back inside. Light followed suit, opting to sit more primly. L dipped his head respectfully.

"I could see why. Studying this train would take longer than a lifetime."

He shivered, a shot of excitement racing up his spine. He'd be lying if he said he never considered just... staying... what amazing things could he learn? Sciences not yet privy to humanity? Her eyes moved to the small journal tightly clutched in L's grip. Mara brightened, her eyes sparkling. "You keep journals too."

L gave a small smile, running his hand along the cover and mumbling softly.

"Heh. Yeah. You're right. The train's simply too fascinating to _not_ record and study."

She giggled, nodding in agreement.

"I hear that! Have you tried sampling any soils? Some soils are pretty normal, but others! I've discovered _three_ new elements!"

L's eyes widened, finding himself getting excited. Light watched on, biting his lip. Mara seemed relatively normal. Thank God. She and L kept talking about their research, really hitting it off. Light listened intently, but after about five minutes, it was clear he was third-wheeling. He huffed a bit, making a show of crossing his arms.

"Um... the exit?" He reminded them pointedly.

Mara stared, blinking and smiling sheepishly. L shot Light a glare, bu didn't say anything. They did need an exit... She nodded and held out a gloved hand. Slipping it off, both L and Light gaped. Compared to theirs, her number was so low... 682. It glowed against her hand, lighting up her features. Mara traced a finger along her palm, slowly going over the numbers.

"Zero's the key," she whispered, biting her lip.

The boys looked on in a quiet awe, neither saying anything at first. After a couple of moments, Mara slid her glove back on and flexed her fingers. Her brow was knit in a deep concentration.

"The train's meant to help you work through your problem. When you first get on, it analyzes and compartmentalizes your life and choices into a single number. If you do well, realize things, gain different perspectives or take positive actions you wouldn't normally, your number goes down. The opposite's true. If you continue in your ways and refuse to grow or even become a worse person, your number goes up." Mara stared at her gloved hand, her voice a soft mumble. "Mine was originally at 423. Most numbers getting on the train are usually under 1000, I'd say."

L felt frozen in place, his heart thudding. A crossroads... he kept his own hand in his pocket, his breathing coming a bit heavier. _Zero's the key_... most incoming numbers under a thousand? He had more digits than he could count! So much... L swayed. He opened his mouth, but Mara held up a hand to silence him, chuckling.

"And no, you can't cheat or trick your way out of this. The number _can't_ be tricked. So, what's yours?"

His mouth clamped.

Light was sick to his stomach. He'd never asked for this... he didn't _want_ this! He glared at his hand. At the number that wrapped around his skin, up his arm and around his entire torso and back. Instantly, a million questions bubbled up in his mind. Why was his number so high?! He'd always led a pure life! Always tried to be the best person possible! _Kira was the result of his benevolence_! And if what she said was true, then how could his number be higher than L's? Sure, L's went up to his shoulder, but the man was immoral! His methods were disgusting and just the very notion of him wanting to stop Kira made him evil!

His breath quickened, his vision blurring. There were so many emotions that he didn't even know how to sort them. Anger, fear, sadness... God, was the anger strong... Light straightened, his eyes darkening.

"You can't be serious! That's ridiculous! If the train wants to help us so badly, why almost kill us?! I'm not supposed to be here!"

Mara was unfazed. Her only change in expression was her brow quirking.

"The train wasn't made for _you_. Cars that are useless to your personal journey are paramount to others'. Hm." Her lips curved. "I suppose narcissism is one of your flaws?"

Light's eyes blazed, electricity shooting up his spine. The electric shock sent Light jumping to his feet, towering over her. He bared his teeth, his gaze narrowed dangerously. If looks could kill, Mara would've been obliterated. She looked on, her expression almost bored.

L stiffened, sensing the impending. He held up a peaceful hand, his voice warning towards Light.

"Light. We're tired and we need shelter."

"You should listen to your friend, Light," Mara purred, her eyes sparked.

The air crackled, thick and heavy. Grumbling, Light slowly hissed out the boiling rage, being left dissatisfied and with still so many questions.

"Mm. I am tired."

Mara nodded slowly, her eyes still sharp and cutting.

"Maybe the two of you would like to get some sleep," she offered cordially.

L nodded rapidly, practically shoving Light towards one of the tents. Light's lips pursed, but he quietly played along, moving into the tent and sinking on top of a sleeping bag. He stared at the tent's ceiling. At moldy and soaked fabric that was anything but shelter. L's nostrils flared as he laid down on the sleeping bag next to Light, Mara's words rolling through his head. Could it really be true?

Was zero the key?

He swallowed thickly, looking at his hand and the glowing green number which reflected in L's grey eyes. Beside him, Light shifted, moving to his side so he was facing L. Light watched the detective for a few seconds.

"Do you trust her?"

"I don't trust anybody," L shrugged, "but why would she lie about that?"

"Because she's lonely? Because she's been on this crazy piece of shit for decades and has become crazy herself?"

Now L turned on his own side. Their faces were inches away from each other, so close that Light could feel the warmth of L's breath. It didn't bother him as much as it should've.

"What other choice do we have? We haven't run into anyone even remotely as knowledgeable as she is."

Light sank his teeth into his lip, tasting blood. He didn't want to admit that he was scared. If what Mara said was true...

"I could take us years to get off," he breathed, his throat bobbing. There was a pressure behind his eyes and he shrank into himself to stop from breaking down. "My number... it's so big. I can't... how could I possibly get it down to zero?"

There was a salty taste in his mouth and he cursed, trying everything to will away the tears.

L didn't say anything at first. Simply watched Light. Honestly, he was feeling the same. He exhaled shakily and nodded.

"We'll um... figure something out."

"Even though you think I'm Kira?" Light's eyes were glassy as he looked at the detective. "Admit it. The only reason why you'd try to help me is so you can have my head as a trophy back home."

An uncomfortable silence filled the tent. L bit his lip, slowly looking over Light's face.

"... Fair. But then, what about you? There are so many opportunities where you could've killed me. Do you just want my name in the death note that badly?"

The same tension made the air laden and heavy. Light met steely grey eyes head-on, his own wide.

"... Fair... So even now... it's all just a game?"

L's throat bobbed. He'd become so good about hiding his emotions that even he had trouble distinguishing them. A game.... that's all they were good for, wasn't it? If their access was cut off to one, a new game had to inevitably start. And the prospect of being here for years... His neck craned and a shiver raced up his spine when his lips softly brushed against Light's. The contact was somehow both expected and a shock, making Light freeze in place. He blinked, torn between moving away and pulling the detective closer.

"It's always been a game." L mumbled against Light's lips.

The younger nodded slowly.

"Just a game."

Pressing their lips together, Light felt a spark run through his limbs, down to his fingertips. L tried using his tongue to open Light's mouth and dominate, but Light wouldn't let him, nipping on the detective's lower lip. L let out a soft sound, tilting his head. Light pulled back slightly, scanning the other.

This was a dangerous game.

But maybe that's why he wanted to play it so badly.

He found himself kissing L again, telling himself that it was just a game. It was that for L, Light couldn't allow it to be anything more. _I don't actually care about him_.

L was having similar thoughts. He tried telling himself this was just a repeat of his game with B. That it was just a contest between who could resist developing feelings, but some part of him knew otherwise.

Teeth met lips until L softly gasped, Light shoving his tongue into his mouth. All at once, L's head went dizzy. Why were they doing this? Was it really just an absence of their Kira game? Light's tongue tasted like the berries Mara had given them. L stiffened as that tongue rolled in his mouth. Light mapped it out, ran his tongue along L's teeth and the inside of his cheek. Finally, he pulled back for breath, his chest heaving.

L's heart raced, but his features remained schooled. He nodded slowly, forcing himself to turn on his other side, giving his back to Light.

"Goodnight," he said flippantly.

Light bit the inside of his cheek in frustration. By pulling away, he'd given L the opportunity to put it to an end. Point to the detective. Light gave L his back as well, holding his arms and quietly staring at the sleeping bag, a million thoughts running through his brain. His lips buzzed and he had no idea what they'd just done. A part of him wondered if L would address it in the morning. He wouldn't. 

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually tried drawing Mara. Art of that is on my Tumblr :).   
> https://pyreneese.tumblr.com/post/639486543758786560/tried-drawing-an-oc-from-my-story-passengers-named


	12. The Tunnel Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for italicized section: internalized and societal homophobia, past hate crime, mentions of underage drinking and implied consensual underage. If you're not comfortable reading any of this, leave a comment and I can give a brief summary :).

_Light's tongue moved along with Kenji's, surprised by the taste of coffee and smoke. They were only fourteen, but Kenji was a lot more... rebellious... than Light. He smoked, drank, Hell, Kenji had even stolen his parent's car on occasion. That didn't automatically mean he was on top. Light hated giving up control, always felt like he needed it. Kenji understood that and did whatever made Light comfortable. Light's head tipped back, his cheeks flushed as Kenji attached his lips to his neck, harshly sucking the skin. Kenji might've been used to breaking the rules, but for Light, just kissing the other boy was enough to make him almost pass out from the taboo. He knew they weren't exclusive yet, and that was shockingly fine with Light. He was still new to all these feelings and wasn't sure if he was ready to call Kenji his 'boyfriend' yet. Just the fact that the boy had been Light's first kiss was dizzying enough._

_The only issue was that everyone at school knew Kenji was gay. They knew he slept around and that he was always getting into different types of trouble. Parents would always voice their concerns to the school about what a bad influence they thought Kenji was. No one knew about Light... and Light had no inclination to tell anyone. He didn't even know for sure if he was gay... just that he enjoyed having Kenji writhe beneath him, his features screwed in pleasure. But that could've easily have just been an enjoyment of power. Light told himself that he was too normal to be gay. That he wasn't like Kenji at all._

_It was cloudy, hanging in the sky like a bad omen. As Light walked, he froze, seeing some kids from school. It was a circle of people cheering and jeering. Light's grip on his book tightened, but he forced himself to move closer. In the middle of the circle were three boys beating up Kenji._

_He was curled up on the ground, blood dripping from a gash on his forehead. Light's eyes widened a fraction, his tongue heavy in his mouth. Kenji cried out in pain when the boys kept kicking, sneering and spitting on him, calling him disgusting names that made Light flinch. The crowd snickered, egging it on. Kenji rolled onto his stomach, breathing heavily, his arms trembling from trying to hold himself up. Light gaped, his heart twisting._

_And then they made eye-contact. Kenji tensed, his eyes going wide and hopeful, something gentle shining in his gaze. Trusting. Some people followed Kenji's eyes, their brows quirked. Light looked around at all the faces, his chest going tight on him._

_"Hey, Yagami, want to join us?" One of the bullies chuckled, sending another debilitating kick towards Kenji's chest._

_It took all Light had not to cringe at that. Instead, he kept his features schooled. His lips twitched as he slowly looked down at the bleeding boy, locking gazes with him. Light's voice became serpentine. Dangerous and cold._

_"Honestly? He's not worth the spit on my shoes. Why would I want to accidentally stain something with his worthless blood?"_

_Proving his point, Light spat at Kenji. The look in the other's eyes... betrayal... sadness... hurt... fear... everyone around laughed and Light took a few steps back, opening his book and reading as if he was bored with the whole situation. He heard them continuing to hurt Kenji... until the boy was unmoving and twitching on the ground. Everyone must've gotten bored and dispersed. Light spared one last glance in Kenji's direction, everything in his being urging him to help the other. But... what would it look like if he did? If he helped Kenji to his house? Light swayed on his feet, watching the crumpled mess for a second before leaving._

_The funny thing was that Kenji didn't leave him for that. Oh, no, Light was able to use his silver tongue and sweet-talk the other into staying. Kenji would always want Light to praise him and tell him sweet nothings. There was a hollowness in the boy's eyes though that Light found concerning. Even when he kissed Kenji's temple, or wrapped his arms around the other's thin frame, Light could tell whatever person he'd started this... rendezvous ... with, was gone. For the first time in his life, nothing that he said helped the situation. So he stopped trying to help. He didn't bring it up... rationalizing with himself that it wasn't his issue. That Kenji's problems weren't his._

_But Kenji wasn't the same... a few months later, he died from alcohol poisoning._

Light slowly opened his eyes, listening to the sounds of the forest just outside the tent, his heart echoing in his ears and almost drowning out the memories. Something pecked at his insides, making him touch his stomach. Guilt?

He closed his eyes, his throat like sandpaper. Last night, he'd... kissed... L. And L had kissed back. He rose trembling fingers up to his lips, finding them still buzzing, as if carrying L's electrical charge. Light didn't want to turn around and see if L was still there. Knowing the detective, L was probably on his back, eyes wide open. A shiver ran up Light's spine, but he tried to ignore it. He simply lay there, his heart skipping uncomfortably.

Finally, he made a show of yawning and sat up. Light blinked when he realized L wasn't even there. Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Light slowly reached out and picked up the detective's blanket, inhaling the scent. L's scent. He hung his head, grumbling.

"Fuck."

* * *

L was outside comparing notes with Mara from both their journals. Of course, hers were more extensive and intricate. It took L reading over them twice to even begin to comprehend what she'd written.

"So... these orbs... project everything in a car?"

She nodded, tapping her diagram of a teal, glowing orb.

"Yup! Every rock, tree and creature is being projected by its own individual orb. But the denizens aren't limited to their cars. It's fascinating, the panels for them can only be accessed by the Steward."

L gaped in awe, nodding. He continued looking through her notes, through drawings of what the Conductor might look like based on witness accounts, through theories of The Cat and how she was connected with the train, through descriptions of 'memory tapes' and how they might relate to numbers. Designs for inventions like packs that'd help the wearer propel themselves from the top of cars to other cars. L read on intently, completely engrossed in the woman's writings. She watched him amusedly, her lips twitching. Mara scratched the back of her neck sheepishly.

"It's nice to have someone so interested in my research. I've been considering finding a denizen companion but I could never really connect with anyone." She shrugged helplessly.

L nodded understandingly, nibbling his thumb.

"You work better alone." He related to the sentiment. Who needed people in their lives?

Mara's expression warmed as she nodded.

"Exactly! Society's too hung up on everyone having company."

L chuckled, nodding. Mara gave a genuine smile, looking over his less-refined, but still interesting, journal. She hummed, wincing.

"Oh damn, you encountered a ghom?"

"A what?"

She waved a hand, pointing to the picture L had drawn of the cockroach-dog creature from the wasteland.

"Everyone calls them ghoms. They inhabit the wasteland..." She glanced over L sympathetically. "I don't think I need to warn you to stay away from them?"

L weakly chuckled, running a hand through his hair.

"No, we got the message. Not the friendliest of denizens."

Mara snorted, nibbling on her fingernails thoughtfully. She hummed softly, giving the journal back and smiling softly.

"They're the most difficult to figure out _because_ they're so dangerous." She shuddered. "Give me the creeps."

Light emerged from his tent, yawning widely. Mara's brow quirked and she tried for a peaceful smile, holding out a plate with berries and some mystery meat. Light tilted his head towards the meat, but didn't ask any questions, opting to just take the food. As he sat, he briefly met L's eyes, sending a shoot of... _something_... up his stomach. L's eyes flickered, but he turned his gaze away, giving all his attention to Mara.

"So you know all the cars in the next stretch? We should probably be moving soon."

In all truth, he didn't want to. But a part of him knew that there was the possibility of losing momentum if they stayed. If he and Light became static and complacent with their surroundings. He knew somehow that whatever they were looking for... it wasn't in this car. Besides. L had never been good about staying in one place too long.

Mara shrugged.

"Eh. The cars are always shifting and changing. It's impossible to always know what's around you." She stood up, grabbing her backpack. "But if you want a guide, I can lead you through the next ten cars or so."

L and Light perked up at that. It was funny. L... didn't really want to leave. He enjoyed just sitting here and talking with her. There was something with her he could connect with, and he didn't even know why.

They ate breakfast and then Mara handed each of them a wicked looking spear, taking one for herself. Light inspected his spear, his eyes wide. It had a stone point at the end, with various spikes that made it look positively badass. Light smirked to himself, not about to admit that he loved it. L turned his spear over in his hand, humming. Effective. Intimidating. Not bad.

Mara motioned for them to follow her to the exit. She checked something that looked like a compass, but if L craned his neck, he could see a screen showing boxes. Mara nodded to herself.

"No Passengers in any of the immediate cars."

At L's expression, she scrolled down. One of the boxes had three red dots blinking on the screen.

"That's us. It detects entities with numbers."

L and Light exchanged an impressed look.

Stepping out of the forest car and onto the platform, L felt the wind whip through his hair, fighting a small smile. There was something otherworldly about the wasteland that he knew he'd never get over. Something both enticing and intimidating.

They crossed over into various cars, none of them terribly dangerous. As they made their way through an underground tunnel, Light felt a stirring in the backpack. He glanced back to see Scrap twittering and waking up, letting out a sound that was almost like a yawn. Light's brow quirked amusedly.

"You're still here? I thought you'd left."

Scrap let out a low whistle, tucked its wings close to its body, and promptly slid back into the bag. Light blinked and shrugged, a small smile playing at his lips. He enjoyed having the little bird around. Even if most of its day consisted of sleeping in the bag.

A few feet up ahead, L and Mara were walking in a comfortable silence. L looked over the tunnel in awe. It looked to have been made by some kind of giant creature, maybe a mole, or something similar. Mara observed him, her gaze warm as she smiled.

"You remind me of someone I used to care about."

L faltered, cocking his head in interest.

"Really?"

She nodded, running her hand along the dirt walls.

"His name was Tom. Sweet guy. Crazy smart. The first time I saw you, it struck me how much you look like him. You even act a lot like him."

L nodded, his lips tugging up.

"I take that's... good?"

Mara huffed a soft laugh, shrugging.

"Very. I miss him a lot, and to meet someone like him..." She trailed off, her eyes going distant. "He's... dead... and for a good while, that really fucked me up."

L didn't say anything at first, his heart tugging for her. He looked around the giant tunnels, his voice soft.

"I know what it's like to lose someone. Well... more like, missing someone you never knew. I don't know."

He clamped his mouth, not used to talking openly. He didn't like it. Even so, he stiffened when he noticed his number drop by 20. Fuck that. He'd lived his whole life never really talking about his emotions or complicated thoughts. He wasn't about to start now.

Mara made an understanding sound, her face twisting in sympathy.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It's difficult, isn't it? Sometimes I think I should go back... just to find someone else I left behind. But I don't know anything about him... I guess I'm missing someone I never knew too."

L watched her curiously, debating whether to ask her to elaborate or not. At his questioning expression, Mara shrugged.

"My son. After Tom died, I fell on really hard times. Became homeless while pregnant and fell into a depression."

L tilted his head slightly, his stomach roiling. He quickly dismissed the thought that crossed his mind, forcing himself to focus back on the dark tunnels. _Don't be stupid. She's not your... wishful thinking_. L held his arms quietly, giving a bit of an awkward smile.

"I, um... I-I should probably check on Light. Make sure no moles or anything have eaten him."

Mara giggled, but nodded, continuing onward. L fell back in step with Light, the two of them silent. Light swallowed thickly, consciously scratching his arm.

"About last night-"

Large, grey owlish eyes settled on Light. He couldn't help but feel like he was under the detective's microscope. Sighing heavily, Light looked ahead. Anywhere but L's eyes.

"I want to do it again." _I want more. More of this game. It makes me feel alive..._

L's eyes widened a fraction. He nodded slowly, his voice soft.

"It was... a very... stimulating game."

"Yeah," Light whispered.

Both of them knew they were lying. Just like how both of them knew their numbers slightly ticked up.

L quickly stuffed his numbered hand into his pocket, his other one hanging much to close to Light's. Before he could register it, he'd slowly reached out, intertwining his fingers with the other's. Light's tongue felt thick and heavy in his mouth. Yet, as they kept walking, he found himself gently squeezing L's hand, a part of him never wanting to let go.


	13. The Sci-Fi Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tws for the italicized section: Past homelessness, past drug addiction.

The three of them laughed, sharing a meal. Mara leaned back, sighing contently as she patted her stomach. It was difficult for L to pinpoint how long they'd been traveling with Mara. A few days? A week? Two? Eh, whatever. He enjoyed spending time with her. She was intelligent and witty, connecting with him in a way that made him truly question...

The odds that she was his mother was astronomical. Still. L couldn't help but dream. Imagine her coming with them and having her in his life. He found himself daydreaming what this 'Tom' was like. And even found a small part of him grieving a man he literally knew nothing about. But the possibility and thrill at the notion that he might be L's father was enough to leave him thinking. _Don't get your hopes up, don't get your hopes up, don't get your hopes up_.

Mara opened the next door, revealing the inside of a spaceship. Light balked.

It was beautiful, a captain's chair with various alien denizens sitting at the other stations. They all wore various uniforms and were diverse in their appearance... none of them could even remotely be mistaken for human. There were tentacles and multiple eyes and large dragonfly wings that hummed when they buzzed. The whole scene was like something straight out of Star Trek, a starship that didn't look like it adhered to any type of science yet somehow worked.

Light's eyes couldn't help but widen, a shiver of excitement running up his spine. L noticed and tilted his head. He was about to open his mouth... when Light practically launched himself into the captain's chair. The younger man was beaming, his amber eyes sparked excitedly. L blinked. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen Light so relaxed and happy.

"Oh my God, Ryuzaki! Look! The captain's chair has a control panel and everything!"

Light looked over to the other side of the chair and gasped loudly, holding up a small badge. His voice rose a notch in excitement.

"It's a _combadge_! Oh my God! Does it work?!"

He poked at it, giving an elated sound when a voice answered.

"Terlak in Engineering. Anything I can do for you, Captain?"

"He called me Captain!" Light cried out.

Mara's brow quirked, a small teasing smile playing at her lips. She leaned against one of the consoles, taking in the aesthetic before chuckling.

"I tried once to do all my research here. But none of their equipment's scientifically accurate."

L hummed in agreement, looking at old, worn machines that looked more like painted cardboard. Denizens were typing nonsense onto their computers, nodding affirmatively every once in a while.

Light hissed out an anxious breath as he slowly rotated, sprawling himself horizontally across the Captain's chair. Shit, it felt good. Really good. The bridge crew all swiveled in their chairs, looking up at him with beady black, large golden and dozens of red eyes, their gazes expectant.

"Captain! Readings show there's a collapsing star a few lightyears away! Shall we move in closer?"

Light straightened, his chest swirling proudly. He was the captain! Of course no one knew about his secret nerd interests, all the sci-fi shows, movies and novels... He bit his lip.

"Go ahead, helmsman. Take us in. Warp speed 4."

Mara huffed an amused laugh, her nose crinkling as she tried to contain herself. L blinked as the alien gave a 'yes, sir' and turned back to it's console. Multiple tentacles flew across the station's screen, the denizen's features screwed in concentration. L would never admit it to himself, or anyone else, but seeing Light so... happy... so comfortable... it was shockingly pleasant. The man's entire body seemed to change, his face brightening and soft. L leaned against the other console next to Mara, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He didn't say anything, his throat bobbing as he let Light have his fun.

"Captain! A Zorgaline ship has just appeared on sensors! It's powering weapons!"

Light smirked.

"Photon torpedos! Full spread!"

L's brow rose. He calmly looked at Mara.

"We should probably look for the exit. Let him get he power-hunger and bloodlust out of his system."

Mara blinked and hummed in response. She slowly nodded, motioning for L to follow her off the bridge. As they made their way off, L could hear Light whooping and cheering victoriously.

"Zorgaline vessel has been neutralized!"

"Fuck yeah! Lay in our present course, helmsman!"

L snorted, shaking his head almost affectionately.

They walked through the cramped halls, denizens apologetically pushing past them and racing for their stations. L watched Mara's wild black hair, getting lost in the hints of grey that shone through. He cleared his throat, his voice small and awkward.

"Um, M-Mara?"

"Hm?"

"... You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but um... how'd you get on the train?"

She actually stopped walking and L yelped when he almost ran into her. Mara slowly turned around, brilliant blue eyes holding his own. He swallowed thickly, feeling like a specimen under her microscope. Her eyes went distant as she sighed, swaying a bit on her feet. Mara hesitated, her voice equally soft and small...

_Mara cursed under her breath as she struggled to change the diaper, her breathing heavy. Below her, her baby squirmed, looking up at her with wide grey eyes._

_"Mummy?"_

_"Shh, it's okay, baby, I've got you."_

_She finally finished the diaper, biting her lip. There. It was in place. The last one. Mara took a step back, a pressure behind her eyes._

_" **Fuck!"**_

_Her son's lips quivered._

_"I-I'm sorry-"_

_She leaned against the bathroom wall, tears blurring her vision. She sniffled, stubbornly wiping at them and shuddering. Mara hadn't eaten at all that day. Starving and tired... and it showed on her face. The 22 year old looked ages older than she was, harsh lines under her eyes and a weathered expression. She'd placed so much pressure on her son to be potty-trained. He was only two though and still struggling to get a hang of it. He sniffled._

_"Mummy, I'm s-"_

_"It's okay. You- you had to go and we weren't near a bathroom. You tried to warn me. It's okay. You're okay. You did good."_

_She looked around the dingy public restroom, exhaling shakily. That was their last diaper. She had to go buy more, and then pads for herself, and worry about feeding the both of them. He hadn't eaten all day either. They wouldn't have enough for a motel._

_Shit._

_Gathering her boy up in her arms, she cooed gently, attempting a reassuring smile. He stared at her, not buying it for a second. He was too smart for his own good._

_Mara sighed heavily, gently bouncing him in her arms._

_"Come on. Why don't we find someplace to sleep?"_

_The shelters were at capacity. And it was quickly getting dark. Mara hugged him protectively, every passing second making alarms shriek in her head. There were many rules to being homeless in the city, but the number one was to not be caught alone outside at night with a fucking two year old._

_She slipped into an abandoned warehouse, her nose wrinkling at the musty smell. This would have to do. She tried to clean an area as best she could and dropped her backpack to the floor. She carefully laid down a blanket and motioned for him to get on top._

_He did as told, curling into a fetal position. His thumb went to his lips as he watched her, his eyes wide. Mara gave a tired smile, gently cupping his cheek._

_"Why don't you get some sleep, hm?"_

_He slowly shook his head, shrinking back in his much too-large shirt._

_"I'm hungry..."_

_She swallowed thickly._

_"I know. I know. Just- try, L, okay?"_

_He sniffled and nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. She stood guard, watching the shadows shift around her, her head echoing. So much had happened... Tom's death, her parents calling her out of wedlock baby a 'devil's child', unable to find a job because she had to take care of him... getting hooked up on drugs to cope whenever he was sleeping... Mara hung her head in her hands, the pressure weighing down and threatening to destroy her. Out of habit, she reached into her backpack, taking out a syringe and rolling up her sleeve. She loved L with everything, but... this was the only time she was relaxed or happy._

_Mara gaped, swaying as she injected herself, her lips twitching serenely. Fuck. That felt good._

_It only lasted a little while though, and soon she was feeling neurotic, her leg bouncing. L was a weight keeping her down... she didn't have anyone to take care of him. Mara shivered, tears rolling down her cheeks._

_Something snapped in her._

_Maybe it was the drugs or the sheer desperation and depression of her situation. She started gathering her things. She- she couldn't do this anymore. Her instincts were screaming at her to just run._

_She had to run._

_As she stood over L's sleeping form, her mouth felt like sandpaper. That's when she heard a train's horn. It wasn't completely unordinary, but something was... different... about it._

_The train zoomed into the warehouse and she gasped, shielding her eyes from the blinding light. It came to a stop in front of her, a door open enticingly. Her breathing came heavily, sweat rolling down her skin, still not completely sober. She could- she could stow away... get as far from here as possible... she glanced in L's direction, his stomach moving up and down as he snored quietly._

_Mara gave a soft sob. How could she stow away with him...? Taking care of him was so much... Mara shakily took a paper and pen, scratching L's name and tucked it into his sleeping arms. She doubted her parents would take him in, but it was always worth a shot._

_She straightened and looked back at the train, placing a foot on the bottom step._

L listened intently, his eyes wide. Mara sighed heavily, massaging her temple.

"Going through withdrawal on the train was a bitch. But... yeah. I never saw L again. I-I was young. That's no excuse but-... I guess there's only so much a person can take." She cleared her throat and shrugged, motioning towards the hall. "Come on, Ryuzaki. I'm pretty sure the door's somewhere down there."

She quickly walked away, swiping at her eyes.

L stood in the hallway, watching after her. He felt... hollow... like he couldn't move... L opened and closed his mouth, the words 'I'm L' dying on his lips.

She'd abandoned him. Had been planning to even before the train came.

He let out an incoherent sound, something welling in his chest. Unwanted. A burden... he made survival for her difficult... Mara stopped a few steps away and glanced back, tilting her head.

"You... coming, or?"

L looked at her in a daze. He slowly nodded, forcing a smile to his lips. He'd gone through Hellish foster homes, was told so many times that he was nothing, just a burden... and he'd finally gotten his confirmation.

"Uh yeah, yeah, sorry. Just thinking about something."

He moved forward, one step at a time. His heart felt tight. Did- did Light manage to write L's name in his notebook after all? He did feel like collapsing... Somehow he managed to stay upright and shuffle after her.

Light leaned back in the chair, sighing happily. This was everything he could ever ask for. The only thing missing was a passionate romance with a hot alien. _Heh, I'd rather kiss L though_.

...

Well that brought a fast, hard stop on his thought process. His cheeks heated up, going a bright red. Some of the denizens said something, but he ignored them, hopping to his feet. Okay, maybe... maybe he was ready to leave. That thought crossed his mind again... the notion of pressing his lips against L's cool ones, like how they kissed in the tent. He gave his crew a tight smile, moving to exit the bridge.

"Second in command, I leave her in your capable hands."

A large, blue octopus purred proudly and slithered for the captain's chair. Light sighed longingly. He was born to lead. Just not a spaceship. He idly wondered how Misa was doing as Kira. Compared to him, he didn't think much of her, but compared to the rest of the world, he'd admit she wasn't as... stupid... as she presented. Maybe she wouldn't be a horrible Kira while he was missing. He could only hope.

He went in the same direction as Mara and L. They were waiting by the red door, humming expectantly. Mara snorted, cocking her head teasingly.

"Oi, you done playing Captain?"

Light rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"Oh, please, I was born to do this."

Mara made a show of rolling her eyes and opened the door.

"Uh huh. We have three more cars. After that, I'm pretty useless as a guide."

Light nodded gratefully, flashing a dazzling smile.

"I see. Thank you. You've been a great help."

He glanced over in L's direction, noticing for the first time how... vacant... the man's eyes were. L was leaning against the wall and staring at the ground, his eyes distant. Light's brow quirked. He opened his mouth, but Mara pointed towards the next car.

"If memory serves, this one's a bit dangerous. I'll scope it out first."

Light nodded quickly, smiling politely. As soon as she left, he moved closer to L, hesitating.

"Um... Ryuzaki?"

"What?" L murmured bitterly.

Light faltered, staring at him. L pushed himself to his feet and faced Light, their faces inches away. They stared at each other, and Light couldn't help but be struck by... the absence of the man he knew... this wasn't the L he... he...

"Ryuzaki, what's going on?"

"Nothing."

Swaying forward, L's lips pressed into Light's, soaking up the other's warmth. He felt like shit. He just... wanted to feel good...

Light stiffened, recognizing this kind of kiss. The kind of someone who felt dead inside and just wanted to feel something. It's exactly what Kenji would do. He found himself gently touching L's shoulders and held him out.

"Ryuzaki."

"All clear!" Mara called out from the other car.

L flinched slightly, shrugging out of Light's grip. He held his arms and quietly left the car, following Mara.

Light watched after him, his throat tight.


	14. The Truth or Dare car

L tentatively touched a plant, marveling at the way light rippled where his finger made contact. It was beautiful, each ripple melting into a different color as it spread over the leaf. Mara smiled softly, touching another plant.

"Gorgeous, isn't it? Apparently they only light up for Passengers."

L didn't say anything, staring quietly at the ripples. He hadn't spoken in what felt like forever... but he also had to keep up appearances. He gave her a thin and tired smile, nodding.

"Incredible. I've never seen anything like them... this train must make you so happy. Happier than you would've ever been anywhere else."

Mara blinked at that, genuinely considering.

"I suppose? I try not to think about it."

A few paces behind them, Light sipped at his water, watching them warily. There was definitely a tenseness to them now that wasn't there before. And L... he was still... different. Empty. Hollow. Light bit his lip, hating that the notion made his chest tight. He... didn't like how L was acting. He missed the L he knew... and he hated that he missed him.

Sighing heavily, everyone put their things down and began gathering soft things to sleep on. Grass, moss, branches. It'd been a long day and this car was shockingly huge.

L stretched down, staring quietly at the grass. His body felt numb. Almost as if it were dead to the world. Mara was his mother... she'd abandoned him... there was a salty taste in the back of his throat, but he didn't move. He knew that if he moved a muscle, his defenses would crash. So he stayed stock-still, listening to the gentle fire Mara started. He felt someone approach and sighed softly, not wanting to talk to anyone.

"Ryuzaki."

"Light," he breathed.

"... Ryuzaki."

"What?" L grumbled, turning.

Mara had left the campsite, probably to find food. Whatever. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted. L wasn't a child. He didn't fucking need her.

Anymore.

Light's amber eyes shifted along with the firelight, giving them a golden quality. His voice dropped an octave.

"Did she hurt you somehow?"

Light could feel the watch on his wrist itching, the piece of paper inside begging to be used. If she hurt L, he'd... he'd... well. It's not like he knew her full name or anything anyway. L glared, his eyes hard.

"Even if she did, I wouldn't tell you."

The other pursed his lips at that. But it was clear L wouldn't talk about it. Biting his lip, Light retreated, stretching out.

L stayed awake for a while longer, listening to Mara return. She tended the fire, cooked some sort of meat and got some salad together. L knew he should've been sleeping. That was the smart thing to do. But his insomnia flared up, making sleep impossible. He shuddered, his eyes red. Just to hide it, he curled in on himself and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that even if he didn't fall asleep at least it could look like he was.

* * *

Mara beamed, motioning to the next car.

"After this car, I'm much less familiar with the train. I-"

She opened the doors and faltered, tilting her head.

"... Huh. You know, I actually don't know this car."

Light faltered at that, trying to see past her. It was just an empty, white room. His lips pursed.

"I don't like this."

L barked a harsh laugh, shrugging. His voice was bitter and frigid.

"It doesn't matter if we don't like it, does it? We can't change it."

Light stared, his throat dry. He caught his hand almost reaching out, but quickly withdrew it as if he'd been burnt, clearing his throat.

Mara's brow quirked, but she ultimately hummed in agreement, stepping into the room. Once they were all inside, the door shut behind them, the sound of a lock clicking into place. They all turned, collectively groaning.

A puzzle car.

L's head snapped towards the empty room, his voice a tired growl.

"Alright. What's your game, hm?!"

Almost as if answering him, three chairs rose up from the middle of the floor. They all froze... expecting the worst. Something dangerous and terrifying...

Confetti blew out from the top of the walls with a loud _pop_. They all yelped, instantly in fighting stances. Mara gaped at the confetti, tentatively holding out a hand for a few scraps to fall and rest on her palm. She turned the harmless pieces of paper over in her hand, chuckling weakly.

"... Huh."

A loud voice sounding a bit like a stereotypical girl boomed out, giving a light giggle.

"Ahhh Oh my God, hi! You here for the sleepover?"

L blinked.

"Um-"

"Ooh, ooh! Let's play Truth or Dare!" She squealed.

L and Light blanched at that, exchanging a look. Mara tilted her head curiously, her brow arched in interest. The disembodied voice continued, her voice excited and a little too friendly for L's tastes.

"Okay! So everyone sit down and each of you _has_ to do at _least_ one truth and one dare, 'kay? You'll ask the person to your left 'Truth or Dare?'-"

As she started explaining the rules to Truth or Dare, L tensed, sharing a look with Light. Asking the person to their left... Mara took the initiative, moving to one of the chairs and situating herself. L bit his lip. If he sat to Mara's left, he could ask Light anything. 'Are you Kira?' 'How were you planning on killing me?' 'How do we neutralize the death note?' On the flip side, if Light got to Mara's left... L's eyes widened a fraction.

Light could ask for his name.

Meeting Light's eyes and L instantly knew the other was thinking the same.

It turned into a mad dash. L's foot jutted out, kicking Light in the shin. Light let out a pained sound, crashing down. L started springing forward, but Light grasped L's ankle.

L gasped, sprawling onto the ground. He snarled, trying to kick Light's hand. Mara gaped, eyes flickering between them. She opened her mouth, but promptly closed it, obviously not wanting to get involved. Light bared his teeth determinedly, digging his nails into L's skin and pulling him back. They clamored over on another, scratching and kicking. L sank his teeth into Light's arm.

The younger's eyes popped and he let out an instinctual roar, rearing back and punching. L's eyes squeezed shut in shock, pain throbbing through his head as his scalp bounced off the ground.

L groaned, trying to roll to his other side. Light took the distraction and extra time, practically flinging himself into the chair on Mara's left. She stared at him, shifting uncomfortably. She hesitated, opening her mouth. Before she could say anything, Light lounged back, resting his chin in the cup of his hand and throwing her his best smile.

"We um, have a violent friendship."

She blinked, eyes darting around his face and she smiled in uncertainty.

Holding on to his nose, L grumbled, slumping to Mara's right. He shot Light a positively venomous glare, wincing as he sat. Mara leaned towards him, deep blue eyes sparked concernedly.

"... Are you okay?"

L faltered, shrinking under her gaze. It took all he had not to stutter as he nodded.

"Um... y-yeah... thanks..."

She smiled, her grin bleeding warmth and making his own chest warm as a result. He nodded slowly, his skin prickling. The bright, cheery voice came back, making them all flinch in surprise, looking around as she spoke.

"Yaaas, oh my god, this is so exciting! Okay, okay. So... ladies first!"

Mara tilted her head, turning herself in Light's direction. She cleared her throat.

"Truth or Dare?"

Light swallowed thickly, flashing a dazzling grin.

"Dare."

L snorted.

"You would."

Light tossed him a dirty glare, but the pleasant aura was back up just as quickly. Mara hummed, fiddling with her fingers thoughtfully. She snapped her fingers, eyes narrowing playfully.

"I dare you... to try and lick your elbow."

L tried not to roll his eyes, leaning back in his chair while Light tried. Eventually, Light achieved it and let out a triumphant sound. He chuckled, his eyes flashing in L's direction.

"Truth or Dare?"

L pursed his lips, his voice almost eerily steady.

"Dare."

Light's cocky smile made L want to kick it. Light leaned forward, his voice a purr.

"I don't know when but when we come across vegetables again, but I dare you to eat a gigantic salad."

L was about to retort... when a pedestal raised up from the ground. His eyes snapped in that direction, his eyes widening when a large salad materialized. It had everything he despised... broccoli, Brussel sprouts, kale, lettuce. His nose wrinkled, glancing between Light and the salad.

"... Fuck you."

He started shoveling food into his mouth, forcing himself to ignore the taste as he regarded Mara.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare."

"Mm. I dare you to give me one of your journals."

L chewed the lettuce slowly. Hell, if he was abandoned for her damn research, it was well within his rights to have a journal. She faltered, a film of confusion, anger and touches of sadness passing over her face.

"... And what if I don't want to?"

The second the words left her mouth, the white room turned red. The cheerful voice came back, her high and sweet voice now coupled with something more... demonic... L stiffened, already intimidated.

" _Then you die_."

Mara's eyes widened. She quickly reached into her backpack, regretfully holding out a journal. Her throat bobbed, hints of betrayal in her eyes.

"... Here. I hope you learn something new, Ryuzaki."

L snatched at it, holding it in his hands. He stared at the tattered, homemade cover. He nodded slowly, hugging the book to his chest.

"Thank you."

Mara still seemed unhappy, but she glanced at Light, her voice void of enthusiasm.

"Truth or Dare?"

Light's tongue felt heavy in his throat. He sank his teeth into his lip, forcing a polite smile.

"Truth."

Mara nodded, considering her question carefully. She shrugged nonchalantly, realizing there was really nothing she cared to learn about the boy. He was just a stranger who'd disappear from her life.

"Hm... have you ever gotten drunk?"

Light's brow quirked, a smirk playing at his lips. Easy. L almost scowled, but quickly schooled his features, glancing between them.

"Yes. When I was fourteen with my partner. No one knows about it though."

Mara gave him an impressed expression, humming.

"Not bad. You always came across as a goodie-two shoes to me."

Light gave a soft laugh, crossing his legs. His eyes went in L's direction, hungry for knowledge. There was a definite purr and taunting quality to his voice. It sent a shiver up L's spine, his eyes hardening.

"Truth," L growled before Light could have the satisfaction of asking.

"Alright, alright... What's your real name?"

Mara blinked in surprise, turning her attention towards L.

L hissed, his eyes murderous. He locked dark gazes with Light, challenging and angry.

"... You know it."

"Oh, really? Well I want to hear you say it."

L swayed on the chair, his vision swimming.

"L."

Mara inhaled sharply and straightened, her breathing quickening. Light stared.

" _Just_ L?"

"That's my first name," L snipped, his lips curling, "you never specified whether or not you wanted my full name."

Light huffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Figures you'd find a way around it... L?! L's your full first name? Who the fuck names their child L?"

Mara kept staring at L, realization and understanding dawning on her face. She went pale, her voice barely above a breath.

"... A person who was high when giving birth and who decided 'L' just sort of stuck."

L swallowed thickly, meeting Mara's eyes. A million things passed between them, the world seeming to fall away. He ignored Light, his grip on Mara's journal tightening. Light stiffened, looking between them, his own mind working. Was Mara L's...? Mara shuddered and averted her eyes, avoiding L's gaze. Her voice came out a soft, almost scared croak.

"... D-dare."

"You might as well pick truth or we'll be stuck here," L interjected.

She stared at her fingers, her leg jumping nervously.

"L-"

"Pick Truth."

She winced, squeezing her eyes shut.

"... Truth."

The hairs on the back of Light's neck stood from the tension, his gaze flitting warily between them. Holy shit... Mara was L's mother... L nodded slowly. Despite his best efforts, his voice wavered, his throat too tight and his vision clouded. He meant to sound commanding, but it came out a desperate, accusatory whisper.

"... Do you regret it? Leaving me behind?" His voice rose an octave, his body trembling, but he couldn't tell if it was from anger or hurt. "Did you _ever_ once regret abandoning me? Did it ever keep you up at night wondering what happened to me?!"

If he was thinking clearly, he'd have been appalled that his eyes had misted and gone red. Mara gaped, a tear moving down the bridge of her nose.

"Of course!" Her voice cracked. "You're my son! How- how could I not regret abandoning you?"

L's lip quivered. He opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, the white room turned red. Mara gasped, looking around as the voice boomed, hissing and deep.

" ** _Lies_**! _Lies, lies, **lies**_ **!** "

The ceiling slowly started moving down. Their eyes widened at the quickly shrinking room. L looked at Mara, his mouth hanging. The red light reflected off her body, making her blue eyes almost purple. They were glassy with a sheen on tears, her lips quivering.

"No! It's not a lie! L, I regret it so much. I-I-"

The ceiling started moving down faster. So fast that they all gasped, sliding off the chairs and to the floor. Above their heads, the chairs were buying them some time, but were cracking and squishing. L was shaking, a tear moving down his cheek.

"You _fucking_ liar!" He screamed.

Mara flinched, still shaking her head fervently.

"L, please-"

"Tell the fucking truth! I'm not dying because of _you_!"

Mara gasped and pitched forward, having to yell above the voice.

"I'm sorry! I don't regret it! I always felt guilty that I didn't... I'd lie awake at night wondering about you but knowing deep down that I'd never go back. And if I had the chance to do it all over again... I would've chosen to get on the train again." She softly sobbed, burying her face into her hands. "Oh fuck... I'm so sorry, L. I'm so sorry! I love you so much, but I just- I couldn't! I'm so sorry..."

At her words, the ceiling began to rise again, the color returning to white. The voice came back, chipper and pleasant.

"Thanks for playing! Come again!"

The exit clicked open.

Mara was still on the ground, her face hidden and her back shaking with cries.

"I do love you, I do love you, I do-" She mumbled quietly, rocking.

L stared at her, feeling such a turbulence that it was difficult struggling to his feet. He swayed unsteadily, his nostrils flaring.

"You _love_ me? That's rich. I bet you wouldn't even come with us!"

Mara looked up at him, her eyes lost and her cheeks tear-stained. She slowly shook her head, sighing heavily.

"L, I... this is my home."

She winced seeing that her number ticked up, shifting over 300 points.

L was surprised that he could feel even more hurt. There was a thick and profound silence, where no one said anything. As if any move would send the world crashing down. Light simply watched, unable to decide what to do. He didn't have to. L laughed bitterly, spitting at the ground in front of Mara.

"Good. Because I didn't want you coming along anyway. If I ever see you again, it'd be too soon."

He started marching for the exit. Mara flinched and sniffled, wiping at her eyes.

"L!"

He turned around and they looked at each other, both of them too afraid to say anything. Mara was the one who broke the silence, her throat bobbing.

"I should've realized before. You look so much like me and Tom. I just... 'Ryuzaki'. It never occurred to me- Please, just... let's just talk..."

L's mouth felt dry. He glanced in Light's direction.

"Let's go."

Light nodded in a daze, sidestepping Mara. She stood dejectedly, still swiping at her eyes.

Without looking back, L retreated from the car, truly feeling dead on his feet.


	15. The Drive-in Movie Car

_Away._

_Away._

L had to get away.

It didn't matter where. He'd walk all the way to the engine if it meant putting as much distance as possible between him and Mara.

Light cursed, struggling to keep up with L's breakneck pace. He himself was still reeling from the revelation. But every time he tried asking a question, L blew him off, snarling for him to mind his own business. Light wasn't use to this. Usually L was a patient and deflective person. He was blowing up at every little thing though, his voice vicious. The message was clear.

They marched through five rather large cars, not so much as taking a rest. Light shook his head, trying to step in front of L in a vain effort to slow him down. L's face twisted in disdain as he tried stepping around Light.

"L, stop."

"Don't call me that," L snapped, "you call me Ryuzaki."

Light's brow quirked at that, but he held up a peaceful hand, recognizing when to back off. _Okay, so he's going to stay pissy for a good damn while_. He wasn't even sure at some point how many cars they'd traveled, how much space was between them and Mara. A few weeks definitely had had to have passed. They did everything silently, lived isolated from each other and only interacted when necessary. But at some point, Light could have sworn that L was going to just drop dead where he stood. The circles under his eyes were the most pronounced Light had ever seen them. On the rare rest, L refused to eat and it was having a visible toll. His skin was so pale that it was ghostly and his cheeks concave.

Standing in front of a mirror, L hardly recognized himself. He still had Mara's journal tucked in the backpack. It felt like a weight on his back, dragging him back to her. Yet... he couldn't possibly consider getting rid of it.

L didn't care where he ended up, as long as it was far away from Mara.

He threw open the next car's doors. A drive-in theater? There were dozens of old-style cars parked and facing the screen. Some of them had silhouettes in the cars, denizens watching the movie. L didn't pay it any mind, already stalking through the rows, his eyes on the exit in the distance. Light grabbed his arm and L whirled, baring his teeth.

" _What?_!"

Light's face remained calm and even, his eyes holding L's.

"We've been going at a breakneck pace for weeks. One, I'm tired. Two, you look like you're about to keel over. Three, this car has a concession stand where we can stock up on food and vehicles we can sleep in. This is a good place to _stop_."

They glared at each other challengingly, neither budging. Exhaustion and hunger won out though and L swayed on his feet.

"A few hours," he answered gruffly, "after that, we're moving again. You get food."

Light tilted his head as L started searching for an empty vehicle.

Sighing, Light wandered over to the stand in the back, regarding the goblin denizen with a short nod. How in the Hell had he gotten used to the denizens?

"Hey, I'll take two hamburgers, two waters, a cookie, and... fifteen nonperishable foods, let's see..."

L found an empty car and slid inside, hissing out a breath. The radio was already tuned to the screen and he glanced at the movie, his brow quirked. It was a black and white romance with... goblins. Really badly acting goblins. L snorted, leaning back in his seat. He watched the lady goblin gasp dramatically and run away from her lover, sobbing about how her father would never approve the union.

Light came in, placing a tray between them. L automatically reached for the cookie, but Light swatted the hand away. He pointed to the second burger.

"I got two. You're going to eat one."

L pouted.

"But-"

"Just eat the fucking hamburger."

L made a show of rolling his eyes and grabbed it, taking a bite. The two of them ate in silence while watching the movie, biting their lips. Romantic music started playing and L sighed, sinking into his seat. The main characters started kissing, smashing their mouths together in the strange way old movies used to do it. L massaged his temple, his leg jumping out of boredom and... apprehension. Suddenly he was very much aware of Light quietly sitting about a foot away.

The silence was thick and heavy, only broken by the occasional chewing. It was so dark in the car too... L squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his chest tighten. He didn't like sitting for too long... it gave him time to think about Mara. And that made him want to curl up and die. He quietly put down his half-eaten hamburger and drew his knees up to his chest. So many horrible emotions swirling... drowning him... he glanced out of the corner of his eye. He knew Light was watching him just as he was watching Light. L shifted closer. _Just... just to feel good... just to feel good..._

Light was stock-still as L's lips pressed against his. The sound of kissing from the movie accompanied the soft sound of their lips connecting and disconnecting. Light's stomach flipped pleasantly, his heart rate picking up.

L slid his fingers through Light's chestnut locks, gently tugging at the strands. _Good... good... I just want to feel good_... He sucked on Light's bottom lip, letting out a quiet moan.

"Light," he breathed needily.

Light shivered, the sound sending heat through his limbs. He found his own fingers tangling in L's mop of black hair, digging towards his scalp. L gasped, keening into Light's touch. His lips moved to Light's neck, sucking and licking at the skin. Electricity shot to his fingertips and for just a second, he could fool himself into believing he was fine. Light's neck craned down and he licked a slow stripe along L's neck. L inhaled sharply, his fingers hooking into Light's shoulder blades.

It was awkward, but Light managed to clamor over L on the passenger side. L's eyes widened a fraction, realizing how much he needed Light inside of him. He exposed his pale, thin neck, his pulse fluttering wildly. Light stared at it hungrily, his amber eyes practically glowing in the low light. He found his mouth attaching to the delicate skin, a thrill racing up his spine. He grasped L's wrists, pinning them to the seat as he instinctually ground, his body on fire and an animalistic growl vibrating his throat.

Maybe in another life L would've protested being so immobile and powerless. But right now... He threw his head back, letting out a sinful moan and staring despondently at the ceiling. Light kept kissing at his neck, dragging his tongue over L's collarbone. L got lost in the splotches of dirt caked in the ceiling, the entire environment so surreal. His head pounded but he ignored it, his chest heaving.

Light made a husky sound, his pupils blown black. Were they really going to do this? Have sex in a car straight from the fifties? He almost chuckled, but focused instead on dragging his teeth along L's windpipe, not hard enough to hurt. One hand released L's wrist and danced downwards, slipping into the man's jeans.

L's mouth fell open when he felt Light's hand... warm and soft... wrapping around his cock. He squirmed, his nostrils flaring in desire.

"Light," he moaned. His own free hand started moving for Light's waistband.

He gripped Light, marveling at the size in his hand. Light groaned, his own grip on L tightening slightly. His hips rocked into L's hand on their own accord, his vision blurred.

"Fuck," he whispered, an itch just below his skin.

Seeing Light like that... L's insides twisted. He moaned softly, nuzzling Light's neck.

"Say you need me," L pressed.

"Oh fuck, I need you," Light chuckled, running a thumb over L's slit.

L shuddered, something heavy in the back of his throat.

"Say it again."

"I need you," Light sighed, licking up the side of L's face.

L's lip quivered.

"S-say it again..."

Light stopped and pulled back slightly. L was trembling, something almost desperate in his eyes. Okay, yeah, L was in no damn shape for sex. There was a haunted expression on that intelligent face, something pained that was much too close to Kenji for comfort. Light slowly withdrew his hand, locking gazes with the other.

"Ryuzaki-"

"What are you-"

"Maybe... maybe it's best if I sleep in another vehicle for a few hours."

L looked like he'd been kicked. _You're leaving me. Leaving, leaving, leaving. Please don't leave me. I don't want to be abandoned. You said you needed me_... He nodded, forcing a smile.

"Okay. Yeah. Sounds good. I'll um, heh, I'll be here."

Why was this making Light so uncomfortable? Back home, watching L like this would've been a triumphant moment. He would've never cared. L so defeated should've been a treat. So... why did he feel so uncomfortable? Like he wanted to... help...

Light swallowed thickly.

"Half an hour."

L blinked.

"Wh-wha-"

"For half an hour, I'm not Kira and you're not L. Nothing we say right now will leave this car."

L stared, eyes sparking in suspicion.

"... Why?"

Light bit his lip. Why? That was a good question. He rolled his shoulders.

"Think of it as a thank you for saving me from that spider."

L pursed his lips, obviously not believing him for a second. Light sighed heavily, looking into L's eyes. He smiled weakly.

"Cross my heart and hope to die?"

That brought a choked laugh from the other. L's throat bobbed, his eyes misting. He covered a hand to his mouth, his body trembling.

"... She left me..."

Light nodded. L could feel himself on the verge of falling apart, and he wasn't even sure if it was possible to stop it.

"I was two... and she _left me_. I- don't remember that much. S-so young. But... I know I was found wandering. Crying and looking for her." L's voice came out strained. "She left me. As if- I was nothing. Just a burden."

He tipped his head back, a broken, choked wail ripping his throat. L hugged himself, his breathing on the verge of hyperventilation.

Light gaped. No. No, he didn't like seeing L like this. They may love playing mind games together... but he didn't like seeing L like this. He found a hand slowly reaching out... and stroking L's hair... L sobbed, not even caring when he pressed into Light's hand. He shook his head.

"She- I-"

"I know," Light whispered soothingly, simply running his fingers through that hair.

It was greasy after having not been washed for a week or two. They probably both looked like absolute messes. L inhaled sharply. He let out a sound he didn't even know he could make, a deep guttural sob that made him squeeze his eyes shut.

"Why did she leave me?!" He gripped his bangs, welcoming the pain.

Light didn't say anything. A part of him was worried that no matter what he said, it wouldn't sound genuine. He wondered if it would be. And this... was so delicate and rare.

Neither of them knew how long they were like that, Light pressed to L and quietly playing with the man's hair. L kept breaking down, shaking and crying, so exhausted and hungry that he felt drained. L's eyes were red and puffed, his cheeks pale and tear-stained... at some point, Light looked up in surprise when he heard a soft snore. L had fallen asleep, his head tilted to the side.

Light watched those porcelain features. L's face was an enigma. Tired yet alert, his features sharp yet soft. He caught his hand almost brushing hair away from L's face. Sighing heavily, he started to move for his seat. As soon as he shifted, L started making soft sounds. Light stopped moving and winced. Once he stopped, L settled back down, his face going calm. Light's eyes moved his arm, wondering if his number had gone down. He wouldn't really be able to check until he could take his shirt off. He bit his lip, watching L sleep until he didn't even realize he himself had fallen asleep.

L's brow furrowed, trying to wake up. The sun never came up in this car, did it? He grumbled, looking up to see a new action movie was playing. His next realization was that Light was sprawled over him, the man's head resting on L's chest. He blinked, his cheeks heating up from the memories. He-he'd just been so tired. L hadn't been thinking clearly. He cursed inwardly, suddenly feeling trapped.

The other's eyes fluttered open. L held his breath, gunmetal grey meeting sleepy amber. Light watched him, the situation still not dawned on him. After a few seconds, his eyes widened and his cheeks went a bright tomato red. Light cleared his throat, fighting to get off of L.

"Oh hey, um, sorry, I- fuck."

L winced in pain and discomfort, squirming as Light pulled himself into the driver's seat. They sat in their respective seats quietly, neither daring to look at the other. L opened and closed his mouth, his chest... warm. Light glanced at him, tilting his head.

"How are you feeling? Want to keep moving? Want to still rest?"

L looked at him.

"... Why are you being nice to me?"

Light's jaw clamped. He didn't respond, averting his gaze. Was he twisting the fabric of his shirt? Shit. He exhaled, his lips twitching.

"Because no one hurts you but me."

That made L snort. He stared at Light before bursting out laughing and leaning back in the chair. His cheeks were flushed and he was still tired, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't feeling better. He stared at the roof, mulling over Light's words. There was truth to them. Maybe not the whole truth, but he never expected that from _Light_. He hummed in agreement.

"Ditto."

L grabbed the cookie.


	16. The Hotel Car

The sun never came up in the drive-in car. So after sleeping a while, they dusted themselves off, made sure their supplies were stocked, and left. L closed his eyes, feeling wind against his face. How could he do that? Break down in a car with Light literally sprawled over him? With _Kira_? Any show of weakness was unacceptable. A shiver raced up his spine, but he kept moving forward, not addressing it. He ignored Light, exuding iciness.

Light knew L was avoiding the situation, but he understood. He wasn't about to push. Hell, he wasn't even sure why he'd done what he did. He couldn't lose sight, no matter how long they spent on this train. Eventually, he'd kill L. He couldn't risk developing feeling. But... it was too late, wasn't it? He could already feel it- his heart contaminated. Poisoned and diseased with L.

They moved into the next few cars, the silence between them thick. Of course L would never tell him, but Light would wake up to see L tightly clutching Mara's journal to his chest. His chest would rise and fall and Light couldn't help but stare. Couldn't help but feel his stomach tighten. Why did he want to be there for L? Why did he feel such a deep rage towards Mara? He had the brief thought that if he knew her last name, he'd use the scrap in his watch to kill her. It was impossible to tell exactly what kind of life L had had, but it was obviously difficult. And Light didn't like the thought of that.

Just as much as he didn't like that he didn't like it. 

L opened the next doors and faltered. It was a gigantic, fancy hotel. Above them was a chandelier with thousands of little crystals. The floor had a deep scarlet carpet and golden walls. Light's jaw dropped, doing a small awed turn in the lobby. The denizens were these small 3-foot tall skeletons, laughing, talking, and bustling around the hotel. The corners of L's lips twitched. He always had trouble seeing Wammy's as home. His home was on the road, in hotels like these where he'd live for about a month before moving on. Light was balking, never having been in such an environment. It wasn't that his family was poor by any means, but a hotel like this? Never. 

A skeleton in a little bellhop outfit dashed up to them. It should've been impossible on a skeleton, but the little creature managed to smile brightly.

"Guests! How do ya do? Name's Tony, I can take care of any bags you might have!"

L bit his lip. Nope. He wasn't letting go of the backpack. Light seemed to have the same thought because he flashed one of his brilliant smiles.

"That's okay, Tony, but thank you. Help us to our room?"

Tony blinked and nodded rapidly, humming excitedly as he motioned for them to follow. They did, marveling at marble statues and immaculate paintings. As they walked, Tony chirped.

"La Maison Du Squelette was founded in 1832 and is one of the most glamorous on the train!" He shifted proudly on his feet.

They turned down a corridor and L brightened seeing the car's exit on his right. He tried the door and frowned. Locked? What kind of puzzle or game did they have to complete? Light pursed his lips, but didn't say anything, opting to continue following Tony.

The denizen stopped in front of a door and suddenly turned towards them, his voice intense.

"Just be careful... this hotel has a penchant for... _murder_!"

Thunder sounded from somewhere.

L's brow quirked.

Light tilted his head.

"Oh my. How terrifying."

L nibbled on his thumb, watching Tony.

"You want me to catch the murderer?"

Tony sputtered, looking between them. He scratched his bald head, seemingly at a loss. He probably wasn't used to Passengers being so blasé about the thought of murder or being so willing to take the case.

"Um... sure. Thanks." He cleared his throat and turned back to the room. "Well. This is yours... just call if you need anything!"

They gave the denizen a reassuring smile, watching the little skeleton run away. L turned his attention towards Light.

"I'm guessing solving the murder mystery is the puzzle?"

Light nodded.

"Sounds about right."

L made a sound of agreement and opened their hotel door. He smiled softly, memories of Watari floating through his brain. All the little rituals they used to have when going to a new hotel. Watari would always try to make it an occasional, try to make it special. Racing forward, L practically launched himself onto the bed, his lips twitching. Light scowled, throwing a hand up.

"Hey! You smell like shit! I can't even begin to imaging how expensive that is!"

L snickered, nuzzling into the soft pillow.

"This. I like this."

" _Ryuzaki!"_

Exhaling in annoyance, a chuckle forced its way out of Light. In truth, he couldn't blame L. He didn't sit on the bed yet. Looking through the closet, he made a pleased sound, pulling out dress shirts and well-tailored pants, the fabric smooth and soft against his hands. Clothes that weren't dirty and soaked in sweat? Yes, please.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a shower. Get off the bed, Ryuzaki, you haven't taken one in like two weeks either."

He gently swatted at L's leg. L let out a weak protest, but grumbled as he rolled off and waited on the floor, flexing his feet.

Light stepped into the shower and sighed as warm water hit his skin. Shit. It'd been so long since he'd had a genuine shower in an honest-to-God bathroom with tiles and walls and crap. The last time he'd bathed was under a freezing waterfall in a forest car. This was much preferable. Wrapping the towel around his body, his skin tingled, screaming in joy for finally being cleaned and refreshed. He was a creature of comfort and grooming. Unfortunately, the train didn't exactly lend itself to that lifestyle.

He came out wearing the clothing from the closet and feeling once more like he could reenter society. Light stretched languidly, lavishing in the clean fabric. L watched him from the floor. He was feeling gross too and seeing Light, his hair dripping and his skin practically glowing sent his palms sweating. Sighing, L sifted through the closet, coming out with a white dress shirt and straight black pants. He inspected them quizzically before deciding they were adequate and entered the bathroom.

Light smiled contently, stretching out on the bed and listening to L's shower running. He looked around the spacious room and grinned, a thrill going up his spine. He felt like a little kid, bouncing and wanting to bask in the elite luxury of it all. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he was off the train and back home. Where everything was normal and made sense.

L looked shockingly good in the clothes. The pants were more trimmed, giving him better definition to his legs. His shirt wasn't overtly baggy, fitting him quite well. Light's cheeks warmed when he realized he was staring and averted his gaze. L approached the bed, flopping down. Light folded his hands behind his head and regarded L with a serene grin.

"Mm. Beautiful. You stay in a lot of places like this?"

L nodded, situating himself on top of velvet sheets.

"I pretty much live in hotels. Have ever since my career took off."

Light listened in interest. He tried lounging back as well, feeling out of place among all the expensive cloths.

"I couldn't imagine living in hotels."

"I wouldn't expect you to. You grew up in a relatively normal household," L said, reaching towards the nightstand for the room-service menu.

Light nodded slowly, glancing over L to scan the menu. Damn, it all looked good. Just reading made his mouth water in anticipation.

"Valid. What about you? What was it like growing up?" At L's expression, Light held his hands up peacefully. "Not looking for specifics. Just generals."

L's brow furrowed, the suspicion never leaving his eyes. He went back to the menu, his eyes naturally falling on the dessert section. He off-handedly answered while reading the delicacies' various descriptions.

"Bounced around some nasty foster homes for a few years. There's only one place that I might consider a home, but..." L trailed off. Wammy's had been a Hellhole on its own. Not because the adults didn't try or care. It was just difficult living among thirty other orphans, each one just as traumatized as the last. L shrugged. "I haven't stayed there in a long time though. I guess I've never been good about staying in one place too long."

Light tilted his head as he listened. L cleared his throat and picked up the phone, ordering a chocolate lava cake with a side of fig sherbet. Okay, that sounded amazing. Light placed his own order, some kind of fish, and they settled back, staring at the ceiling. Light snorted.

"So. How much do you want to bet that in a few hours, we're going to hear someone scream because they found a body?"

L smirked.

"That better happen. It's been ages since I've investigated a murder."

Light laughed, the sound magical and sending L's stomach tightening. Huh... Light was so close and he smelled so good. Beyond the body wash. It was just his natural scent... L looked over him, his heart skipping. It'd be so easy to just... reach out...

Light wasn't faring much better either. Here on the bed with L... the thought crossed his mind before he could stop it. _I wonder if he's loud or quiet_. A shiver raced up his spine and Light had the urge to find out. He craned his neck, his face inches from L's and feeling the other's warm breath.

L's heart pounded and he found himself wetting his lips. Before they could make contact, there was a shrill shriek just as Light predicted.

They whirled to face each other, both of their eyes excited as they gasped out at the same time.

"Murder!"

Indeed, it was a murder. Bloodless, but a murder nonetheless. The denizen skeleton had a knife lodged into her ribs. She was sprawled out across the floor of her room, her jaw slack. All around her was a small crowd. L cleared his throat professionally, making his way through the circle and inspecting the body.

"Hm."

God, he missed this. As he looked over her, Light inspected the scene and tried to disperse the crowd. It took some doing, but everyone eventually grumbled and left.

L's thumb swirled around his lips thoughtfully, inspecting the knife. Unlike everything else they'd seen in the hotel thus far, it was relatively normal and plain, something anyone could find.

"Staff." He said instantly.

Light grunted. He dragged a finger through some powder on the ground, rubbing it between his fingers in interest. It smelled... spicy. He and L deadpanned, looking at each other.

"Kitchen staff."

A part of L wished the game was harder, more mentally stimulating. But at this point, he'd take what he could get. It made sense that the case wouldn't be impossible. Not everyone was on his and Light's level. They made their way down the extravagant stairs, attracting attention and compliments. L slid a hand through his hair, trying not to let his chest puff out too much. Normally, he wasn't one for changing his outfit, but it was different when he'd been _forced_ to wear the same thing.

This case would be solved in no time.

The kitchen staff was working on room service orders, everyone loud and busy about. L leaned against the doorframe and lowered his voice.

"I'll try to find out who was delivering room service on that floor. You find out what spice that is."

Light subtly nodded and made his way over to the chef, giving a disarming smile and complimenting the skeleton's cooking skills.

The interviews went relatively well. They'd narrowed the suspect list to one of the waiters, Cady, and Tony, who had both been on that floor. Light held up a much too-large magnifying glass, turning it over in his hand.

"Check out what I found in the storage closet," he chuckled.

L's lips curved in amusement. He rested his chin in the cup of his hand.

"Funny, that should be mine. Last time I checked, you weren't the world-famous detective."

Light made a show of sticking his tongue out. He was enjoying himself. Solving these kind of mind games with L... if he'd never picked up the death note, he could've seen himself doing this with the detective for a living. Eh, without chasing Kira L probably wouldn't have shown any interest in him anyway. Still. It was interesting to speculate.

They talked to Tony next. But at the time of the murder, he'd been in the main lobby helping to carry luggage. There were multiple witnesses. Cady claimed to have left the cart of food and had been on her way back to the kitchen. No alibi.

L leaned back in his chair, tapping at his chin. He suddenly blinked and glanced at Cady, his mind working.

"Do you bleed?"

Considering they were all skeletons, it never crossed his mind that the denizens might bleed. Cady blinked in surprise and nodded. As if proving her point, she bit on her thumb, hard enough to draw a speck of blue blood. Light inhaled sharply, glancing through the magnifying glass. L wanted to take the damn thing away.

"There wasn't any blood on the floor or anything of that nature," Light murmured.

L had to agree with his comrade. From somewhere came another clap of thunder and L could swear he heard noir music in the background. He gasped and hopped to his feet, large grey eyes flickering in consideration.

"Light. If Cady left the cart and the victim ate, and then the crime scene was spotless..."

"Cleaning staff!" Light cried out, grinning triumphantly.

L's chest drummed proudly. It was nice being with someone who was on the same page. Turned out a guy named Ben had been cleaning that floor. As L talked to the skeleton, Light went over the man with his eyes. Ben's story was that when he took the cart down to the kitchen, the victim's room had been empty. He leaned back in his chair, saying airily how the victim must've come back after he'd already left.

Light's lips curled, his voice going saccharine.

"Oh, is that true? Then mind explaining why you have a spot of blue blood on your shoe?"

Ben's eyes widened and he shifted nervously. L's toes wiggled anxiously, unable to stop the grin spreading over his face.

"You did it. But then, why? Was it a robbery gone wrong?" L's eyes flickered over him and he chuckled. "No... you were having an affair with the victim, weren't you? You've had some alcohol, albeit not a lot, and you have the distinct smell of perfume. I'm sure if we look in her room, we'll find the same perfume."

Ben was practically sweating at that point, looking wildly between them. He whimpered and cracked, tipping his head back.

"Okay! Okay, it was me, I confess!"

L gave a victorious cheer, his insides warm and filled with purpose. He was still justice. Even on this crazy, Alice in Wonderland style train, he was still justice. Police skeletons took over. L and Light looped arms, already making their way back to their room. It'd only taken them an hour to solve, but they were both high on it. Some deep need temporarily fed and satiated.

As they passed the car's exit, the lock clicked open. They stared at it for a few seconds. It wouldn't do to become stagnant on their journey... yet at the same time... Light started pulling L for their room.

"There's no rule saying we have to leave immediately, right? That was fun... I think we deserve a reward. Or at least some fun."

L nodded sagely, following the other, his pulse racing and electrified.

"Agreed. These sort of things call for a celebration."

By the time they reached their room, their cart of room service was waiting out in the hall. Light inhaled the explosive smells, his chest quivering. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen a dish of food so fancy. And this room... He risked looking in L's direction, over the man's strangely handsome features.

L met the expression, feeling his resolve waver. No. No, he couldn't get involved with Light. Sex was a line he couldn't cross.

But...

Damn, was he still riding on adrenaline. And Light was right there, smoking amber eyes set and dark with their own rush. L swallowed thickly, pushing the cart inside. He swirled a finger through the chocolate and looked at the other, slowly licking the chocolate off his finger. _Don't do it. You're just drunk on mental stimulation_.

 _Fuck it_.

L surged forward, pulling Light into a consuming kiss.

Light gasped and tangled his fingers into L's hair, tugging on the strands.

L lost his footing and stumbled back as Light pushed him towards the bed.


	17. The Hotel Car part 2

_This is probably the worst idea you've ever had_ , L's brain screamed at him.

And yet... he couldn't stop. Light's mouth tasted sweet and fresh to L's sugar-starved tongue. He wrapped his arms around Light's neck, feeling the soft mattress hit his back. _Figures detective work's what makes you horny_. L's lips curved at his own thoughts, but it didn't distract him from continuing to kiss those lips. Warm, soft lips... Light scrambled on top, his weight pressing down on L's slight frame as he gave a soft needy sound.

"We shouldn't do this," Light breathed, his pupils dilated.

L swallowed thickly, not answering at first. Whatever this was between them, it made him feel good. After months of this shitty train, meeting Mara and being cut off from the rest of the world, L didn't really care what they should or shouldn't do. He wanted Light. Had never wanted anyone more, not even B. L wanted every inch of that body. He wanted Light to tell him sweet nothings, even if they'd be sweet lies. He wanted Light to look at him like L mattered. Like there was someone who cares. L tilted his head, his voice low and dripping.

"... Do you want to stop?"

Light's veins were on fire. Looking down at L, he idly wondered how badly the man was still suffering after Mara. At least he wasn't sobbing and basically begging Light to need him. He wanted to reach out, run his hands through those dark strands, kiss all of that marble skin...

"No," he whispered, leaning forward and capturing L's lips.

The other moaned, opening his lips and accepting Light's tongue. The kiss was consuming, taking away each others' breaths and igniting something. He wrapped his arms around Light, hooking his nails into Light's shoulder-blades. Light leaned into the spindly fingers, his nostrils flaring with desire. His neck craned and his lips attached to L's neck, harshly sucking and nipping at the skin. L gave a small yelp but didn't make a move to stop him. He tangled his fingers into Light's hair, a burning itch just under his skin.

"Light," he whined, throwing his head back.

That mouth kept working, his tongue darting out and running along the front of L's throat. Light ran his hands up and down L's front, a dazed, primal part of his brain wanting to just rip it all off then and there. Tear the clothing to shreds and mark L. Claim him. He slipped his hands under L's shirt, his fingers curling against L's quick breathing. L gently scratched down Light's back, not hard enough to hurt but definitely to egg on.

L's mouth went to Light's own shoulder, shifting the shirt and dragging his teeth against golden skin. He had the vague thought that Light had to have been made directly by the sun. He was so hot and dazzling that there couldn't possibly be another explanation. L tugged on Light's hair, growling softly.

"Tell me what you want," he rasped.

Light's mouth fell open, his cock straining against his pants, so hard it almost hurt. He locked gazes with L, his voice low and commanding.

"I'm going to fuck that smart mouth."

L shivered but nodded eagerly. They shifted, Light's back against the headboard so he could watch. L's mouth hovered over the bulge, breathing warm air through the fabric. Light's hips were already rolling in anticipation, following every one of L's motions. The man's movements were agonizingly slow as he slid down Light's pants and underwear. Light's erection sprung free, red and already dripping. L snickered.

"Mm, I haven't even done anything yet."

"Oh shut up," Light chuckled, biting his lip.

L snorted. He tentatively licked at the head, drawing a ragged moan from the other. Smirking, L suddenly took in the cock, feeling it brush the back of his throat.

Light gasped, intertwining his fingers into L's hair and digging in to the man's scalp. They seemed to groan in unison and Light's hips rocked needily. L clawed down Light's thighs, stilling him and going at his own pace. That tongue... oh, that fucking tongue, started working on him, curling and lapping at Light. The tongue that could tie cherry stems. Every suck and lick brought a lewd sound spilling from Light's lips. L's eyes fluttered, drool pooling in the corners of his mouth. He settled and bobbed his head, meeting Light's eyes.

Light gave an experimental thrust, groaning at how wet and tight L's throat around him was. L gave a heated expression, taking the thrust. He squeezed Light's thigh, urging for more. More thrusting, more sounds, more everything. He needed everything. Light started thrusting steadily, gripping L's hair so tightly that it burned his scalp. L couldn't breathe, but he didn't mind. It was such a stimulating sensation... being at Light's mercy as he fucked his mouth. His mind swam, getting lost in the feeling of Light slamming into the back of his throat.

Throwing his head against the headboard, Light let out an obscene sound and seized. Just the sight of L's hazy expression, drool dripping out and his hair tussled made Light's come. It was an explosion that left his legs quivering. He panted, riding it out in L's mouth. Light's thumb gently rubbed L's chin and tipped the detective's head back.

"Swallow."

L's eyes sparked but he obeyed, taking in as much as he could, swallowing and breathing heavily. He practically collapsed on top of Light, just trying to catch his breath. He shivered when he felt Light's fingers skimming down his back and slipping under his pants. L gasped when one of Light's fingers danced around his hole, not quite entering, yet teasing.

He groaned, burying his face into Light's chest and giving a string of incoherent pleas.

"Fuck. Light. Light-"

His back arched, his mouth falling open when Light plunged a finger inside of him. It'd been so long since someone had touched him so intimately. He rocked back on the finger, whimpering and quivering. Fuck. Fuck, it was just one finger. Fuck, fuck, fuck. L sank his teeth into Light's shoulder as a distraction. Light chewed his lip against the spot of pain, his grip on L tightening as he added a second finger, getting more and more excited.

"No lube," he panted in alarm.

"Vaseline," L's voice was strained and tight, "backpack... F-from market."

L's body felt boneless as he bent over the edge of the bed, reaching for the backpack. The movement sent Light's fingers deeper and the other added a third, drawing a yelp from L. While L looked, Light took the opportunity to remove the other's pants, discarding them in a random direction and continuing to finger-fuck him. L's fingers fumbled as he shakily brought out the petroleum jelly. Light grabbed it, his fingers still twisting and curling inside the other. L shuddered, his eyes squeezed shut as he ground into Light's fingers.

Light slathered the jelly onto his fingers and carefully ran it along L's walls, drinking in the sounds he elicited. L was his. No one but him could make L sound like this. It didn't matter if L had had relations with someone else. In Light's mind, he was the only one who could make the man like this.

A sobbing, begging mess. And he loved it.

He pressed down on top of L's back. A hand snaked around, gripping L's member. L inhaled sharply, his head going back and resting in the crook of Light's neck, his throat bobbing with adrenaline. Light nuzzled him, his breath blowing gentle wisps across L's ear.

"How much do you want it?"

"Fuck me," L panted, trying to grind back, just for Light to stay just out of reach.

"So eager," Light purred, his lips twitching, "Look at you. I haven't even fucked you and you're a mess for me. I can't wait to see you completely fall apart."

L laughed breathlessly, his eyes blown black with lust but his voice thick with challenge.

"Then why don't you fuck me... _Kira_?"

Well, that definitely did things to Light. His eyes widened, his nostrils flaring with need. Pfft, brat. A low blow, but effective. He positioned himself at L's entrance, his hand still squeezing and pumping the man's cock. L gripped at the bedsheets, his knuckles white with how harshly he held it.

Light slowly entered and he thought he himself might fall apart. It felt amazing, tight around him. Intoxicating. His free hand grasped L's hip, his grip bruising. He wanted it to be bruising. He wanted to leave dark marks in that ghostly pale skin. Marks that could've only come from him. He stayed still until he felt L get used to him.

L felt so full. Complete. They fit together so well it should've been a crime in and of itself. L laughed weakly, wondering what it meant that it felt so good having a murderer's cock inside of him.

Pulling out to the tip, Light slammed back in. L moaned, pulling the bedsheets so hard that his nails hurt. Light nipped at L's ear, running his tongue along the shell before pulling L back into another thrust.

" _Fuck_." L cried out.

Light grunted. He dragged his tongue along the nape of L's neck, thrusting more steadily.

"Oh God," L gasped, his chest heaving.

"That's right," Light responded huskily, beyond caring about appearance or secrets, "I am your god. Call me your fucking god!"

L tried to meet Light's thrusts, but Light held him steady. His hips slapped against L's, his other hand pumping L at a punishing speed.

"L, I'm going to make you come so many times that you'll be nothing when I'm done with you. Do you hear me, L?!"

Hearing his real name from those lips... L scratched down the headboard, nodding rapidly. He wanted that. Fuck, did he want that. The bed creaked with Light bucking his hips, the thick air of the room heavy with sex and sweat.

"Kira... Light you feel so good. Fuck. Ahh... Ahh..."

L bounced with the force, trying anything to get Light deeper. So close... he was so close and the world was just filled with Light, his hips flush against his and that dick moving inside of him.

"L, I'm going to- fuck, you're so hot. _Shit_."

Light's muscles tensed and he roared L's name, his hips jerking sporadically. He came, filling L with stickiness and warmth.

It felt amazing. L's eyes went wide yet unfocused, his body blazing. Light's thumb ran over his slit, still pumping.

"Oh my G-... _Light_ -"

He came between Light's fingers, everything spinning. His limbs were shaking and he practically collapsed onto the bed. Light had... definitely achieved his goal. L felt fallen apart and absolutely ruined. His throat hurt from the blowjob and he was fairly certain that Light's nails had drawn blood from his hip. Not enough to be alarming, but it stung. Through it all though, he felt... content. L turned his neck so he was looking up at Light, still on the high.

Light met those large charcoal eyes, basking in his own afterglow. He made a show of bringing his fingers up to his mouth and licking L's come, his stomach flipping pleasantly. Sweet and bitter at the same time. Just like L.

L watched Light lick his come, definitely enjoying the view. Light sucked on one of is fingers before taking it out with a _pop._ His eyes went to L's lips. Thin and handsome. He had the strongest urge to kiss them. Really kiss them. Something tender and sweet in contrast with what they just did.

He wanted something real.

He hesitantly reached out, stroking L's hair, combing his fingers through the strands and marveling at it. L didn't move, watching him.

Light's fingers stilled and something pounded in his chest. He slowly craned his neck down, but before their lips could make contact, L slightly turned his face away. Light blinked, surprised by a sting of hurt. He ignored it though, instead opting to stretch out beside L, still toying with the man's hair. Light stared at the ornate ceiling, taking in the gold and all the little details.

"That was incredible," L chuckled, exhaling.

Light hummed in agreement, utterly spent.

They weren't sure how long they sat there, their bodies aching yet satisfied. For the first time, L was so ready to fall asleep. He was used to staying up until his body crashed. This definitely... expedited... the crash. He went groggy, sweat making hair stick to the back of his neck and putting the entire room in a calm heat. Light's voice surprised him, making him sluggishly try to hold on to consciousness.

"... Do you ever think about what we could've been if we weren't pitted against each other?"

L's throat went heavy. He had. So many times. He shifted closer, resting his ear on top of Light's heart. L listened to the steady beating, internalizing it.

"It'd never work between us," he whispered.

Light stiffened. He didn't like being told something was impossible. 

"Why not?"

L looked at him, his lips inches away. He seemed to consider, opening and closing his mouth. The man tilted his head.

"... Have you ever heard the story of the scorpion and the frog?"

Light's brow furrowed before he shook his head. L went back to resting his head on Light's chest, his body exhausted. His voice came out a tired mumble, so quiet that Light had to strain to hear it.

"It's an old fable... Russian, I think. A scorpion wanted to cross a river. If it tried, it would've drowned, though. He saw... saw a frog and asked if he could ride its back across.

'I can't let you on my back. You'll sting me and then I'll die', the frog protested."

L yawned, sliding his fingers up Light's stomach and cuddling against him. Almost as if they were lovers.

" 'No, I wouldn't,' the scorpion replied, 'If I stung you, then we'd both drown.'

The frog... frog considered this for a moment and agreed. The scorpion got on its back and the frog started swimming. Halfway across, it felt a sting and venom coursing through it.

'Why'd you do it?' The frog asked. 'Now we'll both drown.'"

L started dozing off. The last line came out a breathy whisper.

"'I'm sorry,' the scorpion said, 'I couldn't help it... It's in my nature.'

They both drowned."

Light listened intently and stared ahead, everything feeling off. Was L saying... killing was Light's nature? That he'd always kill L no matter what side they were on? He shook his head, finding the idea... uncomfortable...

"Ryuzaki-"

L was already asleep, nestled in Light's body heat.


	18. The Pirate Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know, sea shanties have seemed to be gaining traction? XD (At least they were like two weeks ago lmao). This was the song I used. It's basically living rent-free in my head:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KO7cofMJH0
> 
> This has a violin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgsurPg9Ckw

Unsurprisingly, L woke up first. He blinked, slowly looking at Light's sleeping features. Light looked so serene, hair fallen softly across his face as he quietly snore. The question from last night swirled in his brain. What _could_ they have been? Partners both in job and life? Working together and giving each other the kind of mental stimulation they craved? He always tried so desperately not to think about it, but it kept bugging him.

He couldn't let Light get too close though.

No matter how much he wanted to.

He had the greatest urge to just reach out and sift the hair away. Never stop taking in all the little details. What was up with him and fucking murderers? It didn't exactly end well last time... he shuddered, shoving the thoughts away. B had been dangerous on so many levels. And yet when they were... 'dating'... L always told himself that he had the situation under control. That he didn't have to worry about B. He sighed softly to himself, still not moving and watching the rise and fall of the other's chest.

L wasn't sure how long he sat there staring until Light's own eyes fluttered open. He blinked, locking gazes with L and not saying at first. L swallowed thickly, his lips twitching awkwardly.

"Um... good morning..."

"Is there even a morning in this car?" Light chuckled, shifting just as awkwardly.

Last night had been... incredible. The way they fit, the great detective L's face as it twisted and contorted, all because of Light's actions. Last night made him feel... powerful. It sent a surge of adrenaline through Light's body, directly to his cock.

L snorted, humming in agreement.

"Heh... yeah."

Should they talk about last night? Hm. Talking honestly wasn't exactly their strong suit.

They looked at each other. This... was going to be the start of something, wasn't it? Something they couldn't control, not that they'd want to. Light crashed his lips against L's, savoring the other's warm breath. L returned the rough kiss, their tongues tangling and mapping out each others' mouths. Before he knew what was happening, Light was rolling on top of him, moaning and pinning L's wrists...

* * *

It really did unlock something inside of them. Whenever they got the chance to sneak away and hide from prying denizen eyes... Light was pounding into L. Other times, L rode Light, his hands planted on that chest, Light's number illuminating them as he slammed down on his dick. They became familiar with each others' bodies. Their smells, tastes, what to do to make the other completely fall apart. In the back of his mind, L knew he'd never been so connected with someone. It had never felt like _this_. Like he was addicted to Light being inside of him.

...Like he wouldn't know what he'd do if he lost Light...

He quickly shoved that thought away. He should've been focused on how to get his number to zero. Not about Kira. And yet... L found himself neglecting to check his number, ignoring it and stuffing his hand into his pocket whenever possible.

They were in a world made of pillows, isolated in their own little fort. L's legs were wrapped around Light's waist, his sweaty face pressed into Light's shoulder. He felt boneless already having come two times. Light was thrusting easily, his eyes trained on where they connected. Where his dick slid in and out, making wet slapping sounds.

L breathed heavily, whispering dirty nothings against Light's ear.

"Fuck, Kira you feel so good. Ooh, just like that... fuck... _fuck_! Fuck, _Kira_!"

Light smashed L into some pillows and came, his chest heaving. His limbs ached in the best way possible, burning in a satisfying way. L was his.

Almost as if proving that point, Light attached his lips to the side of L's neck. L's eyes widened a fraction, but he didn't make a move to stop him as the other gently bit and sucked, leaving behind a dark hickey.

L's lips twitched amusedly. He was racking up quite the collection of those all over his body. Some were in places only Light would ever be able to see. An obscene moan vibrated his throat when Light carefully pulled out, both of them over-stimulated and drained. The come slid down and cooled against L's thigh, leaving him a quivering, panting mess.

He sluggishly reached for his jeans, tugging them on. It was fine. This... was just a way for them to release pent-up hormones. All biological. L gave his back, inwardly cursing as the slight fumble between his fingers and the zipper. Just bio- he straightened when Light came up from behind, idly cupping his ass. His chest drummed, instinctively pressing into the kneading hand. Light's lips found their way to his jawline... and then to his lips.

Just like that, fire raced through his veins, burning his limbs and smoking his thoughts. This was so dangerous. Why was he doing this? Why did he like this? Why did he always want Light to touch him like this? They'd kissed before, but lately every time Light kissed him, it was more... tender. If L didn't know better, he'd say more genuine. Almost as if Light was committing and actually saying something with the kiss. A shiver of panic raced up his spine. Too close. Too-

"Don't touch me," his voice snapped out harsher than he intended.

Light blinked in surprise. His lips pursed, but he shrugged, averting his eyes.

"Sorry," he grumbled.

L winced. He opened his mouth, not sure what to say. Before he could think of something though, Light stalked out of the little fort, leaving L sitting there, a definite tremor in his fingers. He stared at the pillow ground, clenching and unclenching the fabric, guilt pecking at his brain.

"Fuck," he hissed, hanging his head between his knees. _I can't develop feelings. I can't._

They went on, glancing at each other every few seconds. On the bridge between cars, L gently grasped Light's sleeve, tugging on it. Light's eyes went in his direction, moving from L's face to the man's fingers on his sleeve. He hummed.

"Ryuzaki, it's okay if you just want it to be physical."

"... You want it to be more?"

Light's cheeks burned. He rolled his shoulders, trying to put up a nonchalant air.

"Nothing between us has _ever_ been simple. I think I was naturally expecting the sex to have a deeper meaning, but it's a refreshing change." _Not to mention, I'll have to kill you when we get back. It's for the best._

L tilted his head, considering. True. Just a tennis game somehow became a deep psychological battle. His brow furrowed.

"... You're really okay with it just being physical? No lies."

"Yeah," Light lied anyway. "What, you think I fell for the man who's accused me, imprisoned me, and handcuffed me to him? Get real, Ryuzaki."

L bit his lip. Light shot a reassuring smile, pulling his arm away and going for the next car.

The door opened to a pirate ship. Light balked and chuckled, his heart skipping pleasantly.

"No way. This is awesome."

L gaped and grinned. The door was against the back of the ship. The exit was to the front of the ship, all the way against the head.

The ship itself... well... the pirates were all giant three-foot tall parrots dressed up and barking out orders to each other, flying between the masts and tending to the ship. L stepped more into the car, getting a face of sea-breeze and the smell of rum and old wood. Light moved to the railing, looking out over crystalline blue waters, wind whipping through his hair. He beamed, head whirling in L's direction.

"Pirates!" He practically squealed.

L laughed and nodded enthusiastically. Up ahead, a parrot in a captain's hat flapped over, landing on curved, black talons. It squawked, glancing between them.

"Pretty pretty Passengers. Want a cracker?" It held a cracker up between one of his talons, tossing it over.

Light caught it easily, crunching down on it. He leaned against the railing, his eyes sparkling as he nodded gratefully.

"Aye, very good, thank you."

L couldn't help the teasing smirk.

"Aye?"

Making a show of rolling his eyes, Light gently smacked L's arm, not hard enough to hurt. The captain turned to the rest of the ship and straightened, its voice carrying.

" _Squawk_ , get your measly carcasses together, _squawk_. We have guests!"

That made the parrots stop what they were doing. They all started clamoring excitedly, flying around L and Light and murmuring amongst themselves. L waved, his cheeks warm from the attention. The captain hopped towards the wheel, holding it with one foot as he talked to them.

"Sugar, tea, rum. Sugar, tea, rum. Stay as long as you like!"

L perked up at that. The ship was transporting sugar? _Don't mind if I do_. The two of them were ushered below deck and taken to guest quarters by a younger parrot. It smiled shyly, looking between them.

"I hope you like it," he cooed, "tonight, we're going to have a big celebration! Rum and singing and a feast!"

"Sugar?" L coughed under his breath.

Light chuckled.

"Ooh, yes! We have plenty of sugar," The parrot beamed. "I'll be swabbing the deck if you need me!"

They thanked him and watched him disappear. L flopped back on the bed, getting comfortable.

"Sugar. I can get used to this place."

Light nodded and slowly moved towards L, crawling over him. Their lips hovered a few inches away, their hot breaths mixing. L's tongue darted out and flicked against Light's bottom lip, his eyes heated.

"But of course, that's still a long ways away."

Light nodded sagely, his fingers already skimming L's abdomen under his shirt.

"Of course. Whatever shall we do until then?"

L wrapped his arms around Light's neck, gently nipping at the other's lips and feeling a shiver of desire race up his spine. He shrugged innocently, his pupils dilated as he twirled a strand of chestnut hair.

"Hm, I guess we'll just have to figure it out."

They must've fallen asleep at some point, naked with their limbs tangled. There was a knock at the door and Light jolted, trying to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes and gain his bearings.

"Huh?" He responded groggily.

"Oi! Chef's finished making dinner!" The young parrot called excitedly through the door. "I'm coming in."

"No!" They yelled at the same time, scrambling to make sure they were covered.

"Um... okay. Well, anyway! Leaving a change of clothes outside if ye want it! Party starts soon!"

They stayed still until they heard the sound of flapping wings and they were sure they were relatively alone. L collapsed down, his nose crinkling with laughter. Did denizens even know what sex was? Light snorted, holding onto his sides as he erupted into a fit of giggles. Oh, the absolute momentary panic of traumatizing a parrot... He watched L fondly for a few seconds before rolling to his feet and languidly stretching. L's eyes raked over the other's body, at all the dips, defined muscles and glowing digits adorning his skin.

Poking his head out the door, Light quickly snatched the clothing and threw L his.

"So, what do you think a pirate party's like?" He mused.

"We're about to find out," L purred.

He slipped on the garments, feeling straight out of the time period. Hell, with his messy hair, he even looked like some scrappy street rat who'd managed to get himself on a pirate's ship. Light looked... much more elegant. Like he was always meant to be out here on the water, his hair swept back and a gleam of danger in his amber eyes. L had to stop himself from staring, his face going red.

Clearing his throat, he quickly moved for the deck. All the parrots were gathered, holding up mugs of rum in their claws, meals in front of them and singing. Light swayed along to the song, his foot tapping.

" _There once was a ship that put to sea and the name of that ship was the Billy o' Tea. The winds blew hard, her bow dipped down. Blow, me bully boys, blow._ " The crew sounded out.

He yelped when one of the parrots pushed him from behind, making Light stumble forward. The others roared excitedly, motioning for Light to sing along. He tried shaking his head to indicate he didn't know the words, but the parrots kept encouraging him. The captain tossed a cracker into his mouth.

"Where's the bloody music?!" He cried out.

Right on cue, a parrot with a fiddle lounged across the ship's railing, his bow moving rapidly against the strings. The crew cheered and started dancing, hooking wings and howling. L admired the denizen's technique, watching the fiddler in awe.

" _Soon may the Wellerman come, to bring us sugar and tea and rum. One day, when the tonguing' is done, we'll take our leave and go."_

L scooted over to the table, grabbing a bowl and absolutely filling it with sugar. Light shook his head affectionately. Figures that'd be L's next move. He didn't allow himself the time to doubt, just going for it as he pulled L's arm and started dancing to the music, towing the detective along.

L's eyes popped in surprise, the sugar swishing around the bowl. Light wanted to... dance? The torchlight reflected brilliantly off of Light's features, making the man seem warm and like fire himself. For a few seconds, all L could do was follow along in a daze. He faltered though and smiled softly. L downed the bowl of sugar in his mouth in one go and suddenly grasped Light, dancing along with him more confidently. That brought an overwhelming whoop from the crew. 

The parrots made a jovial commotion, yipping and swirling in the air. Some stumbled uncoordinatedly on the desk, squeaking drunkenly. Captain tipped his mug back, gulping greedily and practically slamming it on the table. His voice joined the chorus, loud and powerful.

" _She had not been two weeks from shore, when down on her a right whale bore. The captain called all hands and swore._ _He'd take that whale in tow._ "

L laughed, struggling to sing along. He was vaguely aware of Light spinning him and him pressing against the other's chest. He inhaled the scent, feeling... at home... L bit his lip. He'd never felt as at-home as he did with Light. He tilted his head up, meeting his eyes.

The rest of the ship seemed to fall away. All L could focus on was that handsome face, featured by the stars behind him. Light's mouth fell open, something deep behind his eyes. He held L against him, still swaying to the music but it all sounded distant.

Light shuddered.

 _I don't want to ever let you go_.

L bit his lip.

 _Please don't ever let me go_.

L swallowed thickly, his neck craning. Just as their lips brushed, the car's doors slammed open.

They jumped, the sound itself like a gunshot, blasting them out of the moment. A _boom_ made them cry out, practically tearing themselves away from each other. New voices from the train rose up and their heads whirled just as the parrots started squawking in fear.


	19. The Mall Car

The boom made L and Light's heads whip towards the doors, what would've been their exit. The red doors were swung open and kids were running from the bridge into the car, whooping loudly and laughing. The parrots took to the air, screeching in alarm. There must've been at least fifteen kids, varying in age. Some looked as young as six, others as old as fourteen. Their clothing were mismatched garments complimenting a face-paint of a red wave across their faces.

In laymen's terms... they looked feral.

L exchanged a look with Light, feeling his shoulders tense.

"I'll get the backpack," he hissed, already running towards the guest quarters.

Light nodded, hiding himself behind a barrel and watching. Where did these kids come from? They'd entered the way he and L had been planning to go... meaning they would've run into this group sooner or later.

One of the kids held up a baseball bat with nails hammered in and roared, smashing the bat into one of the masts. Others cheered loudly, tearing the steering wheel off, jumping onto and breaking the table, slingshotting rocks into the sails... aiming the rocks at the parrots.

The parrots swerved, going as high as possible to avoid the stones. Light's breath caught, watching the chaos in awe. They were destroying everything... At the doors, a girl wearing a yellow mask took a step into the car and looked around. She was older than everyone else. Light wouldn't be able to tell without seeing her face, but he guessed she might be around his age. _Fuck, L where are you_?

The girl held up a fist, her voice booming and making Light's eyes widen.

"Take what you want, Apex! Highest number gets pick of the raid!"

All around her, the kids screamed their support, racing about. Chuckling, the girl looked up at the parrots, bouncing a rock in her hand. She reared back and threw it. The stone collided with the captain and he cried out in pain, spiraling downwards and crashing against the wood. Light winced, biting his lip. The parrots gasped, scattering in panic as the girl casually made her way to the bird, placing a foot on its chest and watching the other kids proudly.

Her group made sounds of awe and applauded her before going back to destroying and stealing.

Cursing under his breath, Light crept down the stairs and ran for the guest quarters. L was getting the backpack together. He looked up in surprise, his eyes flickering.

"What's going on?"

"We have to go," Light answered gruffly, " _Now._ "

"Where to?"

"I-I don't know. Back the way we came. To the pillows, I guess."

L nodded. He opened the door and gasped when a rush of hot air and smoke blew into his face. He quickly closed it again, his voice bordering on panic.

"The corridor's on fire!"

" _What_?!"

Smoke trailed in from beneath the door. They heard a kid somewhere laughing.

"Grace! I found crackers and sugar!"

"Amazing! Bring it back! Burn the rest, Apex!"

L's eyes widened. His head whirled in Light's direction.

"We need to get out."

Light nodded seriously. Wrapping his shirt around his mouth and nose, he pushed out of the room. The corridor was blazing, making his skin feel tight and assaulting his nose with the smell of burning wood. He just ran, forcing himself not to look back or pay attention to the fire. Light heard L barreling behind him and they raced up the stairs, breaking out onto the deck. They practically collapsed, hacking out dry coughs and feeling their eyes stinging. But they forced themselves to stay upright, looking around.

Everything was on fire, filling the night sky with black, ugly smoke. L gasped, watching the flames lick up the masts. It was so thick that he couldn't even see the parrots anymore, just the captain rendered immobile under the girl's foot.

The girl finally noticed them, tilting her head. She snapped her fingers at one of the kids, motioning to the captain.

"Tie it up. We'll figure out what to do with it when we get back."

The kid saluted dutifully and pounced on the protesting bird. L and Light straightened. Light didn't even realize that he'd stepped protectively in front of L, watching her mistrustfully. She stopped a few feet away from them and took off her mask, flashing a charming smile. She was beautiful, dark skin and glittering black eyes, her hair hung around her face in dreadlocks. Light blinked as her hand went up to her mouth, her eyes flashing in concern.

"I am _so_ sorry! Didn't see you there! You didn't get hurt, right?"

L pursed his lips.

"We're fine," he answered curtly.

"... What are you doing?" Light asked cautiously, watching the kids roll barrels out the door.

The girl smiled apologetically and shrugged.

"Scavenging. Looking for supplies. I'm Grace."

She held out a gloved hand. Light tentatively shook it, his eyes still narrowed. He could tell another manipulator when he saw one. Grace was sending all the bells in his head ringing. She looked just as mismatched as the rest, wearing an orangey shirt, magenta sweats and kneepads. Light forced a cordial smile, trying to ignore the burning ship around them.

"I'm Light."

"Ryuzaki," L mumbled, his own eyes sparked in suspicion.

L's thumb rose to his lips, nibbling on the soft skin. His mind automatically started the process of profiling and categorizing her. She had a dazzling, disarming smile that was eerily like Light's... always hiding something. The only difference was that he had experience with Light and had moved past the 'slightly creeped out' phase. Not so much with this 'Grace'. His eyes shifted to the other door, suddenly wishing he and Light were back among the pillows. As if assuring him he felt the same way, Light intertwined their fingers behind his back. It struck Light how much comfort he took in the other. Just being able to clutch L's hand was calming him.

Grace followed L's gaze around the decimated ship and to the door, her eyes dawning in understanding. She quickly held up a peaceful hand, her voice going reassuring.

"... Oh. Yeah, this is probably not the best introduction, hm? I promise we're not dangerous. It's just that this car dropped not too far away from our base and it's been a while since the kids let off steam. Kids, amiright?" She chuckled.

The tension slightly eased in Light's shoulder, but his face stayed set and hard, glaring at her. She extended a hand of friendship, her eyes soft and inviting.

"We don't hurt Passengers."

L scoffed lightly, tightening his grip on the backpack.

"Well you almost killed us," he stated matter-of-factly.

Grace winced. She ultimately nodded, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly.

"Yeah... sorry about that! I guess our checker must be bugging out."

She took out a small device from a fanny pack slung around her waist. It almost looked like a compass, small with a golden back and a black and green screen. Her lips pursed.

"Damn. It really is bugging."

She gave it a light smack and suddenly a dozen or so red dots appeared in a small box on the screen. Grace held it up proudly for the two to inspect, motioning to the box.

"Passengers show up as red dots. We generally try to avoid new cars with them." Her own eyes went a bit suspicious, her voice still light, "Especially because some Passengers aren't exactly the best of people."

L perked up, intrigued by the device. He scanned it in interest, the curiosity in him urging him to study it. To find out how it worked. He leaned forward, his emotional mask still carefully calculated, but slips of awe bleeding through.

"Where'd you get that?"

Grace smirked, turning the device over in her hand enticingly.

"Cool, huh?" Her gaze flickered and she sighed, tucking the small machine away. Neither could tell if she was being sincere when she clasped her hands together. "Look. I'm really sorry you almost got hurt. Let us make it up to you? We have food back at our car. You could even have a good night's sleep."

L was tempted to say no. He'd never been one to trust. Instantly, an array of scenarios played in his head, each one ending with his death. Light considered, gently squeezing L's hand. There was really nowhere to run. If the 'Apex' wanted to, they could just follow them. His eyes traveled over the pirate ship. The kids were calmed down considerably, now passing each other supplies and moving for the exit. Despite himself, Light felt prickles of arrogance. These were kids. He and L could deal with kids.

He nodded resolutely, giving his own snake-charming grin. L's head whipped in his direction, on the verge of arguing, but decided against it. Light made an executive decision to twist the knife a bit, addressing Grace.

"Thank you. It's good to know someone's honorable enough to realize when they made a mistake."

The smile never left her face, but her brow twitched in response. Grace made a show of bowing dramatically, her hair hanging around her face.

"Of course. I'm an honorable person." She locked gazes with Light. "Hopefully it takes one to know one?"

Light's lips curved at that, dipping his head.

"It does."

They slowly followed her, stepping around stray flames. L hesitated in the doorway, glancing back. Not even an hour ago, the ship had been full of life, singing, laughing, and food. Now, it was just... L pursed his lips when he saw parrots landing back on the wood, their feathers stained with soot and huddling sadly. He shook it off and stepped out the door, carefully closing it behind him.

Grace balanced easily on the bridge's railing, the bridge on one side and the gigantic wheels on the other. The kids streamed forward, cheering as they streamed into the next car like ants returning to their hill. Light stuffed his hands into his pocket, regarding Grace in interest. She was doing a plies on the railing. Good form. Light instantly pegged her as a dancer. She dug around her little pack, tossing them small bags of chips.

"So, how long have you two been on the train?"

They caught them easily, tearing at the bags. L hummed, tapping his chin. How long...? Six months? Seven? Eight? God, he'd lost count. He shook his head, trying to divert the question.

"What about you? You seem pretty good at surviving the train."

Grace's eyes lit up at the praise. She chuckled, doing a spin on the railing.

"If Simon's accurate, around 8 years."

L faltered. She didn't look too old... Grace caught on to his silent question, sighing airily.

"I got on the train when I was 10. Basically grew up here."

Light gaped. He couldn't imagine being so young and separated from everything he knew... He tossed a chip into his mouth and gagged, spitting it out. The chip literally tasted fishy, as if someone had slathered it with fish guts. Grace giggled in amusement, resting her chin in the cup of her hand.

"I take it you don't like them."

"N-no, they're fine," Light grit politely, grabbing for another chip.

Before he could crunch down on it, Grace plucked it out of his hand. Her lips twitched playfully.

"If you don't like it, wheel it."

"Wheel it?" L echoed.

She nodded and flicked the chip towards the wheels below. In less than a second, it was shredded, obliterated as if it never existed. Grace moved further down the bridge, waving a nonchalant hand.

"Everything on this train was made for Passengers. If you don't like it, get rid of it. There's plenty more where those came from."

Light's eyes moved from the bag to the wheel. He unceremoniously threw it, watching it be destroyed. L tensed at Grace's words, a foreboding feeling in his chest. A superiority complex? He opened his mouth, but Light was already moving in Grace's direction, eyes practically glowing in interest. 

"Oh? Everything?"

Grace chuckled, twirling a strand of hair.

"Duh. Think about it. The train's made to cater to _us_. Passengers. Nothing here's _real_ , or as important as us. If you're not having a good time, you're doing the train wrong."

Light hummed, his brain mulling it over.

L trailed behind, his eyes cautious. Definitely a superiority complex. _Two people with superiority complex who think the world owes them... fuck_. His brow arched quizzically, not bothering to hide the skepticism out of his voice.

"Hm, and how do you people 'have a good time'?"

Grace craned her neck. L felt a shiver run up his spine, but didn't flinch under the gaze. She held up one of her gloved hands, riding it up. Her number stretched around her forearm, illuminating her face. Grace traced a finger along one of the numbers, displaying it proudly. Her voice came out almost reverent.

"This is what you want. This is power. Highest number in the Apex."

_Highest number gets pick of the raid._

L didn't respond at first. He had a much higher number, but... both he and Light had been working to bring it down. Was she saying that she was dedicated to getting it up? What was her starting number? What else had she done besides setting things on fire? Light snorted, his eyes moving over her arm.

"Well, if that's how the hierarchy works in your group, I'm afraid I have you beat."

Grace froze, her eyes wide. She gasped, leaning close.

"No _way_! How high's your number?!"

"I don't even know how many digits there are-"

 _And now he's showing off,_ L thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

L tuned them out, staring out over the wasteland and keeping to himself. He didn't like this... Grace opened the door to the next car and L peered inside. It looked like a mall during the apocalypse. There was a large banner with a wavy A hanging over one of the stores. It was all dirty and broken down, a large group of kids running around and laughing. Some were sharpening weapons, others cutting each others' hair. When they entered, everyone turned their attention on the newcomers.

Light smiled in uncertainty, giving a small wave.

Almost instantly, the entire Apex crowded around them, asking a million questions.

L shifted uncomfortably, having to stop himself from snarling at the kids. One pulled at his hair and he yelped, whirling on the kid and baring his teeth. The kid touched her lip curiously.

"Are you a null? You look all weird." She giggled.

He hesitated. A null? He was about to ask when Grace snapped her fingers.

"Hey! Don't swarm them. They're our guests." She turned to a little boy. "Where's Simon?"

"Working on his figurines."

She groaned lightheartedly, ruffling the kid's hair.

"Do me a favor and get him?"

L pressed close to Light, his voice lowering.

"I don't trust them."

"Neither do I," Light huffed, "but it's either forward, or back the way we came."

L nibbled his thumb, barely noticing when he drew blood. A guy around Grace's age started making his way over. He seemed normal enough, longer blond hair tied back, a normal white hoodie and torn khakis. He had a calmer aura, but a calculating gaze.

Grace beamed.

"This is my second-in-command, Simon. I trust him with my life." She laughed softly, "even if he does wear socks with sandals."

Simon gasped dramatically, his lips twitching teasingly.

"Hey! Let me keep my coolness factor for at least a minute!" He pretended to grumble and turned his attention to the two.

L found he felt a tad more comfortable around Simon. At the very least, he didn't seem to be as manipulative as Grace did. Simon looked L over, scratching at a touch of stubble on his chin.

"You two had anything to eat?"

"On the pirate ship," Light piped up.

Simon's head bobbed. He grinned.

"Nice. We got a lot of awesome stuff from that car. Come on, I'll show you the guest rooms."

L and Light looked at each other. They nodded slowly and followed, keenly aware of all the eyes pinned on them. L's own eyes darted, his head still angled down. His footsteps stuttered when he saw he captain parrot imprisoned in one of the stores, tied up and watching them sadly and scared. 

_'Everything on this train'_... including the denizens... L swallowed thickly and forced his feet to keep going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *clears throat* may I present, the fucking Queen herself... Grace! 
> 
> https://neshatriumphs.tumblr.com/post/629047597941866496/grace-simon-looks-the-musical-car 
> 
> I love her so much XD


	20. The Supermarket Car

Simon led them to some smaller store and motioned to an array of sleeping bags set up. L looked around the small store, his nose wrinkling. If the rest of the mall didn't already have an abandoned feel, this store should've been condemned. It smelled musty, large cracks spiderwebbing along the walls and ceiling, wires hanging out like useless vines. Light crossed his arms, inspecting the area quizzically.

"... Thanks," he murmured.

Simon grinned.

"No prob. We don't get many visitors, but as long as you're a Passenger, we'll always show some hospitality. I'll come back in a few hours."

L and Light glanced at each other, but nodded gratefully, stretching down on top of the sleeping bags. Simon bade them a goodnight and left, leaving them with the sounds of their surroundings. Of kids making noises and Grace trying to get them to settle down and get some sleep. L found himself scooting closer to Light, their faces inches away. Biting his lip, Light gently reached forward, mindlessly twirling a strand of L's hair.

"I couldn't possibly imagine getting on the train so young. All of them... they're just kids," Light breathed.

L shivered, pressing into Light's hand. His eyes went distant, lost in memory. He averted his eyes, his voice quiet.

"Don't let your guard down. Young can still be dangerous." He nibbled on his finger, seeming to not realize when he drew a spot of blood. 

Light stared at him for what felt like the longest, wondering what the man had seen and been through. And hating how he could never ask. He realized... all he wanted to do was help L. He loved seeing L's smile, but it was so rare. Light attempted for a reassuring grin.

"Hey. We're the greatest geniuses the world has ever seen. I think we can handle a few kids. Besides. Why would they ever want to hurt us?"

Large owlish eyes scanned him thoughtfully. With a relenting sigh, L settled down, humming in agreement.

"You're right..."

"Of course I am," Light chirped. He looked over the other, his voice dropping to a suggestive purr. "I just wish I could totally fuck you right now."

L blinked, his cheeks going a bright red. He huffed a laugh, crossing his arms, flustered.

"Well. That'd definitely be a crash course on the birds and the bees."

Light snorted and nodded, the two of them situating. A thrill raced up Light's spine at how close L was. So close that he could feel the man's black hair tickling his face. He sighed softly, nodding to himself.

Everything would be okay.

* * *

Light woke up hearing L and Simon's voice. Instinctively, he spread a hand over L's sleeping bag, frowning when he felt it was empty. His eyes fluttered open to see L and Simon leaning against a wall, talking amiably. Light tilted his head, watching quietly.

"- and then we took the head off the eight-foot vulture! It was probably the craziest thing I'd ever done," Simon chuckled.

L snorted, his lips tugging up in a small smile. Light tensed. Why was L smiling?

"Incredible. I had to throw a boulder at this spider... I never thought I'd actually ever say that sentence."

Simon laughed in understanding.

"Yeah, the train's pretty insane. I've lost count of how many times I've almost died. I'd probably say the scariest thing I've seen so far are the gohms."

L visibly shuddered, shaking his head ruefully.

"We've had an encounter with those. Actually on our first day here. Goddamn terrifying."

"Whoa. First day? That's rough."

Simon put a reassuring hand on L's shoulder. L blinked in surprise, not used to physical contact but trying not to let it get to him. 

Light bristled at that, his eyes blazing. _Get your hand off of him_. He sat up on the sleeping bag and L faltered, giving a small wave.

"Hey."

Light's eyes went to the hand still on L's shoulder.

"Hey," he returned gruffly, struggling to his feet.

Simon's hand _finally_ retracted from L's shoulder as he fished out some wrapped caramels from his pockets and tossed them in their direction. He smiled sheepishly.

"Breakfast is either candy, stale crackers, or beef jerky. Grace mentioned something about going on another scavenge soon."

L caught his in a daze, slowly looking at the other. He smiled softly, turning the caramel over in his hand.

"You guys have caramels?"

Simon perked up at that, his head bobbing rapidly.

"We have way more than just caramels. We have this giant pile of candy in one of the stores." He snorted, "some of the kids have dubbed it The Candy Store. Wanna check it out?"

L hummed, trying to push down the spark of excitement on his face.

"Huh. That might be... educational."

Light watched on, his lips pursed. He squeezed the caramel in his hand. _Not jealous. Not jealous_. Simon lit up at that, scratching his chin.

"Sweet. Heh, literally. And maybe you could tell me how technology's doing off the train?"

"You're into technology?" L asked casually, tilting his head.

"Yeah. I guess you could say I'm something of an inventor. Ooh, check this out."

Bringing his foot up, Simon displayed his shoes. At L's confusion, he pressed a button on the backstay of the shoe. The soles crackled with electricity, making loud popping noises as he flexed his ankle. L's eyes widened a fraction, thumb instantly to mouth and getting closer to inspect the shoes. He'd never seen anything like it. There was a small burst of electricity and he yelped, quickly taking a step back. But he was transfixed, that same innate need to learn overwhelming him. He knew curiosity would probably be his downfall. Curiosity about Kira, Shinigamis, the train, Mara. Everything. Simon snickered proudly.

"Pretty cool, eh? They let me stick to surfaces."

Pulling his leg back, Simon stuck the sole to the wall. He activated the other shoe and started carefully climbing up and sweeping his arms out in a 'ta-da' motion. L gasped softly, the corners of his lips twitching.

"Fascinating," he breathed, deciding he needed to pick this guy's brain. "You have to tell me about the mechanics!"

The other smiled at the praise.

"I'd love to. Come on, The Candy Store has some beanbags."

L nodded, sold. Light blinked, something bubbling in his stomach. He glanced between L and Simon, the bubbling feeling just getting worse. Crossing his arms, the snarl in his voice was barely concealed.

"Ryuzaki. We should, um... go over our inventory."

The other gave him an odd expression. L shrugged, slinging the backpack over his shoulder.

"Not much to go over. I managed to grab everything in the ship car."

Light shifted, glaring at Simon. _Stupid, blond ponytail freak. Who even puts their hair in a goddamn ponytail_? He almost scowled, about to respond when Grace wandered in. She flashed a brilliant smile, stretching her limbs languidly. Grace barely even acknowledged the fact that Simon was standing horizontal on the wall. Instead, she addressed L with a dramatic sigh.

"My apologies in advance for the resident nerd here. He'll talk off anyone's ear who's willing to listen."

From his position on the wall, Simon stuck out his tongue teasingly.

"Believe it or not, Grace, people actually want to know about this kind of stuff!"

"You're right, I don't believe it," she giggled, shaking her head affectionately.

Light looked on with a softer expression. He wouldn't mind knowing their story. What it was like growing up on the train. A shiver ran up his spine just at the thought. Grace craned her neck in his direction, an impish and mischievous smirk painting her lips.

"Hey. You want to go on a raid with us? I'm taking out some of the older kids."

Light watched her for a few moments. He glanced at L and Simon again, the two of them talking animatedly about those damn shoes. He huffed to himself and nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

He felt like smashing something. And he also refused to accept the minute possibility that he was jealous. Nope. Impossible.

L looked up though, his eyes flashing in concern. He moved closer to Light, his voice lowering.

"I don't think we should split up."

"I'll be fine," he said quickly, pulling away from L. L was a master at reading body language. Light wasn't sure how long he could hide his not-jealousy.

The other blinked, his lips going tight and he threw his hands up in surrender, rejoining Simon. Light stared at L's back, his heart twisting but he pushed the feeling down.

He followed Grace out of the store and looked out over the mall, impressed. He hadn't seen a single adult since coming here... and it genuinely amazed him that a group of kids could come up with this. She led him to a pile of strange contraptions, holding one up.

"We call these Harpoon packs," she introduced, strapping it around her like a backpack.

There were two strange machines with a wire connecting them to the pack. She held them up proudly, slowly rotating them so Light could see.

"They let us travel quickly on top of the train. Just aim, and-" She aimed and the harpoons shot out, magnetically attaching to the wall on the other side of the car.

Light gaped as Grace was pulled along, going airborne. She easily used her feet to bounce off the wall and land nimbly like a cat, each movement practically effortless. The harpoons automatically retracted and she smirked, twirling it and calling back across the car.

"Come on! I'll take you to one of my favorite cars!"

Light nodded slowly, slinging a harpoon pack around his shoulders. Still not completely confident, he simply made his way over to her on foot, adjusting it nervously. Were they really going to travel on top of the train like this? Grace motioned for him to follow. There were already about five of the older kids waiting by the door, ready with weapons, harpoon packs and supplies. Light inspected them, internalizing their mean looks and rugged attitude. He idly wondered when they'd stopped being kids... he supposed they technically still were, but the looks in their eyes... it made him shudder.

Stepping out of the car and onto the platform, Grace's people aimed their harpoons. Light winced when they took off, soaring upwards and towards the top of the next car, landing expertly on their feet. He chuckled nervously, glancing at his harpoon.

"Ever had a malfunction?"

"Lucy accidentally lost an eye," Grace said casually.

Light blanched, swallowing thickly. He stiffened when Grace looked over his stance, adjusting it slightly until the harpoons were aimed and she was satisfied. His limbs trembled, suddenly wondering if this was a good idea. Although... he was curious what it'd be like traveling on top, flying through the air... Her lips twitched.

"See you on the other side."

She took off.

Light wanted to argue, but he forced himself to calm down and press the little buttons. Instantly, the ground disappeared from under his feet. He gasped, a rush of air blowing against his face as he was propelled upwards, everything around him zooming.

He landed on his feet and yelped, almost losing his balance, but Grace grabbed him. She pulled him further onto the roof and grinned, yelling over the train.

"A rush, right?!"

Light gave a weak laugh, going green. The other kids were already running across the roof, getting ready to make another jump to the next car. As much as Light hated to admit it... that was damn exciting. He'd never done anything like it. He looked around, at the expanse of wasteland that seemed endless. Now that he was high, he could see the train more clearly. Even from on top of it, he couldn't see the beginning or end. Did it really go on forever? He gaped, feeling so small. After another two cars, he was getting the hang of it, even letting out an experimental whoop. Grace laughed joyfully, striking a dancer's pose midair.

She pointed to a door, glancing at her Passenger-tracker.

"No Passengers," she confirmed.

Light breathed heavily, his adrenaline still running high. Incredible... they'd traversed 10 cars in about 20 minutes. He straightened, his eyes going to the door.

"Are you looking for anything specific?"

Grace rolled her shoulders.

"Whatever we see. Here, check this out."

She opened the door to a supermarket. It was in rough shape, rougher than the mall car for certain. Grace held up her bat, her eyes determined and full of adrenaline.

"Stick to me. This car has the best haul, but there are some pretty nasty creatures. But that's what makes it fun."

Light's eyes flashed in alarm. The other kids crept forward, expertly moving along the shelves. Grace glanced at him with a challenging grin.

"Unless you're too scared, that is."

Light huffed a laugh at that as she handed him a hammer.

"I'm not scared of anything."

* * *

L twirled a lollipop in his mouth. Why would Light separate like that? His thoughts were interrupted by Simon holding up a figurine.

"When Grace doesn't need me, this is pretty much what I do."

He inspected the figurine in interest. It was an army man painted over. L rose a thumb to his lips, his eyes flashing in Simon's direction. A small, teasing smile made its way known on his lips.

"Your pupils dilate whenever you talk about Grace."

Simon's face went a bright, tomato red. he stuttered, opening his mouth to deny it, but then snapping it shut. He made a show of rolling his eyes, taking a lollipop for himself as well and grunting.

"If you tell her-"

"Your secret's safe with me," L hummed amusedly.

"What about you? That Light guy seems to have a thing for you."

L crunched down on his lollipop, yelping when a sharp piece cut his tongue.

"Oh, yeah, it's um... complicated."

 _Why did I let him go on his own? Fuck. I shouldn't have let him go on his own_. L drummed his fingers nervously, an array of horrible scenarios playing out in his mind. He sighed, shaking his head. It was too late now. He'd just have to trust Light would be okay. A kid came into the store, her eyes welled with tears as she moved to Simon.

"Simon! Todd twisted his ankle."

Simon hissed a breath. He groaned and stood, glancing in L's direction and laughing weakly.

"Ah, the life of a medic. It was nice talking to you. Don't be afraid to just hang out and relax."

He quickly followed her, already barking orders to everyone on how to take care of Todd. L watched after him in awe. They'd had to do everything themselves. Learn how to survive by themselves. He shook his head and left The Candy Store, looking around the mall.

His eyes fell on the captain parrot still chained up and trapped behind a closed store, its breathing rapid and terrified.

Not knowing where else to go, L walked over to it.


	21. The City Car

Light had to stop himself from smiling as he swung the bat at the mutant, radioactive creature. Grace hadn't been kidding when she said the supermarket car was full of dangerous creatures. They crept up like zombies, moaning with their arms out. She was behind Light, bending and scooping cans of food into her backpack, seemingly unconcerned with the horde. As he combatted another one, one of the kids raced up, pointing to the pharmacy.

"We stocked up on medicines!"

Before even realizing the implications, Light took charge, nodding dutifully.

"That's what I like to hear! Get them back to the mall!"

Grace glanced back at him in surprise but didn't chastise him for taking over.

They all made it out of the car and Grace quickly closed the door behind her. She beamed, gently pushing Light's arm.

"Not bad. Your strategic thinking's really useful."

Light preened at the praise, his lips twitched. It felt nice again... having people listen to him. Of course he wasn't expecting Misa-levels of worship, but it was still nice to be recognized. Grace waved a hand at the kids.

"I am _so_ proud of all of you!" She leaned towards them, winking. "Don't tell the others, but you guys are my favorite people to scavenge with." Straightening, Grace clasped her hands together, her eyes dancing. "I think we deserve a treat after that! Who's up for the city car?"

Everyone cheered and Light tilted his head curiously. Grace giggled, taking and pulling his wrist along.

"Come on, you'll see. It's _super_ fun."

He blinked and shrugged, allowing himself to be led along.

Grace opened the door and Light balked. It was a miniature city that stretched on for at least a mile, the exit just a red dot in the distance.

The city itself looked like it was made for ants with how small it was, but every building had individual windows and if Light squinted, he could almost make out cracks in the sidewalk.

"This is amazing," he whispered, chewing his lip.

The denizens that inhabited the city were small gelatinous globs, walking and driving tiny cars.

Light stood tall, looking over the impressive city.

"Beautiful," he murmured.

"Yup."

Grace raised a foot and stomped it down on one of the buildings.

Light stiffened, watching as smoke blew up from around her shoe, and a high-pitched sound came from down below. Screaming. He winced, looking back over the city. The kids who Grace had brought along ran into the car and cheered, crushing buildings and digging around for anything useful. Light stared, not saying anything for the longest. Grace held up one of the little denizens, turning it over in her hand.

"You think they're alive."

Light started.

"What?"

"The nulls. You think they mean something."

Light's lips tightened, that familiar foreboding feeling in his chest.

"Null?"

She held up the gelatinous creature, the thing squirming and letting out high-pitched cries. Sighing, Grace shook her head.

"Null. Not even a zero. Light, they're part of the train and the train was made for us. Ergo, they were made for us."

He watched her, finding that her words... had a ring of truth to them. The denizens certainly weren't humans, at least. And besides. He was a god. The world was his to do with as he pleased. He looked around the tiny city, feeling large and powerful. Grace squished the little blob and proceeded to dance over the city, her limbs moving lithely and gracefully. Light held a foot over a building and slowly cracked the roof, his body spiking with adrenaline.

Grace watched him and chuckled to herself.

"How could I have ever thought you were with them?" She whispered to herself.

Light's eyes moved in her direction questioningly. Grace shrugged, her lips twitching.

"I've been trying to get a reading on you. Usually we're more careful about who we allow near the Apex." Grace hummed. "You both seem pretty crafty and we're a bit suspicious of Passengers." She snorted. "You can blame Alpha-bet for that. I've been trying to decide whether or not you were with them. Maybe a spy or something. But you're not. I can tell."

Alpha-bet? Light opened his mouth curiously, but Grace was already shooting off on a tangent, pacing in the city's streets.

"I mean, what kind of a _stupid_ name is that, huh?! _Ugh!_ "

So another group. Light winced. If he and L continued onwards, did that mean they'd run right into these people?

"How far away are they?"

"About fifty cars," she sighed off-handedly.

Light nodded, watching her pace. She really couldn't stand them...

"What's their problem?" He asked, plucking a building from the ground and inspecting it.

Grace huffed a short laugh, rearing back and kicking a statue. It shattered.

"Ask them! Fucking psychotic. They've got this whole letter-theme going on. Their leader B's a whole new brand of crazy."

Light's brow quirked. A letter theme? He doubted there was any connection to L. Maybe a bunch of fans of his work or something, but... Alpha-bet... hm. Was there any point even bringing it up to L? Light mulled it over, turning the building in his hand. He chuckled dryly.

"I'm guessing they don't take kindly to negotiation?"

Grace's jaw tightened, something dark passing over her features.

"Every time we interact, they try to kill us. We've learned to keep to ourselves and avoid them." She grumbled, her lips pursed. "It doesn't always work."

He winced, a heavy sigh gathering in his chest. That'd be a problem if he and L wanted to move forward. As if reading his mind, Grace held up her harpoon pack.

"The only consolation is that they don't have these. We'd be willing to trade two for anything you might have." She hesitated and crossed her arms, inspecting him closely. "...Or you could stay. You're a pretty good scavenger. Your friend seems like he's a nerd. Simon's been wanting a nerd friend." She snickered.

Light's face soured at that. For a moment, he'd considered accepting. But at hearing Simon's name, it felt like all his feathers had been ruffled. And yet... he couldn't let that dictate his actions... He was above petty emotions. No, Light was a stone-cold analyzing machine. And the hard truth was that the Apex gave many advantages. Looking around at all the kids, he also realized... they needed help. 

That they needed him. A familiar savior complex wormed up his mind. He gave a tight smile, crushing the building in his hands.

"Huh. I'll talk it over with Ryuzaki. Thanks for the offer."

* * *

L slumped next to the storefront shutters, drawing his knees up to his chest. The captain parrot was tangled up in chains on the store floor and on his side. He looked up at L, golden eyes flashing in a moment of hope.

"... Are you with them?" The parrot whispered.

Blinking, L shook his head.

"We're just guests... any idea how long they'll keep you here?"

The parrot deflated, hugging his wings as close to his body as possible.

"No... _squawk_. I just want to go home." His eyes sparked with a soft sigh. "I want Maria."

Maria? That peaked L's interest and he leaned forward. This wasn't the first time he'd seen that denizens could love. He smiled gently in remembrance of Ginger and Breadley.

"What's she like?" L breathed.

The captain sighed dreamily, swaying in his chains. His voice had an audible coo as he talked, scanning the ceiling as if Maria would be there.

"Beautiful. As red as a ruby. Her wings had spots of green and sea-blue... I've never seen a more gorgeous creature. _Squawk._ Kind. Artistic." He shivered pleasantly. " _Squawk._ I miss her."

L listened intently, grinning at the denizen's words. It was obvious he loved her... L reached his fingers through the shutters, gently stroking the bird's wing. His heart jumped when the captain leaned into his touch.

"You'll see her again," he murmured reassuringly.

The parrot's eyes misted and he nodded, relaxing against the floor.

L wasn't sure how long they sat together, talking about whatever was on their minds. It was a genuine conversation and L found himself smiling, appreciating the bird's company.

"Lucy, Wayne!" Simon called, making his way over.

From his spot on the floor, L gave a small wave. The captain shrank back, watching Simon warily but staying quiet.

Simon bent in front of the shutters, looking over the bird. L watched silently, able to blend in and observe with intrigue. Lucy and Wayne scampered over, their arms full of bags of tools.

L stiffened, looking at the sharp objects. Pliers, knives... a foreboding feeling seeped into his chest, making his heart go cold. Straightening, Simon held out a hand.

"Pliers," he demanded clinically.

The tools were passed and L's eyes flashed in alarm. The captain whimpered fearfully, trying to inch away from the shutters, until it was backed against the wall.

"What are you doing?" L asked, pushing to his feet.

Simon inspected the pliers with a hum and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Those wicked talons could useful for spears and stuff." Simon looked at him. "We take what we need from the train."

L's eyes widened a fraction, his legs going to jelly. He took a few steps away from the store and averted his eyes. He remained stony-faced as Simon entered the store.

Squawks of pain rang out and L flinched, his stomach turning on him. He stared at a spot in the ground, listening to howls of agony and the sound of the tools cutting through the denizen's talons. L's emotional mask was up in an instant, making his eyes void as screams pierced his very being. It felt endless... like the captain would never shut up... until Simon finally came out, all the talons carefully wrapped in a towel. He carefully handed them off to Lucy.

L stared at the girl in shock. She didn't seem phased at all by the screaming. Lucy casually took the towel and ran off.

_That must be it. It's over._

L stepped closer to the store, his immediate reaction to comfort the creature. But Simon snapped his fingers, calling a few other kids.

"Hey, someone give me a hand here?"

Dread seeped through L's body. He stared at Simon, swaying unsteadily on his feet.

"Help... with what?"

Simon rolled his shoulders.

"We don't have any other uses for it. What we don't need, we wheel."

... Wheel... they were going to... L went pale, everything around him sounding distant. He watched in horror as a group of kids dragged the captain out by the chains. He cried out in terror, writhing in his bonds and sobbing... begging to be let go.

L slowly followed, each step heavy and echoing. The captain twisted his neck, locking gazes with L, his eyes pleading and desperate.

"Simon. W-wait-"

"Yeah?"

Simon wasn't bothered at all? L scanned his face, his throat closed. If he tried standing up for the denizen... _would they turn on me?_ He tried shaking his head, forcing a small smile.

"Nothing," he choked out.

The other's brow arched, but he ultimately shrugged, going back to helping the kids drag the captain. L crept up in a daze, standing in the doorway. The kids dropped the parrot on the platform, watching him with unfeeling gazes. The parrot trembled, looking up at Simon.

"P-please don't do this. _Squawk._ Please. Just let me go."

Simon made a show of rolling his eyes. L wrapped his arms around himself, feeling his teeth chatter.

As if it was nothing, meant nothing, Simon kicked the parrot off the platform.

L couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped him.

The parrot shrieked as he tumbled through the air, sobbing and falling for the crushing wheels.

L looked away.

He whimpered softly when he heard a _crunch_ and the screams being abruptly cut off. Just like that, it was over.

L stayed there, holding his arms and shivering. He jumped when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and looked up, meeting Simon's gaze. The boy's eyes were shining with concern.

"Um... you okay?"

No. No, he wasn't _okay_. Nothing about that had been _okay_. L swallowed thickly. He easily slipped into a calmer role, nodding and smiling.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."

He tensed, wondering if Simon bought it. After a few seconds, the Passenger was patting L's shoulder, acting no different than he had when L first met him.

"Cool. Why don't you get cleaned up? Dinner's going to be served pretty soon."

Simon strolled past him, leaving L cold and shaking on the platform. His eyes traveled to the wheels. There were crushed feathers and splatters of blood between the grooves. His hand flew to his mouth and he ran to the edge of the platform, vomiting off the side of the train. He slid to his knees, breathing heavily. He'd seen people die. He'd seen bodies. It was part of his job.

But there was something so gruesome about that.

He'd talked to the parrot... and he'd been unceremoniously tossed over as if he meant that little.

By a bunch of kids.

L squeezed his eyes shut, remembering his own childhood. A whine escaped his throat.

He shouldn't be surprised. Kids could be violent too.

...He'd hurt people when he was a kid...

L quickly pushed the memory away. It was like a festering wound, threatening to bubble up and overtake him. It happened so long ago. Why couldn't he just forget?

He struggled to his feet and shuddered, dazedly moving back into the car.

 _I want Light_.

* * *

The kids rushed up, greeting the returning party joyously.

Grace laughed, grinning widely as she held up her backpack.

"We'll be eating like kings!" She declared to loud whooping.

Light chuckled, pushing bangs away from his face. He genuinely enjoyed going out with them. Scavenging. Ruling the train. Light glanced around and tilted his head.

"Where's Ryuzaki?"

"I think taking a nap," Simon responded lightly, peering into Grace's backpack.

Light's head bobbed and he moved in the direction of their store.

L was curled up on top of the sleeping back, his body rising and falling. The detective sluggishly looked at him, but before he could open his mouth, Light snorted.

"You should've seen it! Traveling the train, gathering supplies, kicking ass. Absolutely incredible. You should come on the next raid."

L's jaw clamped. He'd seen that look in Light's eyes before. It was a taste of power and adrenaline. A dangerous combination for a dangerous person. L faltered, his eyes widening and dawning in realization.

"You... want to stay." _Having people listen to you. Being responsible for people. It gets you off. I bet you think that if you stay long enough, you'll have some influence over these kids and you'll be able to 'save them'. You always think you can save everyone.._.

Light nodded.

"Yeah. I was actually thinking we should stay a while. Apparently there's an even more psychotic group a ways away. Grace mentioned something about them-"

He trailed off at the look in L's eyes.

L stared at him, his tongue heavy in his mouth. Light paused, watching the man cautiously.

"... Is everything okay?"

"... Just tired," L rasped, turning on his side.

Light blinked, looking at the man's back.

"... Okay. Well, I'm going to grab some food. Want some?"

L shook his head.

"Thank you. But I'm not hungry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH okay so like a day or two ago, Infinity Train was finally renewed for its fourth season! WHOOOOOO XD. So excited lol


	22. The Hedge Car

Light's eyes fluttered open, his unconscious body sensing movement. L was sitting up on the sleeping bag, delicately perched on the balls of his feet. For a few seconds, Light didn't say anything, simply watching the man. The detective was stuffing food and supplies into the backpack.

L's eyes flashed in Light's direction, his movements still calm and measured as he continued filling the backpack.

"I'm leaving. You're free to join me if you want."

When Light didn't say anything, L's heart jumped uncomfortably. He'd survived by knowing when to leave, when a situation had become dangerous. And this situation was dangerous. Kids in general were unpredictable and a part of L was wondering how he'd even managed to make a connection with Simon in the first place. Finally, Light tilted his head curiously.

"Why?"

L winced, not responding at first. He looked at Light more fully, twisting the fabric of his backpack's straps. Buried inside, Scrap slept, nestled in a little nest of paper. L shook his head.

"I don't trust them."

"You seemed to get along with Simon," Light shrugged, although there was a hint of bitterness.

That made L's brow quirk. He reeled back, his nose wrinkling.

"... You think I had something going on with Simon?"

"No... Maybe the beginnings of something," Light murmured under his breath.

L stared at him. He huffed a laugh and slung the backpack around his shoulders.

"It'd fit the motif, wouldn't it? Me getting involved with murderers? He's not even gay."

That made Light falter, looking up in surprise.

Oh.

His cheeks burned hotly, and he gaped. Light's lips twitched.

"Huh. I could've sworn he was gay."

L couldn't help but snort, pausing in his packing. There was the ghost of a smile on those thin lips.

"You know, I thought so too until I saw him around Grace."

Light chuckled softly, resting his chin in the cup of his hand. He continued to watch L, his stomach doing small flips.

"Ryuzaki, they're just kids. How can we leave them-"

"No," L snapped, his head whirling towards Light. The action was so abrupt that Light's jaw clamped on its own. "Don't do this, Light. This fucking savior god complex. Okay? These kids wheel denizens. And people are just a step up from those." L's fingers fumbled with the zipper. Light couldn't help but notice his hands were trembling as L continued. "And once the kids are killing people, everything becomes numb, and they become capable of any atrocity, wondering where the Hell it all went wrong. They'll become monsters, craving human interaction but not knowing how to connect... and just finding comfort in other monsters..."

L squeezed his backpack, his eyes misted. He swayed a bit, trying to center himself and get back on task. Light's eyes were wide in a stunned silence, his pulse thundering.

"L-?"

"I don't want to stay here," L breathed, not meeting Light's gaze.

Light sensed something else in the words and tensed, biting his lip. His face set.

"'Stay here'... or stay with me? If you were really going to invite me along, why pack while I'm sleeping?"

L winced, a thumb going to his lips. He could feel Light's eyes on his back, boring into his neck. His large eyes darted, as if trying to come up with the words, but ultimately failing. Sighing, L stood, his eyes anywhere but Light's face.

"What we have isn't healthy. It never has been. And I know this is going to keep happening. We're going to run into 'poor souls who _only_ you can help', because you think you're some benevolent god. But you're not, Light. You've never been a god. And if you keep trying to get power, especially here, you're going to get burned."

Light inhaled at that, amber eyes narrowing to slits. He was a god. How dare-

"You don't know anything about me," he hissed, "I was cleaning the world. It's rotten! Those who are making it rot-"

L snorted derisively, making a sound of disgust.

"I knew it. You can't help but try and mold everything to your vision. The Apex isn't going to mold, okay? They already have a leader and you'd be an idiot to go against her."

They glared at each other, their eyes blazing. Light bristled. He was a god! It was his destiny! _A_ _nd if I'm going to be stuck here, unable to cleanse the world, the least I can do is clean the Apex_. L huffed, struggling to his feet and already marching towards the store's entrance. The detective's voice came out low and bitter.

"Maybe I'm also sick of being second-rate to a fucking book."

That made Light stop, watching L's back quietly... He wasn't wrong... Light would always choose the death note over L... He'd been sold on killing L with it.

"Wait, Ryuzaki-"

"Stay away from me," L grumbled, stalking out of the store.

Light stood in the entrance, watching L with wide eyes as the man made his way to the exit, the air around him like a storm. Some of the kids glanced over curiously, tilting their heads.

L ignored them all, slamming the exit behind him and disappearing.

Why did Light feel so numb? He stared at the spot where L had vanished, willing the detective to reappear. When he didn't, his heart jumped uncomfortably. Oh God... no... no, he- he couldn't lose L!

He started racing for the exit, tears blurring his vision.

"Light?"

He skidded to a stop, looking back. Grace's face was painted with concern, her hands clasped together.

"Is everything alright?"

No. No, it wasn't alright. There was a static noise loud in Light's head, his heart going frantic. L just _left_ him. As if it were nothing. Light faltered, his own eyes darkening as he scanned her face.

"You wheel denizens? Fully sentient, innocent creatures?" He ground out.

Grace's brow arched, seemingly unbothered by the question. She nodded, her body language casual and relaxed. It just sent Light's already adrenaline-spiked mind on overdrive.

"Yeah. There's no reason to keep them if they're no longer useful. I thought we went over that. Hell, I thought you agreed."

Light opened his mouth to snarl out that he didn't. But the words died on his tongue. The correct, socially acceptable thing to say would be 'of course not! All life is precious'... but that wasn't what he believed. Not all life had the same value. Was it possible that L was in the wrong? His head swiveled towards the exit again, his limbs itching. Every second he stood there debating, L was moving further and further away. Grace moved forward, placing a gentle hand on Light's shoulder. He flinched at the contact, but didn't try to move away.

"Light. You're smart and strong. I could really use someone with your talents."

His lips pursed, not responding right away. L... he was probably still in just the next car over, right? He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, a sour taste in his mouth. Well... L was an adult. He didn't need Light. In fact, the man had asked him to stay away. But- Grace rolled her shoulders.

"Ryuzaki made up his mind. Are you really going to let him dictate how you live?"

The words struck a chord. Light's nostrils flared indignantly. He'd already let L dictate how he lived. Confinement, handcuffs, fuck that. He'd spent about a year, pretending to or actually playing by L's rules, on L's turf. He looked around the Apex, feeling a swell of responsibility and a touch of ego.

 _I'm going to fix you_.

* * *

L wasn't sure how long he went at his breakneck speed. He went through about seven cars before slowly sliding to the ground and breathing heavily. He looked around and leaned forward in awe.

He was in a crystal forest, little transparent animals running around him. It was beautiful... serene. L closed his eyes and slumped against a tree, still breathing heavily. Light's face was ingrained in his mind.

Hurt, betrayal, desperation.

Maybe he hadn't handled the situation well, it was just... he'd needed to get out of there. Suddenly being with those kids was like a weight pressing down on his chest, heavy and suffocating. It was a gamble whether or not Light would follow. To both L's relief and disappointment... Light didn't. L ate some food, skimmed Mara's journal and wrote in his, his foot flexing and trying to relax. To unwind. A fruitless effort, but one he made nonetheless. At some point, he continued onwards, light reflecting from the crystals onto his face.

Whatever. He worked better alone anyway. L paused and rode up his sleeve. His number was shifting both up and down, as if it didn't know what to do. Shaking his head, L pushed the sleeve back down and admonished himself for becoming curious. He didn't know how the damn thing worked, and for the first time in his life, he didn't _want_ to know. His number could do whatever it wanted.

L paused at the crystal forest's door, looking back. A part of him waited for Light to come up the path, breaking out over the hill. Of course it didn't happen.

Sighing to himself, L continued on.

* * *

 **1 week later**...

L tore his teeth through the jerky and pouted. He ran out of sweet things that morning. Pulling his knees up to his chin, L sniffed at the dry meat, sticking his tongue out.

"Gross."

It wasn't smart, but he couldn't take another bite. He tossed the jerky to the side, ignoring his stomach. It'd been a good stretch of cars without food. He'd need to find some soon... He curled up on his side, forcing his eyes shut.

The car itself was horrible, but he'd been wandering around for hours and hadn't found the damn exit yet. It was a labyrinth hedges, each leaf perfectly cut and even. The ground was a soft grass peppered with little flowers.

He kept expecting to find an evil gnome or something.

L's pencil moved along the page, outlining Light's face from memory. He was pretty good at drawing. At least... good at drawing Light. He carefully swept the other's hair down the page. A small smile perked up L's mouth. Light's hair grew like hair did, but Light would come up with the craziest, out-of-the-box ways to cut it, absolutely refusing to let it become too long.

Appearance on an insane train that defied logic was important, after all.

He sighed softly, allowing the familiar pang. L didn't even know it was possible to miss someone this much...

His mind wandered to the rest of Light... those intelligent eyes, strong body... warm hands... fingers massaging and kneading L's flesh... hot, wet tongue- L's pencil slashed down across the drawing and he jumped, quickly wiping drops of drool away from the corner of his mouth. Oops.

There was a rustling from up ahead.

L straightened, instantly stuffing everything back into his backpack. He crept along one way, carefully stepping on the grass and listening intently for the source of the noise.

"Sir, we found some jerky. I think there's someone else here." A voice said.

"Do you think it could be those Apex brats again, sir?"

L sank his teeth into his lip, tasting blood. Shit. He should've been more careful. The voice sounded too old to come from the Apex. Much more adult. L peered through the leaves, parting some into a hole as quietly as possible.

There was a figure on the other side wearing a dark blue mask with gold-plated cheeks, wild black hair jutting out in spikes. The gold trimmed around the eyes, making the man imposing. His attire... it was much more put-together than the Apex. It looked almost like Roman armor with a gold cape billowing behind him. Resting in his hand was a wicked looking sword, the blade black and slightly cerated. He was surrounded by about seven people, all wearing similar but more dulled armor. L squinted, craning his neck to get a better look.

The figure's face whirled in his direction. L's breath caught, locking eyes with the man.

Maroon. His eyes were a bright maroon bordering on red. The only other person he'd ever met with such brilliant was...

"L?" A familiar voice breathed.

L's breath caught. He took a step back from the hedge, letting the leaves block his vision. Both of them were too momentarily stunned to do anything...

He ran.

The direction didn't matter.

L tore through hedges, his feet scuffing the grass. He yelped when he heard running around him.

Skidding around a corner, L raced, his heart echoing in his ears. The exit, the exit, where was the exit?! He fought a whimper, the backpack weighing him down. Screw it. He dropped it and picked up speed, still painfully aware of people around him... ripping through hedges to get into the same lane as him...

"You can't escape," B's voice drawled, "my men have the exit surrounded. We've spent a long time mapping this car."

L's vision swam, his throat closing on him. He didn't even know which way was towards the door that he'd entered through. The labyrinth was impossible!

This was a nightmare. He was sleeping. No other explanation. No other- A scream ripped from L's throat when someone grabbed him from behind. Bringing his leg up, he kicked backwards as hard as he could, earning a satisfying crunch and pained yell.

But it was too late. L's scream had attracted more people. He gasped, more arms grabbing at him, trying to incapacitate him.

L shook his head, roaring for them to let him go. Anything. He sank his teeth into one's wrist, but it was simply replaced by another set of hands. L's breathing verged on hyperventilation, the world spinning and dipping.

"Light," he shrieked, not caring at the moment if he looked undignified, " _Light! Help!_ "

Someone stuck a needle into his arm and L gasped, jerking in their grip. He slumped, sluggishly looking at the grass, everything around him going dissonant. In front of him, slow footsteps crunched the grass, black shoes so shiny that L could see his own reflection. He whined softly when B roughly pulled back L's hair, forcing him to look at the mask.

Even though he couldn't see, L knew B's lips were curled like a cat's.

"Lawli," B chuckled, his voice giddy, "It's been a long time."

"Go... Go f-"

L's head rolled forward, unfocused and sleepy.

B gently touched L's chin, tipping his head up.

"Aw poor Strawberry all out and alone. Come on, we have a lot of catching up to do."

L shivered, his tongue heavy in his mouth as the world faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B's mask based off this:  
> https://i.redd.it/br3i5ph218q41.jpg 
> 
> (It's a mask from a webtoon called Blood Bank. Highly recommend it)


	23. The Roman Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No rape but a brief mention of the fear of being raped. It's so brief that I was debating whether or not to even put it in a note, but better safe than sorry.

L groaned, his head pounding. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the harsh light. Where was he? Softness, he was on softness... It came back like a truck, disorienting him.

B.

Beyond was alive... and on the train.

He swung to a sitting position, his heart fluttering wildly. The next thing he registered was the fact that he his wrists were tied and his ankles bound. He squirmed on the bed, sinking his teeth into his lip. Vulnerable... He was vulnerable.

L blinked slowly and gazed at the room. It had Roman decorations similar to the armor he'd seen B wear. The walls were made of uneven stone and as far as L could tell, there didn't seem to be any electricity. He was curled on top of a large, velvet bed. The car must've taken after ancient Roman design. He wondered how large it was. What kind of features or advantages it offered that B's group made it their base of operations. All the windows had been barred and from his position, he couldn't see out. A cool draft blew through the room.

Shivers ran up his spine. Instantly, his heart jumped, already imagining the worst that B could do. B probably wouldn't kill him. There'd be no fun in that. Would he ra- L inhaled sharply. He pulled his hair a bit, trying desperately to steady his breathing. No... no he couldn't start thinking like that. He was L Lawliet... he'd be okay.

The door swung open and he froze. Instinctively, he shrank into the bed, trying to keep the tremble out of his limbs. He mentally prepared himself for what would ultimately be a losing battle if B tried anything...

The man himself strolled in. He was dressed in an all-black turtleneck with an equally dark coat, that same damn mask on his face. L stared at him, his eyes hard and not betraying the fear in his chest.

B met L's eyes and gave a soft, giddy gasp, bouncing on his feet.

"Lawli! Oh my God, it's been so long! I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

He rushed forward and L couldn't help but flinch, bringing his limbs as close to his body as possible. B faltered, his eyes flicking over the other's form. His voice came back softer, more soothing and obviously trying to comfort. L's jaw clamped, not comforted in the slightest.

"Aw, don't worry, Strawberry. I won't hurt you." When L didn't look at him, B snapped his fingers, forcing L's eyes up. Despite all his efforts, L's eyes shone with terror. B's voice was more definitive. "L, look at me. I'm not going to rape you. Come on, that's not how I work."

After a few seconds, the tension leaked from L's shoulders and he exhaled in relief. He swallowed thickly, scanning B's face inquisitively. He just wanted to take off that damn mask. The last time L saw him, B's face was unrecognizable from the burns. Every aspect of B's features had been twisted and scarred from his self-inflicted arson, destroying what was once a handsome face. His voice came out quiet.

"... How are you alive? They told me you'd died. That Kira had given you a heart attack."

Behind that mask, B blinked, his eyes widening.

"Kira tried to kill me?... Whoa." He snorted, slowly shaking his head. "... Maybe the train saved me?" B stood and slowly paced, rubbing a gloved hand against the mask's chin. "It came for me in prison, late at night." His eyes glittered. "You know I've never been one to turn down such an opportunity."

L's brow quirked and he nodded thoughtfully.

"I suppose... but... I saw your body. The prison contacted me."

At that, B barked a harsh laugh. He leaned against the wall, his eyes sharp.

"Oh yeah, like the prison's going to tell the great detective L that they lost me. You used that prison so much to send your criminals to. Why would they risk losing your confidence in them?"

L's eyes dawned in realization, still as a statue as he breathed.

"... They probably launched their own investigation to track you down before having to incur my wrath. And seeing as your face was so damaged, it'd be relatively easy to use another burn victim as your 'body'."

They... they tried to trick him... And it had fucking worked because he had been avoiding seeing the progress in B's treatments. His eyes darkened.

"When I get back, I'm going to kill them."

B chuckled and hummed, tilting his head affectionately.

"Same ol' Lawli. So, how long have you been here?"

"Lost count," L murmured off-handedly, hugging his knees to his chest.

He faltered and looked up at B, at the navy blue mask and gold. There was still so much to say between them. A part of L knew he should've visited B in prison more often, but he couldn't. And ever since he thought B had died, his lack of visitation had been one of his greatest regrets. L swallowed thickly, scanning the other man's eyes.

"... Let me see your face."

B hesitated, an uncomfortable silence falling over the room.

He stepped closer to L and kneeled by the side of the bed. L looked over him, his heart racing. He never could get a reading on B. Not when they were young and not now. He held his breath, trying not to shift at the intensity of B's gaze. The other slowly lifted his mask and the first thing L registered was a green glow.

B's skin was scarred, jagged lines stretching across his discolored skin. At this point, most of his hair had managed to grow back to their luscious locks, but it was still a bit frayed in the front. Numbers covered his entire face, lighting his features up like a beacon. Even when he smiled and talked, L could see numbers inside his mouth. Goosebumps peppered L's arms.

Did the numbers cover his entire body?

B chuckled, running a finger over one of the numbers.

"Pretty cool, hm?" He purred, his eyes sparked gleefully. "I came on the train with a high number, but it just keeps going up and up. Especially ever since I put together Alpha-bet."

L blinked rapidly, trying to distract himself from the brilliant glow. His brow arched and there was a hint of amusement in his tone.

"Alpha-bet?"

"Uh, yeah. Because we're the alpha pack of the train." B puffed his chest out proudly.

L hummed, propping a thumb between his lips. That sounded like B 100%. It seemed like he was rather mellow, or at least in a good mood. L's brain started formulating a plan. He could always play along, pretend B was winning him over. Gain his trust. Then at some point, split. Run as fast as he could and never look back.

The plan had its flaws, but it wasn't like he had anything else on the table. B's next words though sent the plan shattering.

"Oh, by the way, who's Light?"

He froze, dread seeping through his stomach. L's face remained carefully neutral, his body language not betraying the sudden and intense fear that shot through him.

"No one important," he cleared his throat, "just another Passenger."

The other's brow arched, a taunting smirk playing at those scarred lips.

"Is that so? Is that why you were screaming for him to help you when we took you in? Why you-" B reached into his coat and pulled out L's journal. L's heart almost stopped beating. "-drew his face? You have several pages of him, you know. Some of these are incredible... some of them are quite steamy, if I do say so myself."

L's cheeks burned, his chest constricting on him. He winced as B idly flipped through the journal, revealing drawing after drawing of Light. Of him smiling. Of him sleeping. Of his body. L had to stave off hyperventilation, squeezing the bed's sheets between his fingers. He tried to make his voice authoritative, but it sounded so small to him.

"Give it back."

B's face soured, features twisting into an ugly snarl.

"You fucked him, didn't you? What's wrong with him, hm? Murderer? Thief? Asshole in general?"

L straightened and barked defensively.

"Shut up, Beyond!"

The other's eyes widened a fraction. He bared his teeth, his hand snapping out. L gasped as it wrapped around his throat, applying just enough pressure for his lungs to scream. He squirmed in the grasp, a cough hacking from the back of his throat. B looked on coldly, his eyes dark red pits that drew in L's very soul.

"You know, L, I always wanted to be the person who understood you the best."

L tried nodding, his voice rasped and strained.

"You are! You are...h-he doesn't even know about Wammy's-"

"Does he know what kind of a monster you are?" B cooed. "That you killed your foster father? That you've been a killer since you were fucking eight?"

L gasped, the wind knocked out of him.

He stopped and stared at him, his eyes wide. The words struck a chord, bringing up all the self-hatred he'd felt over the years. He was a monster... and being around the Apex had just been a reminder. A group full of children who'd committed atrocities. He whimpered, trembling in B's grip, the world spinning and going blurred.

"... How do you know that...?"

B chuckled, letting go of L's neck. He sagged forward, coughing and sucking in sweet lung-fulls of air. But his body was still trembling. If B knew about that, what else did he know? How did he find out? His nostrils flared, at a loss. B stood, slowly pacing around the bed like a shark, watching L with a haunting expression. L consciously rubbed his neck, the hairs on his body standing, warning of him of danger.

Of a predator.

B's lips curled.

"I know it because you're mine. We were meant for each other, Strawberry."

"No one knew," L breathed, his eyes wide and watching the other like a hawk. "The only one who knew was Watari, and he had it scrubbed from every database."

A low chuckle vibrated from the other, making L shudder. He wanted Light. He wanted Light so badly that it hurt. He didn't know it was possible to want someone this much. Standing near the barred window, B shook his head.

"That's not the only thing I know about you now. And there's still so much to learn..." He looked at L, something insane sparking behind his eyes. "You and I... we can be together again. Rule the train with our combined intellect. Of course we'd have to find and kill this Light fellow."

"Oh please," L scoffed, his eyes narrowed. "I'd rather die."

B's features twisted into a scowl. He took a menacing step forward.

"Lawliet, I don't need to hurt you to make you suffer. You realize that, don't you?"

L's bottom lip quivered, hating this. Hating his powerlessness. He chewed the inside of his cheek, stiffening when B fished something else out of his coat. It was a little clear vial with what looked like robots. The robots were the size of peas, small white balls stacked neatly on top of each other. A foreboding feeling filled L's chest. B held it up to the light, smiling.

"What are those?" L demanded, scrambling back the closer B got.

"I'm not quite sure what to call them. 'Little mechanical parasites' doesn't have quite the ring to it." He smirked. "Got them from The Cat. Had to trade some of my favorite books for them, but they were worth it. They're how I know about your foster father."

B leaned over him, sprinkling the contents of the vial into L's hair. He squeaked, eyes darting as he felt the small robots moving over his head. Leaning forward, B gently grasped L's chin in between his fingers.

"Memory. It's a strange thing, isn't it? These little babies extract memory tape to be viewed and experienced. Apparently it's safe for someone to see another's tape, but going into your own tape? I've heard it can be quite dangerous." His lips curled. "I think it's an over-exaggeration. Last chance, L. Join me?"

L gagged, feeling something being pulled from his scalp. It looked like what B said... a tape reel. L's teeth chattered. He snickered bitterly, his eyes narrowed.

"S-so, what? You're going to trap me in my own memories? _Fuck you_. I've already been trapped in them for years."

That made B bare his teeth. He took out another small device, starting to feed the reel into it. L's breath caught, his throat bobbing nervously. B's voice was saccharine. 

"I'll come back in a few hours. See if you're more agreeable then. We could do great things together, L... Think about it."

He pressed a button on the device and it projected static onto the wall. L opened his mouth to retort, but the second he saw the static, his body went limp, his gaze hollow. B gently patted the top of L's hair.

"Have fun, Lawli."

* * *

Simon sighed.

"He hasn't left the store in days. And he's refusing to eat."

Grace frowned at that, glancing in the store's direction. Light wasn't really talking to anyone. His entire face had taken on an empty expression, almost he'd lost the ability to feel. Grace massaged the bridge of her nose, groaning.

"Fine. I'll see if I can talk to him."

She moved into the store and faltered. Light was sitting up and staring at his hands, running his fingers along his palms.

"Uuuh... hey Light," she started.

Light didn't look up at her. It felt like forever until he spoke, his voice quiet.

"... I thought it'd be different without Ryuzaki."

Was this how bad it'd be if he'd killed L? Like someone had ripped a hole into his stomach? Like his heart had been pounded into mush? At the moment, he didn't even want to imagine how he'd feel if L was actually dead. Grace's eyes went sympathetic and she nodded slowly, wiggling her toes thoughtfully. She hummed, hooking an arm around Light's shoulders.

"I get it. He's your Simon. Someone you couldn't imagine life without. But... you can't keep worrying about him. You have your own life."

He turned to face her, nodding slowly. Maybe she did understand... He couldn't let this... attraction... towards L keep him from his goals. And yet, he was so miserable. He'd lost so much motivation and a part of him didn't even care at the thought of helping these kids, or Kira, or the death note. He wanted L...

"Heh. Yeah. I guess so."

Grace smiled reassuringly. She looked ready to say something else, when the kids downstairs started laughing. Grace groaned, hopping to her feet. She extended a hand to Light, but he simply watched it warily.

"Come on," she urged, "Let's see what those troublemakers are up to."

Light sighed heavily as he stood on his own, shuffling after her. The kids listened to him, but not nearly as much as they did Grace. And if he was being honest with himself, he was pretty sure she hadn't made him an official member of the Apex because she felt threatened by him.

There were about five kids at the bottom of the escalator, chasing after... Scrap. Light blinked. Scrap was flying just out of their reach. What was he doing here? Hadn't he been staying in the backpack?... The one L took...?

"Hey," Light commanded, bounding down the escalator, "stop that."

The kids obeyed, pouting but stepping away from the bird. Grace looked on curiously, wrinkling her nose at the denizen.

"What could you possibly want with it? It's just another worthless denizen."

Light pursed his lips, not liking her tone but not protesting. Scrap zipped down, banging against Light's forehead and twittering urgently. Light's mouth fell open as Scrap flew around him, his tweets rising in pitch and intensity.

He reached out a hand, allowing Scrap to perch. Scrap kept hopping though, flapping his little wings. Light's breath caught.

"I think Ryuzaki's in danger," Light whispered, gently running a finger down Scrap's back.


	24. The Cloud Car

Light turned the little bird over, his heart racing. Maybe he was reading too much into the situation, but the way Scrap fluttered and twittered urgently... something in his gut told him he wasn't wrong. Grace's brow quirked and she opened her mouth. Before she could get a word out, Light was whirling towards the kids, already barking orders.

"Lucy. You pack supplies. We're not sure how far away Ryuzaki's being held."

Lucy stuttered, looking momentarily stunned. Light didn't give her a chance to recover, sweeping a hand towards Todd.

"Todd, get the weapons ready. Mikey, make sure all the harpoon packs are in working condition."

They all jumped, instantly running to follow his orders. Grace started, staring at the kids in awe. She tilted her head, her stomach bubbling with... something... _Who does he think he is? He hasn't even cleared this rescue with me_! Grace huffed and crossed her arms, glancing in Light's direction. She tried for a friendly, disarming smile, but Light saw through it. He stiffened seeing the way her lips tightened and her jaw clamped.

"Don't you think we should talk about this?" She asked sweetly.

Light scowled, his eyes narrowed as he glared at her. She simply kept up her deceptively soft smile. He shook his head.

"If Ryuzaki's in trouble-"

"Exactly. If. You're taking the word of a null," she cut off, her own eyes narrowing a fraction.

Light faltered, scanning her. He looked at Scrap, his voice going frigid.

"Why else would he risk coming to a car full of denizen-killers if the news wasn't urgent? If you don't want to come, that's fine."

"And if I'm not going, I can't let any of my kids go either," she snapped back, her body tensing. "The direction your friend went? That's Alpha-bet. If your friend's being held by them, then he's as good as dead."

Light gaped at her, straightening defensively. For the past few days, he'd felt aimless. Like it'd all been pointless without L. He took a menacing step forward.

"I don't believe that. If they're as bad as you say they are, then shouldn't we do everything in our power to save him?"

The much too-static smile never left Grace's lips.

"I'm sorry, Light. But as leader of the Apex, I have a responsibility. I'm in charge of these kids' safety. The simple truth is that Ryuzaki's not Apex."

 _So in other words, you don't care about him_. Light swallowed thickly. He looked ready to argue when Grace held up a hand.

"And you'd do well to remember that you're not officially Apex either."

 _She doesn't like how I took charge like that... no wonder I'm not 'officially Apex' yet_... Light stared at her, a spike of adrenaline shooting through him. It made sense she'd make a power move like this at some point... to solidify her leadership and remind him of his place. He paused, realizing the kids had stopped preparing for the expedition and were watching the two of them in interest. Light's features remained schooled as he hummed.

"Ah, I see. Very valid. And why amn't I a member, hm? Because my number's higher than yours?"

There were low murmurs from the crowd, the ice in the air thickening. Light locked eyes with her challengingly. Her own dark eyes sparked, her lips pursed in a displeased expression.

"That's not it," she replied airily, "But you don't know anything about us. Our customs, our beliefs. I was willing to take you in. You're useful, and I still believe that."

Light examined her, his stomach turning. Did she honestly believe she could control him? Keep him under her thumb like all these brainwashed puppets? He blinked, his mouth falling open in shock... Hadn't that been what she was already doing? Enticing him with the Apex's technology, praising his skills and intellect, taking him out to raids on her 'favorite cars', and all the while distancing him from L... who she'd probably deemed less useful.

... Had he been fucking played?

His face soured. He looked around the kids, feeling his throat close on him.

As long as Grace didn't make him an official member, they'd always see him as an outsider and she'd keep her power... there was no way he could convince them to disobey her.

"It's the right thing to do," he tried anyway.

None of them met his gaze. A foreboding feeling filled his chest. The message was clear- either play by Grace's rules, or get out. He adjusted his backpack, scanning her.

"I'm out of here."

The pleasant grin never left her face.

"That's a shame. I think you would've fit in here. The door's always open if you change your mind!"

"I don't think I will," Light muttered.

Grace's eyes flashed triumphantly. Light's heart was pounding, urging him to challenge her. To take control of the Apex and write her name on his scrap in his watch. He wanted them to do as he told... but L's words echoed in his head... about how he'd get burnt if he went against her. That- that wouldn't happen...

 _They'll never accept you as their leader_.

It was a bitter pill, and one he probably would've never swallowed before the train. But... it was a fact... and another fact was that L needed him. He took a few steps towards the exit and silently slipped out of the car, feeling all of their eyes on his back.

The farther he went, the more his arm tingled. Light stopped in front of the entrance to the next car and slowly rode up his shirt. He gasped softly.

His number was going down in droves, disappearing from around his chest and back. It stopped on his shoulder. Light ran an awed finger over the glowing numbers. That was supposed to be good, right? Some kind of sign of growth?

Even through the fear he had for L and of the danger ahead, a small smile crossed his lips.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he walked. It must've been a few days at least. He stopped to rest in a smaller car. It looked like the sky with various clouds set up to jump on. He laid down on one cloud, staring at the sky around him.

"I wish you could talk," he whispered to Scrap.

The little bird zipped through the sky, stretching its wings.

"You could just tell me everything," Light sighed, shaking his head.

As he pushed himself to a sitting position, he couldn't help prickles of guilt running through him. He'd just been so intrigued at the idea of the Apex. Just a bunch of kids coming together to survive and live under their own rules. It was his fault. He drove L away... Light bit his lip, forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. He struggled to his feet and jumped to the next cloud, and then the next until he reached the exit. This car would've been fun if he was with L... his chest constricted with a pang.

Light started opening the door, but Scrap rammed into his hand. He yelped when he got a paper cut, glaring at Scrap accusingly.

"What the Hell?!"

Scrap kept flying in front of him, practically screeching. Light's eyes widened a fraction. Rather than swing the door open, he peeked out.

There were two guards at the next car's entrance, lazily lounging against the metal and talking to each other in a friendly tone. They looked relaxed, obviously not expecting trouble. Light's brow quirked. They were decked out in what looked like ancient Roman armor, the designs intricate with an ancient appearance. He hummed to himself, taking a step back from the door and turning to Scrap.

"I take it they're with the assholes who took L?"

Scrap bobbed affirmatively in the air.

Light nodded slowly, his mind already working. He hadn't been able to grab a harpoon pack, so it wasn't like he could zip over their heads... he gently nudged Scrap, grinning.

"Distraction?"

* * *

Scrap squawked, shooting towards one of the guards. She yelped as Scrap started slicing his wings across her face, leaving thin paper cuts. She yelled, viciously swatting at the denizen while the other gasped and tried to help. They kept swatting and yelling, eventually making their way off to the side. One guard tried straight-up punching Scrap... which ended up with the one guard's fist colliding into the other's face.

"Motherfucker-"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry!"

"You bitch!"

The hurt guard tackled the other. They roared, kicking and scratching while Scrap hovered out of reach. 

Light blinked. That... worked too. 

He only had a few seconds to quietly run across the bridge and slip past them, silently closing the door behind him. Light blanched at the large expanse in front of him.

How the Hell was he supposed to find L in all this?!

What if he wasn't even in this car?!

The city had the look of ancient Rome, with marble buildings and intricate statues. He was on top of a hill overlooking it all and couldn't help but whistle, impressed. It looked to be about half the size of Rome, but even then, it was gigantic. There was even a colosseum to the right and a large palace to the left, standing tall and looming over the other buildings. Light bit his lip. If he wasn't suspicious of these people for having taken L, he would've thought this was some sort of paradise.

He tilted his head, looking over the crowd. As far as he could tell, there weren't any denizens among them, they were all just humans. Light's eyes widened. If this was that other group, Alpha-bet... they were bigger than the Apex. Light could easily imagine 100-200 Passengers weaving among the marketplace and chatting jovially. He swallowed thickly, creeping down the hill and to a clothesline.

Light swiped a cloak and wrapped it around his shoulders, keeping his face mostly tilted down as he started walking.

If L had been captured, where would he be? A dungeon? Maybe being held at the colosseum? He shook his head and moved for a fruit stand, his stomach rumbling.

"I don't know why B's so obsessed with his captive-" He overheard.

Light stopped walking, pretending to inspect the fruit as the other person chuckled.

"He's not even Alpha-bet material! Scrawny little thing. Also wouldn't make an interesting show at the colosseum."

Light's throat bobbed, tightening the cloak around himself. Could they be talking about L? He pressed closer, his heart racing.

"Tell me about it! Ugly little thing. I've been put on fucking babysitting duty! 'Oh, Z get some honey for my little Strawberry' 'Hey, hey, Z! Just get as much sugar as Lawli wants.'" 'Z' rolled his eyes, stuffing a jar of jam into a basket.

Light felt faint. His L... but... he would've never told these people he was L and it seemed like everyone went around with a letter. He deadpanned. _Oh... alphabet, alpha-bet... well that's stupid as fuck_.

Whatever. He wasn't here to judge their group's name.

As Z started moving, he subtly followed, being careful about tailing him. The guard didn't seem to notice, making a direct beeline for the palace. Light gaped, slowly looking up at the palace.

Was... was L in there?

He imagined that if they were off the train, the palace would be much larger. But as it stood, it was impressive in its own right. There weren't many guards... 'B' must've trusted everyone under him.

Light hung back and sighed. If he was really going to comb the palace, it'd have to be at night, when he could disappear like a shadow. Glancing around, he slipped back into the crowd.

He wasn't sure how long he wandered, trying and failing to come up with a plan. He couldn't just check every room in the palace... and God forbid L wasn't even there... Hell, if the Alpha-bet hadn't even been the one to take him hostage...! _We never should've split up,_ Light thought miserably as the sun started to dip down.

Light turned a corner and froze.

The Cat was lounging on top of a wall, idly licking her paw, her tail swishing. Light's eyes went to slits. Before she could notice him and run away, he roughly grasped the scruff of her neck, holding her up.

She yelped, her eyes going full of rage as she hissed.

"Who _dares-"_ She faltered, slowly blinking. They stared at each other, neither being the first to break the silence. Finally, The Cat's lips curled in interest. "Ah. The light that can't decide what kind of light he is! Il est bon de vous revoir."

Light made a show of rolling his eyes.

"Cut it with the French." He bared his teeth, his voice a warning growl. "What are you doing here?"

The Cat's brow quirked in amusement.

"Enjoying my vacation. Beyond gave me immunity and some very shiny things in exchange for my services." Her tail flicked as she giggled. "I really like shiny things."

Light glared, his jaw twitching incredulously. She stretched in his grip, yawning in boredom.

"Are you actually going to put me down, Kitten?"

"Do you know where he is?" Light demanded. "Where Ryuzaki is?!"

The Cat cocked her head.

"Ryuzaki? No... although, Beyond does have a new captive-"

"Where?" Light cut off impatiently.

The Cat stared at him and sighed airily, rolling her shoulders as best she could.

"Well I can't exactly help when I'm so... immobile."

Making a sound of disgust, Light released her. He crossed his arms expectantly, watching her like a hawk. She stretched dramatically, flashing a coy smile.

"Infiniment reconnaissant. How about this, Kitten? I'll help you find this new captive and you can decide whether or not it's Ryuzaki, but you know I don't work for free."

Light's lips pursed in distrust. He nodded slowly.

"Ryuzaki has a mountain of journals. They document the train we've seen so far. I'll convince him to give one to you?" _More like pry one from his hands... granted he still has the backpack_.

She perked up in interest at that.

"Well, I do like books," she mused thoughtfully.

"Great," Light stepped closer and bent down so he was at her level. "Then help me find him."

The Cat considered and ultimately bobbed her head.

"It's a deal. Come now, it's getting dark. I know my fair share of secret ways into the palace."

Light exhaled, trying not to let the relief show on his face. He was fairly certain he wouldn't have been able to do anything without help. His lips twitched as he followed her.

"Why am I not surprised?"

_Please let him be here. I'm coming L... I'll turn this whole car upside down if I have to..._

_I love you._


End file.
